Awful School sports day

[Seniorschoolmum]

I’ve just endured my ds’s sports day. My ds loathes sport. He has been stressing about it for weeks. He is the youngest, slowest & smallest in his year. He had to take part in every race and came last in all except one.
This was in front of 300 people.
He was understandably humiliated and very upset, and it showed. The school head walked across to him and told him to stop making a fuss, in front of everyone.
Six weeks ago, his year did SATS. In a class room, not in front of an audience of 300. Those children who weren’t very good were provided with counselling g, two terms of mindfulness sessions and every support.
I wholly agree with that support.

But the head’s behaviour this afternoon was nasty, spiteful, ignorant and unhelpful. I am so angry I can barely speak. I feel like pulling ds out of school for the last 3 weeks of term and wrecking her attendance figures on purpose.

I will calm down in a bit but honestly....

@Fibbke with regard to what exactly?

@Fibbke, what's rubbish?

I work unpredictable shifts, I might be able to go to the gym (at very odd hours), but competitive sports are out of the question.

"Fancy a game of badminton? When are you free next?"

"Next Thursday after 1am"

"Ah"

It's extremely hard to get to any organised class and that's just me.

Single, with children. How anyone with any caring responsibilities gets to play is beyond me.

Dh played a sport to county level I played it my school always been “my” sport. My father played the same sport his whole working life. We take dds to lessons. Nada. No interest no effort not for them. Do a year before giving up. They both like other sports. So my point is “parental involvement” only gets you so far

Lots and lots of adults play on hockey, netball, football teams. Lots and lots of adults do competitive sport, the trialthons near us fill up weeks in advance. Ditto cycle races. 10ks and 5ks always really wrll attended.

Just because you don't do it doesn't mean no-one does! Our local netball club has 3 teams for older people. Ditto back to hockey. The tennis club has a waiting list. There are loads of adult football clubs.

parental involvement doesnt mean pushing them to play the sport that you do! Clearly your dcs do sport anyway almost certainly because you yourselves are sporty.

Is there really a ‘baying mob’ of parents at most sports days, booing and hissing at the slower pupils?

There was a grandparent at sports day last year (non competitive one where they go round in a little group on all the activities) from another year group (so I didn't know them or the child they related to in order to go and complain) who openly stood howling with laughter at DD2's attempts to participate.

DD2 has phenomenal resilience and will try absolutely anything and try her hardest at it all - but she's severely dyspraxic. This fucking arsehole just stood and laughed at a 5 year old with special needs for the whole event. (Thankfully the way the year groups are divided for sports day it's going to be a good few years before there's the potential to cross paths again)

At the moment DD2 is happy to give things a go but is starting to be upset by comments during things like the Daily Mile (some of the lads mocking her for how she runs) - I'll be letting her go sick for sports day if she wants to when she's older.

Also not an academic high flier - rarely gets praised for anything so Sports Day isn't some kind of redemption for the kids who struggle at academic work - it's just another kind of hell for the kids like my child who struggle at it all.

(Does dancing, swimming, climbing outside school and has a completely normal BMI and brilliant diet before the "it's for their own good childhood obesity epidemic" brigade starts. Also has phenomenal amounts of resilience and knows better than many adults how to try her best at something she finds hard - before that one starts.)

Fuck sports day seriously. Awful awful institution.

I know that if i saw someone openly howling with laughter at my dd I wouldn't have stood by.

"There was a grandparent at sports day last year (non competitive one where they go round in a little group on all the activities) from another year group (so I didn't know them or the child they related to in order to go and complain) who openly stood howling with laughter at DD2's attempts to participate."

And such a person is a nasty shit. I don't believe that everyone at a sports day is a nasty shit. It's for the Head and teachers to create a positive attitude. And for spectators to stick to that approach.

Yeah you sometimes get prats like that at kids football matches. Luckily the culture is changing and it's really frowned on and much less common than it was 10 years ago.

I'd suggest an elective style of sports day, with some more 'fun' less competitive races. I.e. every kid has to choose at least 2 activities. But kids who aren't into sport can chose ones that aren't so competitive.

I wasn't bad at sports by any means but hated sports day because I'm not naturally competitive. But some kids are and loved it, monster ability ranges. Introducing some choice surely could still be inclusive but not so rigid/not make so many children feel bad.

On another note though, it is a bit worrying that he is SO distressed, months in advance about sports day. Do you bring this up with him?

Any way to encourage him to focus on things he is good at/enjoys and help him feel like sports day isn't important/just one boring day to get through that doesn't matter and isn't worth his energy in worrying?

I think some people with accommodating workplaces and a playing field conveniently located might be able to be on a football team etc. But not many. And most of those will probably quit once they have kids. My husband used to play cricket but quit as soon as we had our baby. Playing on a team sport is a very large commitment and it would be appallingly unfair to keep doing that while the other spouse gets all the housework and baby care dumped on them. So he does gym and jiu-jitsu like a normal working person does. Lifelong fitness needs to centered around things that fit into your lifestyle in a time efficient way.

Lifelong fitness needs to centered around things that fit into your lifestyle in a time efficient way yes of course, which is what your dh does. Do you? I know 6 women on the netball team and back to hockey, two nurses and the others working in 9 to 5 jobs. I'm not sure what your point is.

I play sport. I do not play in a club but just for fun. Yes club sports teams that compete take a large amount of time. But there are lots of just for fun clubs that play sport once a week for an hour.

Lifelong fitness needs to centered around things that fit into your lifestyle in a time efficient way yes of course, which is what your dh does. Do you?

I walk my DC to and from school twice a day and come home via the shops carrying my groceries. That is already more exercise than the average hour long gym session, fitness class or team game. I do it every single school day and then I add to it.

I am very lucky to be able to live my life in such a way that my car rarely leaves the drive. However it does perplex me somewhat when I see neighbours driving their DC to school so they can dash off by car to the gym.

Do you get properly out of breath doing that? Walking is fab for many reasons but it isn't particularly good for cardiovascular fitness in the way a spin session might be

I play football, it's once a week. We are all old women and terrible at it but its really fun and tiring. We don't know any other teams of ancient women so don't play matches except against each other.

You can do the 3 times a day 10 minutes of brisk walking making sure you get out of breath. If you do this every day it is as good as going to the gym. This is properly researched.

Yes of course as long as you are getting properly out of breath. Walking doesn't make me out of breath even if i walk fast.

Do you get properly out of breath doing that? Walking is fab for many reasons but it isn't particularly good for cardiovascular fitness in the way a spin session might be

But spin sessions are a very modern invention. I'm in my 40s and growing up it was not the norm amongst my friends for their mothers to do sport or go to the gym. Actually I don't suppose there even were gyms really? I had one friend whose mother we were all in awe of because she was so glamorous and went to an aerobics class once a week in a brightly coloured leotard and footless tights.

But our parents weren't all overweight and unfit just because they didn't spend their evenings doing HIIT classes

I'm using the gym as an example because thats what the pp said, she wondered why her neighbours went to the gym instead of walking. Personally i hate the gym! But i can see three sessions in the gym would be more beneficial to heart health than walking to and from school. I did that for years and class that as a normal non sedentary lifestyle. I need to play sport and run a couple of times a week even slowly to get breathless and get my heart rate up.

Weight has nothing much to do with exercise. I think our parents were possibly quite unfit if they did no cardio of any sort. They were thinner because they ate less

@fibbke Which is why many people start with brisk walking and progress to running. Alternatively walking up hills briskly will make anyone out of breath.

I think its just because walking is rarer now that we think walking to the shops and school is loads of exercise. It really isn't unless you were hugely unfit to start with. Not everyone with a dog is fit!

@fibke I have read that the average person in the UK would have to run a weekly marathon to get as much exercise as people did in the 50s.

Weight has nothing much to do with exercise.

I'd broadly agree with this. But then there's no point in anyone making the argument that school sports is important in tackling obesity, which has cropped up a lot on this thread. And conversely I am currently a bit overweight (but am working on tackling that) yet I'm pretty fit - my resting heart rate is good, I can run a decent distance and I do strength work at the gym etc. So whilst I definitely need to tackle my weight, I'm not sure that I'm this huge drain on society that some would have us believe, just because I'm a stone overweight.