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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Awful School sports day

586 replies

Seniorschoolmum · 28/06/2019 17:50

I’ve just endured my ds’s sports day. My ds loathes sport. He has been stressing about it for weeks. He is the youngest, slowest & smallest in his year. He had to take part in every race and came last in all except one.
This was in front of 300 people.
He was understandably humiliated and very upset, and it showed. The school head walked across to him and told him to stop making a fuss, in front of everyone.
Six weeks ago, his year did SATS. In a class room, not in front of an audience of 300. Those children who weren’t very good were provided with counselling g, two terms of mindfulness sessions and every support.
I wholly agree with that support.

But the head’s behaviour this afternoon was nasty, spiteful, ignorant and unhelpful. I am so angry I can barely speak. I feel like pulling ds out of school for the last 3 weeks of term and wrecking her attendance figures on purpose.

I will calm down in a bit but honestly....

OP posts:
JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 30/06/2019 14:15

I have no problem celebrating athletic achievement at prize giving along with all the rest but with public exams it's all supposed to be anonymous when marking. I don't agree with publishing students results when they could be given privately.

escapade1234 · 30/06/2019 14:21

I reckon more parents have a problem with sports day than children. It’s the pain of watching your child fail, isn’t it? I remember comforting a mother at a sports day whose child was very far behind the others. She was far more upset than her child who seemed to quite enjoy all the extra clapping and cheers when he crossed the line.

escapade1234 · 30/06/2019 14:22

Personally my children are all very sporty but never quite win. But then it’s rather hard to win the 100m when you’re up against 50 others. Only one can win, the next 10 are still really good athletes. They just didn’t get medals.

Whatafustercluck · 30/06/2019 14:43

I've never been to a sports day where all the children weren't enjoying themselves. Ds's school does a team round robin of different activities first and there are various abilities, but they love cheering on their team mates. It's always a lovely occasion and the parents of the less sporty kids say their children still love the occasion and the fun of taking part. Plus, its gets them out of 'lessons' for a few hours to enjoy some fresh air! I think it probably depends on how the school runs the day. From what I've seen none of the children are unhappy but tbh even if the odd one or two were, I don't see why all the other children should have to go without. Not everyone is sporty, but not everyone is academic either.

Northernparent68 · 30/06/2019 14:48

Jenny, I know many people who were put off exercise as a result of sport at school. So, yes it’s damaging. Why on earth do n’t schools offer a choice between sport and non competitive exercise.

Sl33pingfox · 30/06/2019 16:54

I’ve seen lots who hate it. Plenty of kids don’t like the screaming and noise. I have often thought many parents at sports day are quite intimidating for any child let alone a child failing over and again.I see a school in Wales has now banned parents from attending.

I think if struggling children are going to be forced to compete in every race in front of screaming chanting crowds you must do the same for every subject or make it voluntary. I’d have happily failed one race or even two if I knew later on that week I’d have a chance to do ok in front of the same chanting parents for a different subject.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 30/06/2019 17:51

And I so will be a fucking snowflake parent as I will ensure my boys have a sports day alright. Just doing something fun interesting and useful outside of school for the day. Running, swimming and climbing all potentially life saving skills not sitting on ones arse being a scowlcheerleader.

MsTSwift · 30/06/2019 17:57

Most of the kids who “shine” at sports day aren’t the plucky outsiders who struggle with maths. Anecdotally it’s usually golden kids who are sporty and clever who thrive. Life isn’t a Hollywood movie sadly.

howabout · 30/06/2019 18:03

Agreed MsTSwift because the same DC who have home support for their academic studies are the ones who go to out of school clubs to build their sporting prowess. They will also likely be the ones excelling at music and drama.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 30/06/2019 18:12

Yeah, I still don't get the thing about sporty =/= academic. When I eyeball my colleagues in my department practically everyone does something sporty out of hours. Climbing a big thing as well as Ultimate Frisbee.

Wearywithteens · 30/06/2019 19:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 30/06/2019 19:16

That's the thing. For me exercise is what I do for me and to interact with the world. There are fewer the go more joy killing than finding out that others have been judging my performance when all the while I just thought it was for fun.

thedevondumpling · 30/06/2019 19:20

What some would do is allow the (frequently smug) academic students smile as they get their 94%s back in tests but absent themselves for the one day a year that some of the 53% ers get to shine What about the frequently smug academic students who are also outstanding at sport? What about the kid who struggles with all the academic subjects and is rubbish at sport?

Why do people always assume people are either academic or sporty, and of course you must be one of them.

jennymanara · 30/06/2019 19:28

I do think this kind of thing fuels snowflake tendencies

thedevondumpling · 30/06/2019 19:29

‘Forcing people to do something that they can’t is bad for their self esteem’ for instance. Does that apply to Maths, English, doing science practicals? Or uniquely to sport?

It would apply to doing your maths test in front of a baying mob of 300 parents. Should we get them to do it on whiteboard where everyone can see where they are struggling? Or should we just wait for the teacher to should out, "Zero out of 20 let's all give him a big cheer and clap and shout while he tries to get it right."

larrygrylls · 30/06/2019 19:47

TheDevon,

Is there really a ‘baying mob’ of parents at most sports days, booing and hissing at the slower pupils?

Not personally experienced that, myself. Most parents enjoy a good race but the 1,500 m joggers who just keep going generally also get applause.

And you may not do your Maths test in front of an audience, but you get the result back in front of your peers and a school report with your result on.

I agree with the comments up above which say kids generally love sports day once they are there. It is an outdoor event with a carnival atmosphere.

larrygrylls · 30/06/2019 19:51

And JohnMccain,

Taking kids out of school on a school day as you don’t approve of that day sets an awful precedent. Your boys may decide that triple Maths or double history is not really their thing and doing badly ‘damages their self esteem’ and, thus,decide to take a day out.

And you won’t have a leg to stand on...

NameChange9854 · 30/06/2019 20:08

Somehow or another, someone is putting too much pressure on these kids. I was useless at sport in primary school but I still enjoyed it.

Fibbke · 30/06/2019 20:11

Is there really a ‘baying mob’ of parents at most sports days, booing and hissing at the slower pupils?

This is literally one of those things that only exists in the minds of certain Mumsnet posters.

MsTSwift · 30/06/2019 20:15

My kids are sporty just not at athletics. One is indifferent to coming last as utterly uncompetitive it really upset the other so we skipped sports day. Sorry (not sorry). She was mortified coming last and the kind patronising clapping and awww bless. Fuck off!

Northernparent68 · 30/06/2019 20:34

No, Larry no one lets their children skip academic subjects because they are important and will help you in later life. Playing competitive sports not so much. As i’ve Said before why can’t children choose between a fitness class and team sports.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 30/06/2019 20:37

Why. Do. People. Confuse. Skipping. Sports. Day. With. Skipping. Core. Subject.?!?

My boys are well versed with the concept of a comprehensive education and that every subject has its grind from time to time. But sports day is a special case as it's so public but is also so irrelevant to the most important part of physical education- lifelong fitness, mental health care and avoiding morbidity?

trollopolis · 30/06/2019 20:39

Perhaps because PE is a core, compuisory sunject?

Fibbke · 30/06/2019 20:42

If you want lifelong fitness for your kids why don't you get stuck in? Instead of moaning that they have to run a race once a year? Take them to parkrun every Saturday = lifelong love of fitness plus they'll boss sports day next year. Win win.

Or just do fuck all and moan on here about how nasty teachers are!

larrygrylls · 30/06/2019 20:43

John,

You have unilaterally decided it is a ‘special case’ and will not have any value to them in later life.

Strangely, most schools and the DofE disagree with you, but what would they know?!

The value of sports day (IMO) is recognition of the school community, support for one’s peers and doing something you may not like as well as you can.

In most careers you will come across similar scenarios and, for those who just gave them a swerve at school, they will be ill prepared.