to consider present for dd's third birthday inappropriate

[MellyMum]

My dd was 3 recently, she received loads of really nice pressies or money from older relatives - great! Thankyou notes have been sent already.
But I was pretty annoyed when she received her gift from dp's brother and partner, who also have kids. It was a card picked from save the children, informing us that for my dd's b/day a school uniform had been sent to a child who needs it.
I am all for donating money to charity, especially children's charity, if you can afford it, but to do it for a little girl's b/day strikes me as being fairly inappropriate and highly pretentious.
Also my dd is their only niece, as BIL's partner is an only. We are in regular contact, they have their own kids, so it's not as if they don't know what stage she's at or what she might like. Could they not have come up with something better for her rather than trying to make themselves feel good? AIBU?!

We had this a year or two ago, when dds were 6 and 7 or 5 and 6. I posted the same as the OP, and the concensus then was that it was inappropriate. Only theirs was a goat.

Well this thread really kicked off since I left it! I miss all the fun. Really can't be bothered to read all of it.

I do wonder exactly how these charity gifts work - is there really a girl with a new uniform somewhere directly as a result of a three year old's birthday party? Or am I just cynical?

I would just rather give money to a reputable charity and let them decide what to do with it. Giving money specifically for a uniform/animal etc seems a bit gimmicky and expensive in terms of the paperwork and bureaucracy(sp?) involved.

No need to be rude to 3andnomore, MM

I expect the part where you thanked us all for our time, in giving our opinions that YOU HAD ASKED FOR, must have dropped off the bottom of your post

Excellent post, Greensleeves!

Answering your question 3 and no more. I would preffer people didn't waste their money on that, DS couldn't be less interested. In a couple of years time,when he can read and cares more about other people's words, maybe, but at this age I can tell him the wrapping paper has a nice message from granny and he will be as interested in it as in the card...

Having said that, I always get cards for British children his age (or even do some home made as I hate prefabricated feelings captured in a twee card) but I do it more to cover this victorian social convention and to avoid parents to flinch. But to be honest, their kids couldn't be LESS interested. They don't know what it says, and they are not old enough to apreciate the thoughts written in them.

Calm down dears, I was 'only taking the piss'.

Blimey, seems like alot of pisstakin' gets mistaken on here.

Not quite the same as a good old fashion conversation where you can gauge what someone means by the tone of their voice is it, eh? Shame really 'cos people really take umbrage don't they?!

Yeah I take umbrage when "pisstaking" seems in a nasty spirit rather than affectionate.