to consider present for dd's third birthday inappropriate

[MellyMum]

My dd was 3 recently, she received loads of really nice pressies or money from older relatives - great! Thankyou notes have been sent already.
But I was pretty annoyed when she received her gift from dp's brother and partner, who also have kids. It was a card picked from save the children, informing us that for my dd's b/day a school uniform had been sent to a child who needs it.
I am all for donating money to charity, especially children's charity, if you can afford it, but to do it for a little girl's b/day strikes me as being fairly inappropriate and highly pretentious.
Also my dd is their only niece, as BIL's partner is an only. We are in regular contact, they have their own kids, so it's not as if they don't know what stage she's at or what she might like. Could they not have come up with something better for her rather than trying to make themselves feel good? AIBU?!

I'm really astounded by this thread. There seems to be an attitude that people are entitled to presents on their birthdays. They're not. Even if they're three.

If people are generous enough to give you a present, that's lovely and you ought to be grateful to them and appreciate it, whatever it is, not consider that as you're entitled to it in the first place because it's your birthday, you can be ungrateful and unappreciative of it. What on earth sort of lesson is that to teach a child?

I don't care if I sound like I've got a pole up my arse.

me neithere...but it's probably from those tears that blurr my vision...as honest...pole up your backside is not pleasant at all

hm...just thought a [pole up the arse emoticon] would come in handy...saves on typing

LOL, I was just going to post something about not having a pole there, but a Ukranian, but that wouldn't be true, you'll be relieved to know... there are no ukranians in the vicinity... or poles... or lithuanians... etc.

now...that would be even more ouch....rofl....

psst....the funny thing is, I don't think it's us that have the pole up our arses anyway.....afterall we are chilled about teh whole argument, right

sorry could not resist...

YABU IMO. I teach my kids to be grateful for whatever they get, it's the thought that counts and all that. They don't even mind if people forget or they get a card, I am sure, being kids, that they are dissapointed sometimes, but that is life. We have got a lot of 'tat' over the years, but still appreciate the effort and money people have put into it, I would never bin it nor ask someone for something-unless they asked. I think the charity cards are a great idea, OK not 'ideal' from a 3 yo point of view maybe, but beter than tat and for a worthy cause. It's not too early to give your kids caring morals.

what was that you had said, hatrick, about certain kinds of people being unlikely to take the moral high ground, mmmmmm

you had suggested i speak to them about my doubts over their pressie, BELGO disagreed and thought they would probably take the moral high ground, you replied with "i honestly would not take the moral high ground".
Some of your recent posts would indicate that not to be strictly true

seems like there is a lot of moral high ground being trounced over by yourself just now - suggesting that you and others are all the better human beings for having the ability to accept these so-called gifts with grace

Melly, we were taking the piss, tbh...so, it's alright to throw god knows what at others, but if they throw the same comments back, it's taking the moral high ground

Well I don't know about a better human being but I know who I would rather go for a drink with

certainly be easier to buy a present for one of us or our children no thinking about...will I possibly look a prtentious lentilweaving hippy with a pole up my arse, or will I offend or upset....fgs....

now, Melly, you mentioned earlier the what if scenario, of what if they all had done it....now, then I might have understood your upset a bit...however, it was one present of many....and really it isn't about the present it's because of whatever else issues you take with the people in question....therefore YOU decided that your dd would not want nor appreciate the gift....what does that say....???

I know who I'd rather buy a present for as well.

You didn't hatrick I think that was ME

"I teach my kids to be grateful for whatever they get" - yes, me to. Only in this case the OP's daughter didn't get anything. Someone else entirely did.
I think the idea that you should be grateful for something you didn't get is quite bizarre.
"I was going to bring a bottle of wine to the party, but gave a fiver to the RSPCA instead"
"Oh wow, that's so generous. Thank you so much!"