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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to let this go, or should I complain about son being 'hit' by a teacher

251 replies

narisha99 · 25/06/2019 19:56

So, DS10 was chatting in class today while watching a video (educational, relating to the subject) and was told off twice by the teacher for talking. Fair enough. The third time the teacher hit him on the head with a book!

DS says it was hard, ie more than a tap, but wasn't enough to cause any type of injury. DS wasn't hurt or upset at the time, but was a little embarrassed and did in fact stop talking.

Whilst I don't think the teacher should have done that, its nothing more than I would have done at home, so I am tempted to leave it.

But DH thinks it is totally inappropriate and we should be complaining to the head in the morning.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 25/06/2019 19:57

This wouldn’t even bother me in the slightest. I would tell me that child that’s what happens when they don’t do as they are told.

I very much doubt it was a hard smack.

Bibijayne · 25/06/2019 19:57

I'd have a quiet word. It's not appropriate.

KevinKeegansPerm · 25/06/2019 19:58

I wouldn't complain. I would be telling my son off for disobeying the teacher and chatting.

AnneTwackie · 25/06/2019 19:58

I’d leave it. Being a teacher’s hard enough without parents bringing up tiny misdemeanours like this. I’d bring it up if it happened again.

bourbonbiccy · 25/06/2019 20:00

I would bring it up, it is completely inappropriate if it happened.

AppleKatie · 25/06/2019 20:00

It’s not on and I wouldn’t do it.

If your DS is genuinely physically/emotionally fine I would go down the route of ‘you shouldn’t have been talking’ and leave it there.

Sorry that’s a bit splintery.

Joopy · 25/06/2019 20:01

Why is your son not following through instructions? Poor teacher! I think you needs to talk to your ds about his inappropriate behaviour!

NeatFreakMama · 25/06/2019 20:01

I'd leave it, he should behave.

Jemima232 · 25/06/2019 20:03

Wow. Cannot believe some people.

It's illegal for teachers to hit children. They should be setting an example.

Also, hitting anybody on the head can lead to injury.

I would have a word with the teacher concerned in the morning and not going straight to the head.

Sexnotgender · 25/06/2019 20:03

I’d let it go and make sure your son listens in future.

Stressedout10 · 25/06/2019 20:04

Wow I guess I'm going to get flamed for this but complain. It's never ok for a teacher to lay hands on a child let alone use a weapon.
Yes it may just have been a tap on the head with a book but that's still bang out of order.
This teacher should not be allowed around children

GibbonLover · 25/06/2019 20:05

So DS ignored the teacher TWICE and carried on gabbing? Address his behaviour first before your DH starts spouting off about other people's. You admit that you'd have done the same thing and in any other situation, I bet you'd be saying that teachers have to act in loco parentis.

HappyDinosaur · 25/06/2019 20:05

I think your dh is being a bit silly, it was probably a playful tap that he is exaggerating because he knows he wasn't doing what he was told! It wouldn't bother me in the slightest and although I'm sure the school would take it seriously and it's your choice to speak to them if you really want to, it's the sort of thing that I imagine leads to a lot of eye rolling in the staff room.

boobirdblue · 25/06/2019 20:05

Wow I guess I'm going to get flamed for this but complain. It's never ok for a teacher to lay hands on a child let alone use a weapon.
Yes it may just have been a tap on the head with a book but that's still bang out of order.
This teacher should not be allowed around children

Wow over reaction of what....

How about the badly behaved boy who was warned twice is permanently excluded .... that's equal to what you want to happen to the teacher!

Original poster
narisha99 · 25/06/2019 20:06

Yes agree that he shouldn't have been talking. He can be a chatterbox, particularly if he is bored, but fully agree he had been told twice and he was still whispering when he should have been silent!

OP posts:
GibbonLover · 25/06/2019 20:06

Oh for fuck's sake Stressed, you're one of those parents aren't you? A weapon? Get over yourself.

Jemima232 · 25/06/2019 20:08

It sets a terrible example to the children. We try to teach them how to resolve conflict without using physical violence.

I still think that a quiet word with the teacher is the right thing to do in this instance.

Stressedout10 · 25/06/2019 20:09

Big difference @boobirdblue
One is 10 year old misbehaving the other is a so called professional braking the law by committing a common assault on said 10 year old.

starzig · 25/06/2019 20:10

I'd be grounding the child on account that he was being disobedient to a teacher.

PeePooAndPaperOnly · 25/06/2019 20:12

Agree with you narisha99

Original poster
narisha99 · 25/06/2019 20:12

Apologies for drip feed, but bit sure if this makes any difference but it was 3 boys that were talking and they all got the book 'hit' on their heads.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 25/06/2019 20:13

Not appropriate to hit anyone over the head with a book. If indeed it was a hit over the head (and not a mocking air hit / light tap) then I would be having a chat with the teacher before deciding whether to raise it higher.

However, given your DH's reaction to the situation does also make me wonder whether this is a textbook situation of 'student is misbehaving and knows they were wrong so minimises their own behaviour and exaggerates teacher actions because that way home will be so annoyed at the teacher and forget about my behaviour'. (See also 'Sir kicked me out for 20 minutes and then had a go at me for not working' aka 'I was told to step outaide for a word, missed 5 mins of the lesson, chose not to do my work and now feel the sanction is unfair or 'I only asked a question and the teacher SCREAMED at me ' aka 'I was repeatedly ignoring instructions and the teacher used a reasonable firm tone of voice to remind me what to do'). Of course I might be being cynical, but it's not exactly unheard of for a student who is misbehaving to put a spin on a situation.

Bookworm4 · 25/06/2019 20:13

@GibbonLover
🤣🤣🤣

ShitAtScarbble · 25/06/2019 20:14

committing a common assault Grin Grin Grin

Police! Now!

Grin
boobirdblue · 25/06/2019 20:14

@Stressedout10

Big difference @boobirdblue
One is 10 year old misbehaving the other is a so called professional braking the law by committing a common assault on said 10 year*

Common assault! Do you really think it was hard? The boy is clearly a pain the areas to be told THREE times to stop his behaviour, at 10 and assuming no SEN he's a badly behaved disruptive brat. Imagine all 30 kids in a class behaving like him.