AIBU to let this go, or should I complain about son being 'hit' by a teacher

[narisha99]

So, DS10 was chatting in class today while watching a video (educational, relating to the subject) and was told off twice by the teacher for talking. Fair enough. The third time the teacher hit him on the head with a book!

DS says it was hard, ie more than a tap, but wasn't enough to cause any type of injury. DS wasn't hurt or upset at the time, but was a little embarrassed and did in fact stop talking.

Whilst I don't think the teacher should have done that, its nothing more than I would have done at home, so I am tempted to leave it.

But DH thinks it is totally inappropriate and we should be complaining to the head in the morning.

WWYD?

are you seriously saying that being told three times is not twice too much?
No, I've never said anything remotely like that. Not sure what you're talking about. Think you've been hit with too many books.

Kid: chatter/light hearted cheekiness
Me: swats kid with book/sheaf of paper
Kid: that’s abuse!!
Me: sue me
Lesson carries on, with laughter on both sides. It’s not discipline, it’s within the context of a positive pupil/teacher relationship.

This. It's a wake up call to stop messing about and pay attention. I've seen it. I've done it.It works. Kid shuts up (at least for a while) and classes continue.

I think your DH is over reacting and so are a lot of posters.

Physical punishment........ a tap on the head by a book? Let's be honest that's what it was, the same way you'd tap your own child to stop them doing something.

You think if someone posted saying “my child was being disobedient so I hit them on the head with a book” they’d get a good response? Some would be recommending anger management and reporting yourself to social services by page 2

It doesn’t matter what the child was doing - teachers cannot hit children. You can’t put conditions on that - he deserved it, it was only a tap, etc. What do you think will happen if you do?

@donquixotedelamancha

You've suspended someone for tapping someone else with a book in a clearly humorous way?

Not a tap.This is what the OP said...and her DS said it hurt.

The third time the teacher hit him on the head with a book

So not a lighthearted tap and you're minimising it by calling it humorous. That's just making up something when you weren't there.

A pp said the worry would be your DS following instructions. This is not outlandish behaviour for a child... they do chatter when they shouldn't..and where appropriate they should be punished...but not by physical means.

Your DS could have lost his break time or got a detention for talking.

Worse still on his head. That's a terrible lack of judgement from the teacher.

If your DS has a headache and the doctor asks if he'ds had a bump or fallen...and he tells the doctor his teacher hit him on the head with a book, what do you think would happen?

It's just incredibly foolish to put yourself at risk like this.

I've seen so many occasions the child was a PITA...but where the teacher handled the situation badly through frustration and ended up being disciplined. Mitigating circumstances may reduce the sanction, but they're the ones who end up going through an investigation and a hearing.

@NameChange9854 🙄 whatever, anyway let's get back to the OP. and answer her yeah?

It was not a tap with a paperback. It was a hit with hardback

Really?

they are all telling the same story

Unfortunately that does not mean it is true OP, especially coming from misbehaving 10 year old boys

Not a tap.This is what the OP said...and her DS said it hurt

Actually, OP says this: "DS wasn't hurt or upset at the time".

Do keep up. We don't want to have to send you to sit outside the Head's office for not paying attention now do we?

😂 I've done the "tap with a book/piece of paper" a few times. I wouldn't expect a complaint about it tbh. Usually it's a bit of joke like "doh stop doing xxxx".

Sounds like your ds needs to be quiet when he's told.

Really wouldn't bother me. Might make him do as he's told next time.

The discussion over wether it
was a "tap" or a "hit"
what size of object,
it "shouldn't" have hurt or should hurt

Is exactly why it was stupid to do it, they shouldn't leave themselves open to this sort of scrutiny.

Not a tap.This is what the OP said...and her DS said it hurt.

Nope, he said the opposite:
wasn't enough to cause any type of injury. DS wasn't hurt or upset at the time

So not a lighthearted tap and you're minimising it by calling it humorous.

I can't see any interpretation of hitting three children on the head in a way that doesn't hurt and is clearly to highlight their talking other than a humorous tap. To me it seems minimal and to call it assault, as some have done, or to start contacting other parents as OP has done seems mendacious.

@boobirdblue

Yeah let's get back to flaming the OP who has already been quite clear that she doesn't excuse her son's behaviour, would have done the same as the teacher herself, thinks they should leave the matter and that he husband is overreacting.

And wonder why so many good teachers are leaving the profession.

I’d speak to the head. Under no circumstances should a teacher ever lay a finger on a child. No matter what they’ve done or how many times they’ve ignored instructions.

So what did dh suggest as an alternative? Remember that the class had already been interrupted twice by the boys being told to be quiet. By tapping them on the head at the back of the class means that no one else was involved. Would your dh's way have involved the class being disrupted yet again?
Also seeing as you weren't there how could you possibly know the class weren't being disrupted by 'whispering'? Your only source of information was the one actually making the noise!

@NameChange9854 I am allowed to have a different view to you, I think OP has said he's a chatterbox, bored and defended it was only three boys whispering at the back of the class so that that disruptive? All there to be read.

Now right 200 lines saying

I must accept that others have a different opinion to mine and respect that.

I'd be totally fine with it, its the sort of thing I'd do. My children would definitely prefer it to the official sanction of being kept in at break.

I’d speak to the head. Under no circumstances should a teacher ever lay a finger on a child. No matter what they’ve done or how many times they’ve ignored instructions.

I think I have to agree with this. I definitely wouldn't go in all guns blazing but would advise the school it's not acceptable, I wouldn't expect it from anyone else so don't expect it from them, surely the teacher can find another way to get their point across.

@boobirdblue

Lots of people have expressed all sorts of opinions, you're the only one repeatedly flaming (and fictionalizing things I've allegedly said). You have been needlessly hostile throughout the thread.

Oh and the word is 'write'.

I think that it was a bit stupid of the teacher. When I was at school, the teacher used to line you up near the window, pretend to throw a book at you, so you would flinch, and end up hitting your own head against the window frame. Then he used to say, " and I didn't lay a finger on you!". Now that was surely a slightly better tactic? 😉

Your ds and his friends' definition of 'hit' might be very different from yours. He knows he was playing up. I'd leave it.

It wasn't like they were beaten round the head with an edition of encyclopedia Britannica until they were comatose ( though to be fair, it would have shut them up )
My DH would have issued a punishment for being disrespectful toward the teacher. Though it wouldn't have involved smacking him round the bonce.

@NameChange9854 thanks for that, I stand corrected! I was clearly distracted by disruptive chatterboxes in class.

Just for clarity you do not police me! I will respond how I want, when I want and if I want.if o want to respond to OP 500000 times I will.

Got it?

Now I'm not bothering to respond to you now because this isn't your thread!

Fair enough, I hope you get your pound of flesh.