AIBU to let this go, or should I complain about son being 'hit' by a teacher

[narisha99]

So, DS10 was chatting in class today while watching a video (educational, relating to the subject) and was told off twice by the teacher for talking. Fair enough. The third time the teacher hit him on the head with a book!

DS says it was hard, ie more than a tap, but wasn't enough to cause any type of injury. DS wasn't hurt or upset at the time, but was a little embarrassed and did in fact stop talking.

Whilst I don't think the teacher should have done that, its nothing more than I would have done at home, so I am tempted to leave it.

But DH thinks it is totally inappropriate and we should be complaining to the head in the morning.

WWYD?

Has it occurred to you that your son may be lying?

Just bear that in mind before launching into a complaint.

@NameChange9854 perhaps not infer the teachers lessons are boring? How bloody rude and excusing her son is that?

It massively depends on what ‘hit’ means. If it means the teacher jokingly touched them with the book, as if to say - facetiously - if you don’t shut up I’ll whack you with this, then YABU. That’s a joke.

If the teacher actually hit your child, and hurt him, or frightened him (assuming your child is reasonable about what is scary, or isn’t, and the teacher knows that), then YANBU.

It was not a tap with a paperback. It was a hit with hardback, not enough to cause any injury - but not a gentle / light hearted tap

Would you prefer disruptive students to be automatically excluded.?

Genuinely curious, and appreciate that is a side issue....... If my son went to school tomorrow and told a teacher that I had hit him on the head with a book, would the school be obliged to do anything from a safeguarding perspective?

At no point have I defended my sons behavior, I fully accept he shouldn't have been chatting. Though to clarify it was 3 of them whispering at the back - not shouting out - so not quite disrupting the whole class of 30.

So teacher having to stop three times is not a disruption to the rest of the class.... really?

Plus, the teacher probably didn’t want to get the kids into trouble. Sending them to the Head for chatting during a video is technically correct, but some people prefer a less formal response to silly behaviour.

Honestly op I find that hard to believe. Hitting 3 kids with a book on the head sounds far fetched.

Have you heard anything from the other DCs or their parents? At least then you'd know if they're all telling the same story.
If I saw anyone in my house hit someone on the head with a book, I'd give them into massive trouble. It's dangerous to normalise hitting people on the head.
However your DS wasn't hurt or upset. I think I'd make a note of what happened but not report it. Then if there are any recurrences, you have the details of this incident too.

If my son went to school tomorrow and told a teacher that I had hit him on the head with a book, would the school be obliged to do anything from a safeguarding perspective?

Yes. As a teacher, if a child told me you had hit him on the side of the head with a book, then told me nothing else and refused to elaborate, it would concern me and I would be obliged to report it.

If a child told me they were whacked on the head in jest, no, I wouldn’t.

Knowing that it’s a few of them makes this even less likely to be an assault. I can kind of see how someone would get so infuriated they’d whack him and immediately regret it, but three? Nah. Premeditated and in all likelihood a ricocheted bop.

What was the title of the book.

"perhaps not infer the teachers lessons are boring? How bloody rude and excusing her son is that?"
They were watching an educational video. I was a good student but can't pretend I didn't often find educational videos boring. I don't know why you think it's such an appalling slight.

I’d go fucking batshit.

Another arsehole teacher thread.

There's loads of them tonight.

OP, if this is real you need to report it to the DSL immediately. I say that as a teacher.

In my classes it goes like this:

Kid: chatter/light hearted cheekiness
Me: swats kid with book/sheaf of paper
Kid: that’s abuse!!
Me: sue me
Lesson carries on, with laughter on both sides. It’s not discipline, it’s within the context of a positive pupil/teacher relationship.

@NameChange9854 are you seriously saying that being told three times is not twice too much?

Oh ok, you're happy for your child to behave like that fine. Some of us have much higher standards and as parents would rightly be annoyed with them.

I don't believe they were hit hard by a hardback, I just don't believe it.

boobirdblue thank you! I treat the kids as I'd treat my own DC- relationships are key. Ps Only 3 days til summer holidays here in Scotland, so I can recharge for all the new relationships in the autumn!

Does he have concussion?
OP do you really think the teacher would hit 3 boys on the head? I can imagine a tap but not a full whack.

Firstly I would tell my son not to be chatting in class, then I would call the school (teacher direct if I had access) if she had infact "hit" my child on the head I would clearly explain she is not to lay hands, hit or tap my son. If he is not complying with the rules, send him out, give him detention.

A tap to one, becomes a clip around the ear and it goes on and on. Keeps the boundaries simple.

DS says it was hard,
Of course he does
ie more than a tap, but wasn't enough to cause any type of injury. DS wasn't hurt or upset at the time, but was a little embarrassed.
And there you have it. He was made to look a fool in front of his mates so wants to pay the teacher back.
If it was my DC I would assume it was more a mocking air hit / light tap and told them it serves them right for talking.
It was my DH that was making me wonder if I should consider some action, his concern was that the teacher had shown poor judgment and should be other methods of discpline- official warning, demerit, , stand outside the room. sent to head etc
Teacher warned him twice, all other methods involve disrupting the class and stopping teaching all the other kids that ARE behaving, the teacher chose a lighthearted way to get your sons attention. Tell your child to behave then the teacher wouldn’t have to discipline him at all.

Knowing that it’s a few of them makes this even less likely to be an assault. I can kind of see how someone would get so infuriated they’d whack him and immediately regret it, but three? Nah. Premeditated and in all likelihood a ricocheted bop.
^absolutely

@LillithsFamiliar
Have you heard anything from the other DCs or their parents? At least then you'd know if they're all telling the same story.

Yes have been messaging other parents, they are all telling the same story.

I have no reasons to doubt DS's honesty so yes I do believe him.

I have no reasons to doubt DS's honesty so yes I do believe him.

What, that the teacher “hit” him, but it didn’t hurt? Me too.

have no reasons to doubt DS's honesty so yes I do believe him.

Except he's a disrespectful 10 year old..