AIBU to let this go, or should I complain about son being 'hit' by a teacher

[narisha99]

So, DS10 was chatting in class today while watching a video (educational, relating to the subject) and was told off twice by the teacher for talking. Fair enough. The third time the teacher hit him on the head with a book!

DS says it was hard, ie more than a tap, but wasn't enough to cause any type of injury. DS wasn't hurt or upset at the time, but was a little embarrassed and did in fact stop talking.

Whilst I don't think the teacher should have done that, its nothing more than I would have done at home, so I am tempted to leave it.

But DH thinks it is totally inappropriate and we should be complaining to the head in the morning.

WWYD?

Weapon, violence, physical assault, Lord some of the people on this thread love drama. And if you have a word with the teacher, what do you expect them to say, oh yes I bashed your child's brains out because they were talking. What will you achieve? And how do all of you drama llamas manage when you have a real problem?

Would parents prefer teachers who are automatons?

I’m the DSLO - I’ve advised in many, many cases where teachers have been in disciplinary cases. That is not what this is.

Teachers - especially good ones - build robust relationships with their classes, Unless there is a massive drip feed coming, that’s what this is.
No one was hurt
No one was hit
It wasn’t a sanction it was “woah there, don’t take the mick!!”

We used to also have a teacher who used to invite students to go outside into the corridor for a voluntary bollocking. We were in the 6th form. Each week he would invite one of us to stand outside the room whilst he yelled at the top of his voice at us whilst his next class more unruly class lined up outside. Then we would calmly return to the room and be treated to a chocolate. Apparently it kept them in line for the rest of the day!

Why are ppl minimising?

Because the OP said this:

DS says it was hard, ie more than a tap, but wasn't enough to cause any type of injury. DS wasn't hurt or upset at the time, but was a little embarrassed and did in fact stop talking

Ok so we have 3 boys talking in class. Unfortunately they will have collaborate together to say the teacher hit them with the book. Sorry children lie, even nice ones.

The teacher most likely taped them on the head as a reminder to be quite as they where watching a film. Do you know how frustrating it gets repeating the same instructions to children who don't pay attention. It's even more frustrating then try to train a toddler.

If your unsure I'd ask the teacher for clarification on what actually happened. Then tell your child to stop talking in the classroom when he's supposed to be quite.

I would complain

So glad I'm retired. Ex colleagues wish they could get out. Not because of the kids but the awful parents.

Perfect examples of that type of parent on this thread.

I would speak directly to the teacher first. DS sounds like a pain chatting - but it was bad judgment on his part. It might have just been a jokey tap tbh.

Oh and by the way teachers will often touch children with things, rather then actually touch them physically as they aren't supposed to touch them either. So he couldn't say tap them on the shoulder, just in case that's taken the wrong way. You can't win can you.

No one was hit

But they were hit. Unless you’re choosing to torture the English language, they were hit with a book, so they were hit.

I agree SmileEachDay.

It's hard, but doesn't hurt. He's a bit of a chatterbox and has been spoken to 3 times for ignoring simple instructions, but it was only whispering to a couple of people at the back.

Hitting students with a book isn't ok, obviously, but if I was the OP I would reserve judgement before taking the view that 3 students who are mates in trouble must have told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth in a situation where experience says a bit of truth bending is common.

A discussion with the class teacher is the logical response to this.

OP, I'm a clingy, proud, pushy parent. I'm also a teacher. I know, hand on heart that if I was in your position I would NOT complain. Your kid was bopped on the head with a book because they wouldn't shut up. The people saying it's a weapon and assault don't work in a classroom.

We need more effective ways of disciplining disruptive pupils, because the ridiculous, ineffectual sanctions currently available are not working for many. Low level disruption wastes so much time, it used to drive DD up the wall to be in the same class as cocky, gobby lads.

The third time the teacher hit him on the head with a book

Not a tap. He was hit and he said it hurt.

SandyY2K You've completely misquoted the OP there. The actual quote is:

The third time the teacher hit him on the head with a book!

DS says it was hard, ie more than a tap, but wasn't enough to cause any type of injury. DS wasn't hurt or upset at the time, but was a little embarrassed and did in fact stop talking.

Your second sentence completely changes the meaning of the post. Obviously if the child was hit and hurt everyone would suggest a complaint.

The people saying it's a weapon and assault don't work in a classroom.

People saying that don't live on this planet. Classroom or no- bopping a child on the head to get their attention is a normal human interaction.

As it’s nothing more than you would do at home I would suggest there is nothing to complain about. Make your son behave in class and problem will be solved.

sinkgirl ok, if you want to play semantics:

Hit: bring one's hand or a tool or weapon into contact with (someone or something) quickly and forcefully.

It wasn’t forceful, it didn’t hurt at all.

No one was hit.

“DugHug
I’d speak to the head. Under no circumstances should a teacher ever lay a finger on a child. No matter what they’ve done or how many times they’ve ignored instructions.”

I’ve heard this a lot. Actually if teachers weren’t allowed to touch children at all, most schools would be very different, and not in a good way. There’s comforting a distressed or hurt child, there’s politely directing children to queue or move aside. Non verbal signals are often essential in certain conditions and that can involve touching. In more serious situations, most schools have a policy about restraint when necessary (rare, but important). If your child was being attacked by a bully, would you want the teacher to step aside, or intervene? I’ve had to restrain students who are fighting and been taught to do so.

ThePurpleHeffalump
Nobody can win on behaviour and sanctions.

Move seats - That's humiliating and singling them out when it wasn't even them because...

Remove from the room - you can't remove them because they have the right to an education and you're stopping my child from learning (conveniently ignoring how their child was preventing others from learning)

Take time out of break or lunch - You can't so that. My DC needs their break to switch off from lessons and to get fresh air. You giving a lunch detention prevented my child eating (actually it was the final 10 mins of lunch and there's ways to get food pre ordered).

After school detention - I don't give my consent. I have things to do after school and that doesn't mean collecting my child from a detention because some teacher is simultaneously on a power trip dictator mission and also can't control the class. What do you mean that'll go to isolation? I've already told you I don't consent.

Isolation - You want my child to sit in a classroom all day and work silently without disrupting other children learning. Im going to Ofsted because you're removing their human rights by forcing them into solitary confinement.

Whatever a school does, there's always an argument from someone somewhere who thinks a rule doesn't apply to their child.

Ok so we have 3 boys talking in class.
Unfortunately they will have collaborate together to say the teacher hit them with the book.

Which is why an investigation would take place and statements would be taken from other pupils in the class.

Of course the teacher will minimise, but in a couple of cases I've had...if 6/7 other pupils not involved with the incident give a similar account to the child involved... the independent investigator has taken their account as the more likely version on the balance of probability.

Gone are the days of assuming children always lie...it's about corroborating the allegations made.

I've seen CCTV footage of such incidents in disciplinary cases and quite honestly, you can't necessarily tell how hard the hit was...but you see the child was hit or pulled.... that leaves the teacher wide open and doesn't look good for them .... Their professionalism gets called into question... it's madness to risk your career like this.

boo

Physical punishment........ a tap on the head by a book? Let's be honest that's what it was, the same way you'd tap your own child to stop them doing something.

I taught for 10 years and didn't need to touch my students with my hands or anything else to maintain order in my classroom. Please explain how it isn't physical punishment when it involved touching them physically. Even a "tap" on the head is pretty disrespectful, the teacher would need to be extremely sure of having a very positive relationship with a child to do that.

Let's be honest there badly behaved 10 year olds who are being told for the third time on one lesson we're tapped on the head..... you believe that IP/ child is whiter than white, wouldn't do a thing wrong or exaggerate. I don't he sounds like hard bloody work.

I never at any point commented on the child. Please read my posts properly. He wasn't doing anything dangerous, so there was no need to touch him.

This is something over nothing. Tell your son to obey class rules. Teachers have bogger things to worry about

This is not ok. I would complain.

As it’s nothing more than you would do at home I would suggest there is nothing to complain about

It might be normal in your home, but it's wrong to assume you know how what happens in other households.

I've never, nor will I ever hit my child on the head, no matter what they did.