do you say thank you, or gesture your appreciation, if a vehicle stops to allow you to cross the

[EleanorReally]

crossing?
some eejit yelled at me, after he let me cross,
Could have said thank you.
i'm shy
I dont necessary thank drivers,
its in the highway code surely?

I always do

As a driver I always notice if people are appreciative or just saunter across all entitled (and slow as if to prove their entitlement)

If they're on a crossing they are entitled to use it without scurrying.

Yes always. Regardless of the Highway Code, I always acknowledge drivers by either mouthing a thank you, or putting my hand up to say thanks. Being shy is no excuse for rudeness. And yes, if I was in a particularly bad mood then I’d probably shout something passive aggressive out the window because rudeness just makes my blood boil. It takes no time at all to be polite.

I think most people have experienced that frustrating moment when they have stopped to let a driver out or a pedestrian and they haven’t even so much as looked in the direction of the car that stopped for you. It’s rude and leaves me feeling like I wish I’d carried on driving because if others cba with politeness then why should I??

I think YWBU. It’s basic manners to say thank you.

I posted similarly a while back and got loads of sarcastic responses saying “Why should I say TY to a driver who has to stop at a zebra crossing?” Odd.

Pedestrian I put my hand up to say thank you to the driver(s) who have let me cross. Driver I do quick flash of my lights if it's dark or during the day I do a quick wave of the hand. HGV drivers get a thumbs up and a wave of the hand if I let them out or they let me out. For those who don't thank me when I stop to let them out or cross get a sarcastic your welcome usually to the Dwayne Johnson song shot at them

Always. I dropped ds off at school a few weeks back, waited at the crossing for about 15 6th formers to cross, everyone single one of them waved their hands in thanks.

Driver I do quick flash of my lights if it's dark

Please don't. Maybe it's something that gets worse with age but being dazzled is not a nice 'thank you' - however well-intentioned.

Lights - usually, zebra crossing or just letting me cross the road - of course. It is just polite to acknowledge. Smile, hand raise, easy done and both sides go away happy. As a driver I wouldn't shout at someone who didn't. If a fellow driver didn't acknowledge me letting them out I'll usually shout "you're fucking welcome" to myself.

when she says she feels too shy to wave.

She manages to do it when not crossing at a zebra crossing so clearly shyness isn't the problem.

I absolutely hate it when people stop to let me cross the road, it's forcing me to cross when I would rather wait until I felt it was safe to cross

Half asleep, just read again and realised you meant at a crossing, no I wouldn't say thank you, you wouldn't if it was another driver at a red light

I usually don’t if it’s a pedestrian crossing. Why would you thank someone for simply obeying the law (and not ruthlessly mowing you down with a motor vehicle I suppose).

I would if I was just randomly crossing the street and someone stopped to let me cross, because then they’re actually doing something to help.

I don't understand why people who are so horrified by rudeness will be very rude themselves with all this shouting 'You're Welcome' business, especially at a crossing where they are legally obliged to stop anyway.

@insancerre No I dont thank drivers for following the law

Would you thank the surgeon who carried out an 8 hour life saving operation on you. After all, it's their legal obligation to try and save you, and what's more, they are getting well paid for it.

You can tell an awful lot about someone's true character by the way they treat people who do stuff for them that they are obligated to do. Shop assistants, waiters and waitresses etc.

I have a feeling you and I would not be friends in real life.

I sometimes do the hand wave, I'm much more likely to if I've been waiting a while! I too am shy. I get grumpy when I let other cars merge in front and they don't thank me, but pedestrians at a crossing? It's law to stop. If they are crossing as a random point and I've let them go they should probably thank but I don't expect it at a crossing and shouting at you is far more rude than not thanking in my opinion!

And yes, if I was in a particularly bad mood then I’d probably shout something passive aggressive out the window because rudeness just makes my blood boil

@WillowPeach - don't you see the hypocrisy in your conduct? You have manners, you are always polite but if someone dares not to acknowledge you in the way you expect, then you'll bellow out of the window at them. How is that not rude?

Usually yes because it’s the kind of situation where you make eye contact to check that they are going to stop, and it’s friendly.

However, I don’t feel obligation to say thanks if I clearly have right of way.

Similarly I don’t flash thanks to the other drivers when I have a green light.

The driver in the OP’s example was rude and a bit strange.

If your self esteem can’t handle the fact that strangers are sometimes too distracted to acknowledge your presence, your problem is not other people’s manners.

Teacake, I agree. I'd judge somebody far more for shouting "You're welcome" than for not saying thank you. I hate passive aggressive rudeness.

I would usually say thank you but I think most people don't and as a driver I don't expect a thank you. Would you thank someone who stopped at a red light pedestrian crossing too?

And to all the people sneering at the OP for being shy; you clearly have no understanding of shyness or social anxiety; a simple gesture, like raising your hand, can be difficult for some people. I'm not shy but my DD is and she would struggle with this. Instead of being nasty, try to have some compassion and understanding that not everybody is the same and some people find things difficult that you consider easy.

Spot on, merrymouse

Yes, it's nice to thank motorists for stopping on a crossing, but a lot of drivers need to get away from the idea that they are doing pedestrians a favour by letting them onto 'their' road. Pedestrians are road users as well!
Some of the comments on here from both motorists and pedestrians are infuriating and depressing.

People should not have to scurry across the road on a crossing. And yes, they are entitled to saunter across at their usual walking pace, it doesn't make them entitled!

We have had comments suggesting people should be grateful, for being allowed to cross!

Quick thank you, yes of course. Just like when someone hands you your change or you hop off a bus.

Basic manners and courtesy. Nothing to do with being shy and everything to do with being rude not to do so.

In Sainsburys yesterday an impatient woman stood in front of my car and put up her hand to stop my car whilst her husband reversed. She did not indicate any thanks. That was plain rude.

If it is not a zebra, jyst crossing in the middle of the road willy nilly of course I smile and wave

So how come you're not too shy to say thank you then, Eleanor?

So you're ok to say thanks when you're jay walking?

Wouldn't shout at you but I'd think you were rude.