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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents want inheritance back

862 replies

NeededtoNC · 25/06/2019 00:21

Ten years ago, my parents decided to gift me and my brother 100k each as early inheritance within the 7 year period.

With that I bought a house (with a mortgage). Still have 15 years left on the mortgage.

Now our parents want the inheritance back because they have decided they want to buy a summer home abroad.

DB is in a position to be able to as he’s well off.
However I am not and I’m barely able to keep up with the mortgage payments as it is.

In order to give back the money I’d need to sell. My parents are aware of this and have said that if I need help to pay rent, they’ll give it to me. But they want the lump sum in order to buy their holiday home.

AIBU to not give it to them?

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 25/06/2019 07:47

Absolutely cheeky sods definitely refuse to give it to them, they are totally selfish and out of order to even ask.

Bwekfusth · 25/06/2019 07:47

Your parents sound fucking awful.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 25/06/2019 07:47

Christ! I thought my family was dysfunctional.
Tell them to rent a holiday home, loads of long term rentals for not a lot of money.
They are bonkers, your relationship is buggered anyway so make sure you keep your house or you are likely to end up with nothing.

UnderTheTree · 25/06/2019 07:48

Absolute no!

What happened if you wasted the money on holidays, cars, private education, food, fancy TVs / home entertainment / kitchen appliances / technology etc and other luxury or frivolous items. Then they wouldn't be getting any money!

QueenBeee · 25/06/2019 07:48

I wonder how they will pay for care Home fees if they have little savings now. I don't think there will be a future inheritance because of care costs so I would hang onto that one.

NomDeQwerty · 25/06/2019 07:49

I'd really like to but I can't.
On a loop.

Tuktuktaker · 25/06/2019 07:50

*I just can't believe that anyone would do this to their child for a holiday home - life-saving surgery not available on the NHS, maybe - but for THIS?

Please don't agree to this.*
^^
This.

BogglesGoggles · 25/06/2019 07:50

Your parents sound horrible. Imagine giving someone a huge sum of money which they plan their finances on and then years later demanding it back so that you can buy a holiday home even though it would completely disrupt the giftee’s life. Now imagine doing that to your child.

mummmy2017 · 25/06/2019 07:50

Was there any paperwork with this money?

MaudeLynne · 25/06/2019 07:50

Do not sell your home. Do not expect any more money from inheritance - it can/will be frittered away on 'bad business' or given to your brother. Keep your home as your inheritance now.

They may live for another 20 years, and any 'contribution to your rent' could stop after 5. Do not sell your home, do not engage in conversation about it, you need to go forward with your life, bit backwards.

notabitfit · 25/06/2019 07:51

Sounds like they don't much care about you anyway OP if they'd let you sell your home.

Say no and stick to it and if it comes to a fall out then it's their loss.

Pinkyyy · 25/06/2019 07:51

I feel so bad for you OP, what an awful situation to be put in. It just goes to show that they never really gifted it to you, they've always still seen it as their money. How a parent could sleep at night in their fancy home overseas, knowing that it put their child out of her house, is beyond me.

LorelaiRoryEmily · 25/06/2019 07:51

What the actual fuck?! Op that is awful. Just say no. And keep saying it.

Juells · 25/06/2019 07:51

HRTFT
When I was little we had a skipping rhyme that suited.
Give a thing and take it back
God will ask you why is that
If you tell him you don't know
God will send you down below

Horrible thing to do to your child, give money then demand it back years later.

Miniloso · 25/06/2019 07:52

A straight NO will suffice.

pepperpot99 · 25/06/2019 07:52

Do NOT sell. Your parents are telling you'you'll get the money in the end' but they don't know this do they? what if it's all consumed on care home fees or similar? plus they are clearly untrustworthy.

They are crazy as well as deeply malicious for requesting the money back. They have zero legal or moral entitlement to it and this is what you need to remember, OP. Do not sell. You will be entering years of worry, insecurity and you will blame - rightly - your parents for making you that way.

They don't have a legal leg to stand on.

I could not imagine doing something so awful to my own dc. Sad.

Good luck OP.

Nanny0gg · 25/06/2019 07:52

Your relationship is already over, there's no going back from this

Say No and send them equity release info.
It's perfect for this situatikn

DeepDarkWoods · 25/06/2019 07:52

Please dont sell your home. You say you are worried about your relationship with them but i dont think you will have one if you give them your money. They will be abroad most of the time and you will be stuck trying to cover your rent.

MrsBertBibby · 25/06/2019 07:53

The planet and most local economies really need people not to have extra houses so you're doing us all a favour by stopping the greedy bloated hogs.

They haven't a leg to stand on. If they genuinely think this is a demand they can make without destroying your relationship, they will understand that you can decline without destroying your relationship.

Although why anyone would want to maintain a relationship with such people beats me.

Disfordarkchocolate · 25/06/2019 07:54

I feel for you OP because this has further damaged what seems like a very poor relationship.

Don't torture yourself over this, the facts are simple as you cannot do this without being made homeless. Nobody should make themselves homeless so someone else can have a holiday home.

Say no, read the book on toxic parents that I see recommended all the time on here.

Ghostontoast · 25/06/2019 07:55

With Brexit looming which means less rights to settlement and healthcare in other EU countries not to mention the really poor exchange rate ( £ = 1.11 € ), I think they are nuts considering the move for those reasons let alone being nuts to ask for their “gift” back!

ineedaholidaynow · 25/06/2019 07:57

I am assuming you wouldn’t have been able to get a mortgage if the £100k was a loan not a gift.

Do not sell your house. It is unfortunate that they are not as financially well off as they used to be, but that is not your problem. That is a risk you take if you start giving away your money early. It’s also not as if they are destitute.

diddl · 25/06/2019 07:57

So they want to buy a holiday home?

They're not homeless & destitute?

I'm guessing that they can't downsize?

Iris1654 · 25/06/2019 07:57

Do you really believe that they are buying a holiday home?

I think that they have just run out of cash and regret giving you both the money.

They made poor choices with the business investment and unfortunately they have to live with that.

I would say no, I’m really sorry but it was a gift and I’ve built my life accordingly.

yoursworried · 25/06/2019 07:58

Whaaaat? They'd see you sell your home to give them their money back? I would just ignore this you can't take a gift back a decade later that's madness