Parents want inheritance back

[NeededtoNC]

Ten years ago, my parents decided to gift me and my brother 100k each as early inheritance within the 7 year period.

With that I bought a house (with a mortgage). Still have 15 years left on the mortgage.

Now our parents want the inheritance back because they have decided they want to buy a summer home abroad.

DB is in a position to be able to as he’s well off.
However I am not and I’m barely able to keep up with the mortgage payments as it is.

In order to give back the money I’d need to sell. My parents are aware of this and have said that if I need help to pay rent, they’ll give it to me. But they want the lump sum in order to buy their holiday home.

AIBU to not give it to them?

Answer: No its impossible. Why don't you they ask your DB for a loan and cut u out of their will with your blessing.
Odd without knowing the family dynamics
Have a sneaking suspicion it was thought of as a tax dodge but they have now done a 180 on you.
I would be very reluctant to give up your house

Also, if you gifted it back and then they later wished to regift it, they would need to remain alive for 7years otherwise you could get saddled with a tax bill. Same with them leaving you money in their will (assuming that they don't spend it/need it for care home fees). Also, do they really want to saddle you with selling their holiday home abroad and having to deal with all their possessions etc if they pass away and still own it?

If they take the money back then it could all go paying for their care home fees when/if they become incapacitated.

I'd refuse and say that it was a gift in lieu of inheritance. They can easily rent a summer home using the rent they'll be getting on their uk home.

If you sell up and start renting then it's highly likely you'll never be able to afford to buy another home and will be renting for the rest of your life. There is a good chance you'll get no inheritance if you return the money as they're highly likely to have to use that money to pay for a care home when older.

Wow they're unreasonable! Assuming they weren't under the illusion it was a loan and don't desperately need the money (and I wouldn't class wanting a holiday home as a 'need')

My DM and DSF gave me and DP an amount and we did the same as you, put it towards a mortgage for our first home. The solicitor made them sign a letter stating it was a loan and that they wouldn't be asking for it back. Did yours do similar? Think that's quite standard when they're doing their money laundering checks. So your DMs can't claim that they thought it was a loan I don't think.

Also, just to reiterate what everyone else has said, you really don't want to be selling your home and going into rented, especially now with the economy so uncertain and rents going up all the time (if your area is anywhere like ours, you won't be able to rent something remotely similar to what you own as rents are so much higher than mortgage payments, plus if you have kids I assume you need to be near their school etc.)

Your parents don't sound very good with money tbh! As well as very cavalier regarding your future, I wouldn't want to be depending on them for rent money if I were you.

OP, your parents are very unreliable - how can you be sure that if you sell your house they will help you with rent? They might change their mind again.

You can’t trust them and that’s the problem here. I wouldn’t give them the money back, and if that means falling out it’s on their head. Not your fault as anybody will tell you.

By the way, when I read the title of your post, I had this image of parents rising from the dead asking for their house back!

They wanted to avoid paying inheritance tax by gifting you the cash and they achieved it. If they weren’t so keen to (legally) diddle the taxman they’d still have the cash. You reap what you sow.

YANBU.

Your db and parents sound like a right bunch of arseholes. YANBU, Say absolutley no..you will not be seliing your home!!! Please don't do it, for the love of god!

*a letter stating it was a GIFT that should say

I agree with jonSnow above, I wouldn't trust them to keep their promise to pay your rent (and that's even without the possibility that they might not be able to for some reason) Plus it keeps you bound to them and their game playing. Bad idea.

I am in shock! So many question! When did they give you the money? How old are they? U? (If you don’t mind me asking) Have u been for legal advice? I’d be asking somebody to write something down that says where it all stands legally so you don’t have to crumble to the emotional rathe that hey are putting you through. They really should have thought about that before gifting it to u both.

If your brother is wealthy (not sure how wealthy) like someone suggested earlier, can he not afford to give both back and the will have that factored in? I mean if you’ll get it when they die, why not just switch it up legally to allow everyone to get/keep what they want/need? Surely it’s better to have discussed their wishes/dreams before just asking for it back!

In simple terms u don’t give it back. I’m sure when folk divorce etc and there’s property, finances if someone earns more and the other hadn’t works or whatever, legally it can’t just be a straight forward “that was mine and I want it back!” Kind of deal?!

This thread has made me wonder if this is a common occurrence... most people I know that own had some kind of help from family: imagine if they all starting asking for it back 10 years down the line!

This seems to be the wrong way round.

Normally is is parents that are willing to sacrifice almost everything to allow their children to have a good future.

Good luck in finding a way to say no OP.

*own houses

I'd be interested to know what they said to you at the time of giving the money?

They decided to ‘give’ you an early inheritance not ‘gift’ you it.
Think of it this way: they decided to give you the gift of an early inheritance. Gift is a noun. I’m not sure when this habit of saying gift instead of give started but I’d like to ‘gift’ people some English lessons.
Your parents are being unreasonable.

ruthboros gift is probably used as OPs parents would, as part of the mortgage agreement, have had to write and sign a statement saying that they gift them money or stating it's a gift. It requires the specific use of the word gift.

If everyone’s parents gave their children money towards a house that simply increases the house price by a similar amount and there is no net benefit other than to the house builders and government.

Do they really want to buy a holiday home or are they worse off than they want to admit to? Either way, it's very unfair of them to ask for the money back. They have 100k from your brother so they are just going to have to find somewhere cheap.

I wouldn't give it to them..maybe offer to pay monthly something so it doesn't seem you're being selfish or ungrateful but you are not in a position to move. You are settled and that is actually your home...you dont have the luxury of getting a holiday home. And sorry but neither do your parents. They should've thought about this when they gifted the money. You cannot ask for a gift back! surely they would want to see you happy and enjoy the money they GIFTED you while they're alive!?

YANBU.

You say your brother is wealthy...could he not pay them the rest of the money and then your parents pay him back monthly as they would've done for your rent?

This is terrible. That money was gifted to you. If there was nothing drawn up with a solicitor then there's nothing they can do.
My dad gifted me a very large sum too, our solicitor explained to him that once it was done he would have no way to get it back again etc.
The main awful part of your situation is the fact that your all going to fall out over this, maybe permanently. I really feel for you

If your brother is giving them 100k, they can take plenty of fabulous holidays with that. No need to buy a property and all the crap that entails.

I think that legally they don’t have a leg to stand on because presumably they did that in order to avoid inheritance tax? (40% gift/inheritance tax)

Morally is another matter. Of course you would if you could? But you can’t. I think they’re being irresponsible here in requesting it back if it was a gift. Knowing full well the implications?

In order to not fall out over money, I think you can be honest with them & tell them that if you could borrow such an amount, you would but you know that the last thing they want is to see you on the street due to being unable to keep up payments & hence ‘no-can-do?’

If your brother is giving them 100k, they can take plenty of fabulous holidays with that. No need to buy a property and all the crap that entails.

That's true. If they are thinking about inheritance I presume that they are quite elderly and probably will only be able to travel for a few more years anyway. They could have loads of nice holidays in that time with 100k.

Totally unrealistic to expect you to sell up you are free from inheritance tax now.. Well tell them that even if you sold the house after you have taken the increase in value they won’t be getting 100,000 left in the sale with estate agent fees etc etc etc. It was a gift and now a days you have to confirm it’s a gift to get a mortgage, don’t know what it was like 10 years ago.
Getting money later on when house prices have gone up might not get you a house then.

This seems very unfair! Are you sure your parents do actually want the money back in order to buy a holiday home? They’re not covering up financial problems or anything?
Also I was wondering what your brother thinks of you both being asked to return your inheritance?

I assume if you are on MN then you have kids. Do thy really want you to put their grandchildren through a move out of their home into a rental? That’s shocking. If brother is so flush, can’t he co-sign a mortgage for them, paid out of renting out their home here? Ot p up their home here as collateral against the mortgage? Or why not sell their home here to buy abroad and then rent here themselves? It’s crazy they think it’s ok to ask for this back when there are numerous options that will not destabilize your family.