To feel envious of people that can afford holidays?

[Ella1980]

I'm a full-time TA and my fiancé works in social care ft. Just feel so sad that we can't afford to take the kids away. Ex earns £105k+ pa so at least they'll get a holiday with him. Anybody else in a similar position? It just feels so unfair but I feel selfish for feeling jealous of not getting a break with the family 😢

TheBossOfMe, great post. I hope the op reads it and uses it constructively.

Excellent post thebossofme I hope the OP reads it

Ref buying property
Depending on where you live
Some properly has been increasing in price more than 20% per year. But savings & wages have not increased by that much

Can't one have expensive holidays in the UK?!!!

OMG OP IT DOESN"T MATTER WHAT EXPENSIVE HOLIDAYS HE'S GOING ON!!!

I mean as I much as I understand how you feel, you can't have everything in life can you?

It's not fair that my sister who works double the hours I do has a million pound flat and I don't? to some extent, you get what you work for, at least one should hope

Do you always miss the point quite so spectacularly????

Sorry, that was to the OP, not to you, rubrius!

@TheBossOfMe let's go find a brick wall?

I'd love to hear OP's ExH's view of the situation

Why not do private tutoring if you're a qualified teacher? I pay a fortune for it and loads of others do too! I don't know where you are but £40 an hour is not unusual depending on subject and level.

@HarrysOwl - the brick wall might have more sense.

@TheBossOfMe your post and spot on advice might have been wasted on the OP but someone else will find comfort in it.

Some are beyond help, until if they can see it for themselves.

@TheBossOfMe has spelt it out very well.

If you'd read previous threads before passing comment, it was in answer to quite a few posters who had said things like this:

How does your ex take them on flashy holidays if he can't fly?

So it's me finding the brick wall actually.

This is boring the face off me now, do you never take any good advice OP? You’ve got a hard life ahead of you if you can’t see that you are part of the problem here.

It really isn't, Ella. You don't seem able to comprehend any of the very useful advice people have taken time to give you on this thread. You just keep bleating on about flashy holidays and woe is me, rather than doing anything to help either yourself or your poor DCs. I feel truly sorry for them.

OK I'll leave the thread. Fed up with people suggesting things I've already actioned time and time again eg go to court, see a counsellor, get son appt etc. I've done all of that. And didn't come on here to get a load of verbal or nasty comments. But thank you to those of you who perhaps do have some understanding of the impact of narcissistic control. It's really not as simple as "just get over yourself".

Ella, your ExH isn't going to give you any more money. You're not with him now. You have joint custody so his salary and his holidays aren't any of your business.

You've been camping, you have thousands in the bank, a job you love and a fiance you blindly love.

Why isn't all that enough?

Tell me how I can "help my poor dcs" and I'll tell you I've tried it. It's the legal system that's the problem. They do not recognise control. Yes I should have stayed until he'd hit me. Biggest regret.

No, you should have stayed in counselling until you have control back. And paid for your DS to go into counselling as well.

But you just crack on seeing yourself as a helpless victim. It won't bring you anything but misery, IMO.

That's the point, you can't control a narcissist!!! No amount of conselling will "give control back" as courts make the custody decision ultimately. Son being seen so hopefully he'll be brave enough to find his voice.

But you keep missing the point! This thread is so frustrating

I’m astounded that the OP has absolutely no insight as to how she comes across. Do you always believe everyone else is wrong This thread is exhausting.
Excellent post from thebossofme.