Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give ds the benefit of the doubt and believe him

157 replies

IonlySMOKEwhenIMonFiRE · 24/06/2019 15:07

Ds’s girlfriend is 11 weeks pregnant, they are both 17 and although when they found out about the pregnancy there were lots of tears and reality checks they have decided to go through with the pregnancy.

2 weeks ago it came to light that ds ex-girlfriend is pregnant and she is claiming that ds is the father, ds is still friends with his ex and he has now admitted staying over at her parents house with her a few times but he is denying sleeping with her.

His girlfriend has ended the relationship with him because of this and refuses to answer any of his calls so he decided to give her some space in the hope that she would calm down and speak to him.

He went out with his friends on Saturday night and his girlfriend phoned me in tears because someone sent her a snapchat of ds kissing his friends cousin and she said she’s also heard that he slept with the cousin, I was furious and when ds got home I questioned him about it and he denied it all and told me that I either believe him or stay out of his personal life.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 24/06/2019 15:32

I would bet my house that your son is the father of both babies AND slept with the other woman too.

He has a real nerve telling you to stay out of his business. Those poor young women are paying a high price now and he just blithely moves on to the next one.

TheQueef · 24/06/2019 15:33

He'd be better served getting a good enough job to pay for his potential kids than snogging. I would be reading the riot act not giving him the benefit.

WhiteLightTrainWreck · 24/06/2019 15:34

I would support the girlfriend and listen to your son, but I wouldn't take anything he says at face value right now.
He also needs to be told that while under your roof, his personal life is kind of your business, especially with 2 potential babies, a possible 3rd sexual partner and one of the girls calling you.

AryaStarkWolf · 24/06/2019 15:34

If he wants you to stay out of his personal life then he needs to move out really

AdoreTheBeach · 24/06/2019 15:35

I spoke my son about safe sex. Always wear a condom - for birth control and for his own health. Same things for my daughters - birth control pills and confirms. I used to buy them for them too not wanting them to “forget” to buy them and have handy. Suggest something similar for your son who clearly can’t keep it in his pants.

bigbeans · 24/06/2019 15:36

Wow.
There is no way my DS would be getting the benefit of the doubt here.

And he said to you to either believe him or stay out of his private life??!

Yea. He's lying. He was snogging the third girl.

S1naidSucks · 24/06/2019 15:38

And he said to you to either believe him or stay out of his private life??!

Yea. He's lying.

This, with bells on!

VivienneHolt · 24/06/2019 15:40

Whether or not he shagged his cousin is fairly immaterial - you’re still going to need to support the girl whose baby you know is his, and if I were you I would be getting a dna test on the other baby in case that’s his too. Your son doesn’t sound trustworthy from what you’ve said so I wouldn’t take his word in respect of whether he slept with the other girl.

And please, please have a word with your reckless son about contraception because these days when condoms are plentiful and free in multiple places there is no excuse for him fathering potentially two babies at the age of 17.

December2019 · 24/06/2019 15:40

OP your son is going to get a harsh reality check when he has potentially 3 kids by 3 different girls at the age of 17... I would be tying it in a knot if that was my DS
As as for saying keep out of his personal life, let's see if he's saying the same in 9 months time

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 24/06/2019 15:40

Tbf the contraception suggestions are rather closing the door after the horse has bolted.. (Not that I disagree he should have used condoms, just that it doesn’t help OP now.)

TheFairyCaravan · 24/06/2019 15:40

Your son is behaving horrendously. He'd get the benefit of a strong talking to from me. I'd bet that he is the father of the baby with his ex girlfriend too.

You need to get him to understand what he's doing before he's got numerous kids before he's 20.

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/06/2019 15:42

Hmm Maybe he’ll score a hat trick by the end of the month.

SherlockSays · 24/06/2019 15:43

Your safe sex talks clearly went well with him.. is he so bloody ignorant that he thinks he can have unprotected sex with (potentially) 3 girls and there not be any consequences?

They all best get themselves to an STD clinic too, who knows what he's passing around.

Not sure my 17 year old would be leaving the house anymore - he certainly wouldn't be getting money etc. From me.

Oblomov19 · 24/06/2019 15:43

You son has possibly fathered 2 children, and snogged a third girl? At 17? Oh dear!
Why are you giving HIM the benefit of the doubt? Hmm

Woody68 · 24/06/2019 15:45

What did the girls think was happening about contraception?

Macca84 · 24/06/2019 15:47

Whether or not he shagged his cousin is fairly immaterial

Eh?? Where does it imply he shagged his cousin? Hmm

mummmy2017 · 24/06/2019 15:48

He is being defensive, yes he is guilty.
At his age he has no idea that 18 years of child support is a killer.

ShitAtScarbble · 24/06/2019 15:49

Which one got pregnant at the Log Cabin overnighter that you lied to the parents about?

GreenJar · 24/06/2019 15:49

Please talk to your son about proper contraception. Fathering two children by two different women at the age of 17 is not great...

I'd believe the girlfriend. Why would she make that up? It seems far more believable that your son is lying to you because he's been caught out than his girlfriend making up this whole thing for no reason.

Whathappenedtooursummer · 24/06/2019 15:49

Do you know any farmers? They know how to do a quick castration......
Your ds needs to listen to you. He is messing around and the repercussions will be arriving at your door. In the shape of irate dps or young girls pushing prams!!
Very much your business.

Nesssie · 24/06/2019 15:50

Which one got pregnant at the Log Cabin overnighter that you lied to the parents about? oooohhhh I think I'll get the popcorn...

VivienneHolt · 24/06/2019 15:52

Tbf the contraception suggestions are rather closing the door after the horse has bolted.. (Not that I disagree he should have used condoms, just that it doesn’t help OP now.)

Plenty more horses could bolt yet - at this rate OP’s son is going to have a football team on his hands next year.

Eh?? Where does it imply he shagged his cousin?

Sorry, misread! Whether or not he shagged his friend’s cousin is immaterial is what I meant (unless he gets her pregnant too).

S1naidSucks · 24/06/2019 15:54

ShitAtScarbble

Oh oh. So this is a golden son. Now mummy in denial makes sense.

SoupDragon · 24/06/2019 15:55

Oooooh, the Log Cabin poster you say...?

NewFoneWhoDis · 24/06/2019 15:56

Ahhh the plot thickens...

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.