would you have your wedding on your birthday as a twin?

[Zipliner]

my fiancé suggested that we have our wedding on my birthday and i am excited over this...
but my twin feels its unfair as our birthday would no longer take prominence within the family
if you were a twin would you consider this or should i just give this idea up?

You will end up not celebrating your anniversary, after the first year family won't be bothered (until 25th) anyway, it's you who looses out

Are you really this selfish or is this a reverse

I’d personally love to spend my birthday at a wedding especially if it was close family

Are you a twin? You might love to spend one birthday at a wedding, but unless you're a twin you just won't understand how nice it is to not have to share.

Every birthday, every exam result, every school year. Joint presents, joint parties, the list goes on.

Sharing one birthday with a wedding isn't the end of the world. However, for a twin who has had to share with another person for their entire life, making them share another big event seems selfish beyond words.

What if all your family decide to skip the wedding and spend the day with your sister, celebrating her 40th?

After all, the birthday was on the calendar well in advance of the wedding (40 years ahead, in fact).

It all just sounds like a lot of uneccesary drama.

A previous poster said the OP wasn't bothered about getting married on her birthday, and the twin didn't want her to do it anyway so what's the actual issue?

If neither of them particuarly want the wedding to take place on their 40th birthday why are they even still arguing about it?

From one twin to another picking your bday as your wedding day sounds like competitive twin BS - pick another day.

That doesn’t mean I can’t consider adults who make such a fuss about their birthdays precious.

I think even someone who doesn't care much about birthdays would be miffed in the twin's shoes. I don't make a fuss of my birthday, never want a party, generally do something low key with DP and DSis. However I would be pissed off if someone tried to make be a maid of honour and have me running around after her on my 40th birthday. It's the principle of it. I like to be able to choose what I do on my birthday, especially a big one like that. Not to mention all the future milestones. The OP is making it all about her.

It’s just a birthday- she’s not 8 years old anymore.

It's her bloody 40th though

Yabcu
You are being completely unreasonable

What about getting married on HIS birthday?

I think even someone who doesn't care much about birthdays would be miffed in the twin's shoes. I don't make a fuss of my birthday, never want a party, generally do something low key with DP and DSis. However I would be pissed off if someone tried to make be a maid of honour and have me running around after her on my 40th birthday

Honestly I wouldn’t mind in the slightest.

Different strokes and all that.

Honestly I wouldn’t mind in the slightest.

Good for you. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with feeling pissed off in this situation, it's a perfectly natural reaction.

No, this is not kind. It's your wedding day, but how can your sister celebrate her birthday if she's at your wedding, especially such an 'important' birthday?

From one twin to another picking your bday as your wedding day sounds like competitive twin BS - pick another day.

Agreed. sounds like you want to hurt her/overshadow her? Is she married? Are you jealous that you are marrying late?

OP, are you the younger twin who has always felt overshadowed? That's about the only reason I can imagine for you wanting to take over your twin sister's 40th birthday despite her objections.

I have a twin brother and my husband and I share the same birthday.We also got married on our birthday.So we have everything on the one day .We are now married 23 years .Its never been a problem as if my DH isn't there as he travels a lot I can celebrate with my twin brother!

if my DH isn't there as he travels a lot I can celebrate with my twin brother!
How does your brother feel about being on standby?

DuMondeB

If you fiancé wants fewer dates to remember, get married on his birthday.

Why don't you suggest this OP? I'm sure your fiancé would love it...

Your sister might have plans; she might want to go on holiday, or have a party with her friends, you'd be stealing all choice of how she celebrates her birthday away from her because she'd be obliged to attend your wedding instead.

My Mother wouldn't recommend it as her birthday is forever tinged with sadness as my Dad has passed away.

Unless you're getting married as a child or on say your 21st or 30th I can't see why your twin would be upset.

@itwouldtakemorethanthis Obviously we must think very differently.That has never been my attitude or his response .He is not on standby .He travels a lot too so we all get together to celebrate our birthday when we can.There has never been any animosity whatsoever. We all get on like a house on fire , birthday or not.

OMG no OP! Why are you even considering this? Is your wedding really worth risking a falling out with your own twin? Your twin is unhappy with the choice, so choose another day. It's that simple. I agree with PP's suggestion of getting married on your DP's birthday if it's that important to have the wedding on someone's birthday.

Odd thing to do.

I think it would be a bit odd to choose to get married on your birthday, but if you wanted to and your twin didn't mind, then that would be fine. However, your twin does mind, and it's her 40th birthday.... Do you not like her very much?!

I feel like all the 'get married on your DP's birthday' 'witty' responses are missing the point - presumably the sole merit of this date isn't that it's the OP's birthday. I would guess it's a Saturday, and maybe in the time of year they want. In my case we wanted a Saturday in the school summer holiday, and not the last one of the holiday, so my birthday was one of five possible dates we'd consider (and, as it happened, the only one that the church which was a non-negotiable part of the day could do). Getting married on DH's midweek birthday in February wasn't exactly an equivalent option...

I still don't think OP should do it, but I think it's more likely that the conversation went 'how about May? Oh, that's close to your birthday. Unless...' than 'why don't we get married on your birthday, just to really piss your sister right off?'