I want to go grey, but DH says no!

[KindleAndCake]

Who is being unreasonable?
I'm in my 40's and fed up of the constant dying of my hair. I've said I'm going to stop, but he says no. He really doesn't want me to. I've pointed out that he is going grey, but it seems it's one rule for him, and all that.

Out of interest, does constant dying your hair make it go grey quicker?

bing. “As a pp said, if a woman is applying for a job, (who is only 35-ish, to early to mid 40s,) and she has her natural grey hair; any prospective employer would possibly think that she doesn't care about her appearance, so will wonder if she will care about the job if she gets it”

But that is insane! If they don’t apply that judgment to men, why apply it to a woman? And if the woman is smart at interviews, why would grey hair matter?

Grey hair isn’t a sign of age - many many people go grey in their teens, as I did.

Nearly 20 years of dye and now, at 35, I’m growing it out. I’m sick of the upkeep. Loads of time and money wasted doing roots only for them to appear 2 weeks later.

I’m around 10 months in and I bloody love it so far. The streaks of grey look amazing with my eyes and skin tone. I’m excited for it to be fully grown out.

Oh, and DH has been fully supportive!

Also, I think that awful, blockish, mid Brown all over box dye that so many women aged 45-65 seem to have is far more ageing than a natural grey.

I don't know WHY some women on here have such a huge problem with other women making an effort with their looks, dying their hair, wearing make up, shaving their pubes, or leg hair or armpit hair. So much hate for women who want to look good

The reason is because men are expected to do absolutely NONE of these things in order to be viewed as attractive.

Job & hair colour

That is utter nonsense !

I applied for a job, my CV & references were enough & I was offered the job
I most certainly did not get the job, due the colour of my hair !

People are more than what they look like !

Teresa May - Prime Minister

The Queen

Grey hair, but still able to do work !

B3s1detheR1ver Sat 22-Jun-19 20:51:07
Teresa May - Prime Minister

The Queen

Grey hair, but still able to do work !

How very dare they. I'm surprised Bingbong hasn't been on the news lobbing a pack of Nice and Easy at the pair of them.

So much hate for women who want to look good
No, wanting to look good is fine. It’s the idea you can’t be grey and also look good which is the problem.

@bingbongnoise says "It's not about trying to look young, it's about looking after yourself and looking presentable. And a woman with hair that is wiry and frizzy and grey, does not look like someone who takes care of herself."

You can do both you know - have grey hair and take care of yourself! Just because someone isn't dying their hair doesn't mean they can't have a decent haircut or put in some lippy!

The women I know who have gone grey look great, though I would say in every case they do look a little older to me as I get used to it - which takes possibly two meetings.

I agree that if you are into a completely unstyled appearance, the look and texture of grey hair is different and that can change things. A haircut and if used, makeup rethink is worth it imo.

I wouldn’t grow my grey out, as my hair is basically white at the front and sides of my face and a dirty grey at the back/bottom. The pattern of the shades screams “aging”. It’s not a lovely highlighted textured grey. More of a limp mousey white/grey. Sadly. Don’t think dh would care though (which is your main problem).

@B3s1detheR1ver @TitaChocolate

Ba ha ha ha ha ha What rubbish examples of women who are natural grey and successful! Teresa May AND the queen !!!!! They are both are pensionable age (over 60!) The Queen is in her fecking 90s! PMSL!

I was on about women letting their natural grey grow through under FIFTY. My posts (all of them) make that very clear.

Time to work on your comprehension skills ladies. And even your reading, as you have clearly not read my posts properly....

Oh and Wilkos and B & M are good for prices when it comes to hair dye. Personally I like a No 8 blonde, and hell will freeze over before I let the grey grow though at MY age (40s.) No way I am looking 10 years older than my age.

Carry on with your frothing my dears.

Being a successful woman (under 50) is not reliant on the colour of your hair !

Many women choose to dye their hair. They don't need to, it's their choice

Just because someone isn't dying their hair doesn't mean they can't have a decent haircut or put in some lippy!
And yet I have grey hair, don’t wear Make up and still manage to look un-frizzy and not ancient. Make up is another thing women just don’t need. If you want to wear it, that’s fine, but those of us who don’t aren’t sad, frumpy types who have ‘let ourselves go’.

People would never say to a male that he was a bad
Father, brother, uncle, friend, family member
Employee/Employer
Volunteer
Charity fund raiser
Hobby friend
Musician
Artist
Etc
For NOT dyeing their hair

So why would you apply that to any female ?

bingbongnoise Sat 22-Jun-19 21:34:18
Carry on with your frothing my dears. wink

Lol. I've just read the whole thread. There's balanced discussion from the other posters and then there's you, BingaBong, exhibiting what appear to be advanced signs of rabies. I have seriously never seen someone so concerned about what other women do with their hair.

The frizzy thing is depressing too

In my case it’s about ethnic origins and I’m not going to start using chemicals for frizz either.

Why is there pressure to be unfrizzy?!

Fuck off Bing.

I'm grey, proud and beautiful.

What a load of shite @bingbongnoise. I hope to god you don't make recruiting decisions.

Since I stopped dyeing my hair I have had so many compliments - and not due to having had it poorly coloured in the past before you suggest that - from colleagues at all levels and friends, plus random strangers. I started going grey at 18 and it is so liberating not to be colouring it. Not to mention having money to spend in other things.

You look amazing HairyHands

I'm sure you do look amazing but it's hard to tell from that kind of black and white photo.

*wevraver Sat 22-Jun-19 20:48:48
I don't know WHY some women on here have such a huge problem with other women making an effort with their looks, dying their hair, wearing make up, shaving their pubes, or leg hair or armpit hair. So much hate for women who want to look good

The reason is because men are expected to do absolutely NONE of these things in order to be viewed as attractive.*

Rubbish - I would absolutely expect a partner to take care of themselves - shave so they didn't have a straggly beard for example and I wouldn't be attracted to a man who didn't take pride in their appearance

I am absolutely going against the main ethos on this thread in that if my partner told me he found something unattractive about me I would change that - I personally don't find red headed men attractive - When we met he had dark brown (dyed) hair - fast forward to my partner saying he wouldn't dye his hair and would let his natural red hair come through? No I wouldn't find him attractive.

As an aside I'm not naturally grey but dye it so it is silvery grey - so jealous!

*RosaWaiting Sat 22-Jun-19 22:27:45
The frizzy thing is depressing too

In my case it’s about ethnic origins and I’m not going to start using chemicals for frizz either.

Why is there pressure to be unfrizzy?!

I'll answer for me but to me frizzy means 'unkempt' and you don't look after your hair - Nothing at all do with ethnic hair which not to generalise looks fantastic whether braided or long spiral curls and not 'frizzy'

I’m not fan of grey hair but it’s your life and decision. I suppose he is also within his rights to tell you he doesn’t like it though.

Ok. Non B&W.

serc wait, so my frizzy hair looks fantastic? It’s neither braided nor long spiral curls!