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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think most women hope for a baby girl?

665 replies

Rowennaravenclaw · 21/06/2019 20:21

I know, once the baby is here, we love them and wouldn't change them for anything, whatever their sex.

But before the baby arrives, I think that the majority of women want a daughter. If you google gender disappointment, there seem to be way more hits about wanting a girl than a boy. I think it's probably natural, seeing as we have all been little girls ourselves and so imagine them to be a known quantity, and people tend to be drawn to what is familiar. Of course it changes once the baby arrives and we get to know the special person they are.

So, controversial, but AIBU?

OP posts:
expatinspain · 21/06/2019 21:16

I think with these threads you're always going to get the people who disagree posting. I think it is a 'thing' and gender disappointment does seem to lean more towards boys than girls.

knittedthrow · 21/06/2019 21:16

All those wanting boys ... you'll be a MIL one day and we know how beloved MiLs are

I have one boy, would love another. I also have a MIL, she's great.

Fundays12 · 21/06/2019 21:16

First time around I thought we probably would have a girl as my family was mainly girls (as in 2 boys on 40 years) so ds1 was a fantastic surprise.

Second pregnancy I really hoped for another boy and felt baby was a boy before the scan confirmed it.

Third pregnancy was a total surprise and everyone around us seemed to be desperate for us to have a girl. Dh and I just prayed for a healthy baby after nearly losing ds2. The baby is another boy due soon and we are delighted.

I won’t be having anymore although I keep getting told I should want to try for another to get a girl (apparently my family isn’t complete until I have a girl though me and dh feel it is) 🤔.

I don’t agree every woman wants a girl some of us are happy as a baby is a blessing.

sweetkitty · 21/06/2019 21:17

I definitely did, I was delighted DC1 was a girl. Like everything else people are so different so some would prefer one gender and some are genuinely not bothered.

I wanted DC2 to be a girl also as I wanted DD1 to have a sister close on age, DD2 is more “boyish” than most boys I know and totally different to DD1. In fact out of 3 DDs only one is what you would call typically girly.

When I pregnant with DC everyone assumed we were “trying for a boy” after 3 DDs I thought DC4 would be another DD was excited to have a tribe of girls, of course DC4 was a boy. Fed up with the now you’ve got a boy you can stop now comments though

ColdCottage · 21/06/2019 21:17

Nope not me.

ColdCottage · 21/06/2019 21:17

I really didn't mind what the sex of the child was at all

MarshaBradyo · 21/06/2019 21:18

Thankfully those who want a girl and have a boy generally find boys exceed their expectations.

I have both, very grateful all round

HallowZombie · 21/06/2019 21:19

When I was pregnant both times I would have been happy with either but secretly or not so secretly I wanted boys, to be honest never wanted a girl and luckily I got 2 boys

lazylinguist · 21/06/2019 21:19

I don't see why it would be more normal for women to want a girl. I have one of each. Dd (13) is resolutely non-girly and so am I. I find the whole 'I can't wait to have a girl so that we can do girly stuff together' a bit bleurgh tbh. I did the same stuff with ds and dd.

ASundayWellSpent · 21/06/2019 21:19

Nope, we found out that we were having a DD with DD1 at 13 weeks, and I had been hoping and thinking we were having a DS. I'll admit, I was disappointed for about an hour. with DD2 I was wishing and hoping for a girl so much because DD1 was desperate for a sister!

Parttimewasteoftime · 21/06/2019 21:19

Had a feeling I would have boys got two I am so lucky 🍀 They are the best chilled beautiful sure girls would have been just as good. But nah boys rule.

Pinkmouse6 · 21/06/2019 21:19

Nope, I didn’t care at all and I genuinely mean that. I’ve never been particularly ‘girly’ for want of a better term so hair, nails, make up etc means nothing to me. I’ve always been more into reading, writing, art. Honestly, either sex would have been fine and I ended up with two of each. My boys are far easier than the girls...

sergeilavrov · 21/06/2019 21:20

On a global scale, boys are the preferred sex. The results of the one child policy in China, along with other infanticide issues around the world, document this well. Given that these are women too, it seems counterintuitive that there is an intrinsic preference for girls amongst women. Or at the very least, this instinct (should it exist) is overpowered by cultural values.

If you consider the UK, the answer may well be different - however there is some evidence of communities having different preferences. For example, this paper documents that there is no significant preference for male children amongst women from the Asian community in the UK (though does have a small sample size). This differs from the statistics if we take Asia as a continent. This is interesting, because it suggests that ‘big’ culture is perhaps more influential than micro cultures e.g. within a household. I don’t know of any research that assesses sex preferences amongst non-specified population groups in the UK, but this would be a really interesting study!

Samosaurus · 21/06/2019 21:20

I have a son who I adore but when I was pregnant I could only imagine having a girl, but now I wouldn’t change him for the world. After two miscarriages I don’t care if #2 is a boy or girl, we just want another addition to our family!

Pinkmouse6 · 21/06/2019 21:21

I remember telling people that DC1 was a boy and I received a few groans and ‘aww well you can always try for a girl next time’ Hmm. Really shocked me because I genuinely did not care at all, I was the living cliche ‘as long as they’re healthy...’

I had two miscarriages at 11 and 12 weeks, it kinda puts into perspective how little the sex matters.

crazychemist · 21/06/2019 21:22

My DH was really hoping for a DD (which he got). Currently trying for #2. Part of me hopes for a boy (I’d hoped for a boy first time round, but more because I had an idea for a name!), but as I’ve already got girl clothes another girl would be great too

Careylisa · 21/06/2019 21:22

I totally thought I was going to have a boy, ended up with my beautiful girl. I was just really happy that I had the chance to have a wee person at all in my life!! If we have the possibility of another little one I think deep down my husband would love a boy, but still super happy whatever!

Mabellavender · 21/06/2019 21:22

I have 3 of each and am pregnant with number 7. I’d love another boy as my last two have been girls.

I think my first baby I would’ve liked a girl but I just knew it was a boy, and second Was the same, but I was still happy. When I finally got a girl third time round I screamed with excitement Grin

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a preference as long as you love the baby once it’s born no matter the sex.

And I do think it’s normal for a woman to want a girl and a man to want a boy, like you said we were girls and boys once and it seems more “known”

Newcrossboy · 21/06/2019 21:23

I really wanted a boy.

dustarr73 · 21/06/2019 21:24

All those wanting boys ... you'll be a MIL one day and we know how beloved MiLs are

I agree to a point.But im a mil,i dont over step bounderies.I do what my ds and his gf want regarding their baby.

I love both my dils.

slowco4ch · 21/06/2019 21:24

A healthy happy baby was my wish, but also not a whinging little girl! Shock

PeePooAndPaperOnly · 21/06/2019 21:25

How very sad that people google 'gender disappointment ' . Just be grateful
Imagine if your child discovered that

RitmoRatmo · 21/06/2019 21:25

Total nonsense! What makes you assume this random conjecture?

cabingirl · 21/06/2019 21:26

I desperately wanted a girl as I knew that it was likely I would only have the chance to have one baby and so I was thrilled when she was a she.

LadyRannaldini · 21/06/2019 21:26

It never occured to me that I might have a girl, I told the midwife to have another look! We had no name ideas for girls.

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