To think most women hope for a baby girl?

[Rowennaravenclaw]

I know, once the baby is here, we love them and wouldn't change them for anything, whatever their sex.

But before the baby arrives, I think that the majority of women want a daughter. If you google gender disappointment, there seem to be way more hits about wanting a girl than a boy. I think it's probably natural, seeing as we have all been little girls ourselves and so imagine them to be a known quantity, and people tend to be drawn to what is familiar. Of course it changes once the baby arrives and we get to know the special person they are.

So, controversial, but AIBU?

Reading these comments it almost seems to be the other way around! Everybody seems to have a preference for boys!

Wrong. I wanted a boy.

I really wanted a boy, and have three of them. I never had a particular desire to have a daughter.

I definitely agree. @Rowennaravenclaw

Although most people will disagree with you/deny it, it's an absolute fact that most gender disappointment is when it's not a daughter.

Most women I have ever met/spoken to, have wanted a daughter. I mean, they don't mind if they have 2 or 3 sons (and they do love them,) but they have to have at least ONE daughter. There is just something about having a daughter that you don't get with a son. the mother-daughter bond can be very powerful and special. And they are more likely to remain close for life than a son.

I know a few women with sons only, and they fear losing them to the family of his wife/girlfriend, as the daughters usually stay closer to HER parents, and the maternal grandparents are almost ALWAYS closer than the paternal ones.

I know half a dozen women with daughters only, and they have never ever been asked 'do you wish you had a boy?' Yet, women with sons only are constantly asked 'awww, are you disappointed the baby wasn't a girl???' tilts head...

Oddly though, some 2 generations back (like pre 1980s) most mums-to-be seemed to crave a son.

Maybe the children born to these women (who were a daughter when a son was wanted,) grew up and hoped for/preferred a daughter, to try and recreate the relationship they never had with their mother, who was so disappointed they were a girl... Just a thought.........

P.S. I'm not saying the people on here saying they wanted a boy are lying. But it's a fact that when there is gender disappointment, it is more often when the baby is not a girl.

@jarjarblinks

Yes I think you are right. But the only way I could do a vote was with yabu/yanbu, so I had to make a statement of some sort.

I would quite like it if mumsnet would let us make polls.

I wanted a girl (although I didn't want to admit it) and did get one. DP was the same. But once she arrived I was just glad she was healthy and safe.

We are just having one so that's possibly where my preference came from.

I Have two boys and if I’m lucky enough to have another I’d secretly like another boy, I wouldn’t be disappointed with a girl but I sway more to having another boy. I think most people just want a baby, gender doesn’t really come in to it does it?

I was desperate for a boy and loads of people I know had a preference for a boy as well. One of my friends even had pre- natal depression when they discovered they were having a girl.

I wanted my first to be a boy. She wasn't but I wouldn't change her for the world. I have one of each now.

I think you're probably right. And I say that as the mother of two boys. Stats show that most potential adopters, (usually driven by women), want girls. But interestingly, there is a wealth of research that show most men want boys, and that men are far more likely to leave the family unit if their offspring are solely female.
FWIW, experience has shown me that two of the same gender, reasonably close in age has been the best outcome.

No. Absolutely not. Always desperately wanted a boy and admit I would have been disappointed if I'd had girls

Yanbu. I think it's about the unknown. With my first I really hoped for a girl. I think it's because I was frightened and I thought I'd be able to identify with and bond with a girl more easily... whereas a boy I thought of as this stranger...
Of course my baby turned out to be a boy and I realised that was nonesense because its YOUR baby not some random boy.. so of course you love and identify with them...and being a boy means absolutely nothing in terms of the baby really.. they are all very different with thier own personality... I think in my head I'd thought a tiny 'lads lad' would just pop out of me that I couldn't understand! Seems ridiculous that I thought that now... I was just scared of the whole thing really and it manifested itself as a gender thing. I think quite a few women might feel that way with their first though.. before they really know what the reality is.

I think most people want both tbh, but ive never known any gender disappointment to ever last long anyway, as most of its fantasy and projection.

I'd always wanted a boy and had one. Wanted another boy and had a girl and she's fab.

The majority of disappointment threads are sadly about boys with a yearning for a girl

But fortunately when the baby arrives most will be overjoyed as you say

Noooo, not bothered. Healthy baby please!

Mm. Not sure on this one. I think women who want girls for the "pink sparkle shopping trips" type of thing end to be more vocal about it, for some reason. But I've met just as many women who want boys for various reasons, ranging from genuine fear over becoming their own mothers to thinking girls are all "bitches"

Or sometimes there is no real reason for your preferences. I was raised by very gender neutral, children can like whatever they want,, it's all about equality parents. I'm that way myself. Yet I still wanted girls, and so far all of mine are indeed girls. I'd have squads of girls, if I had my way. I just love everything about being a mother of girls, and having daughters, even though their friendships are every bit as complicated as people say, and I'm not girly and have never had my nails done or any such nonsense. But there we are. All the girls for me please!

I think threads like this don't really reflect the 'real' world as people get defensive and feel they need to defend their lives or their situation as no one wants to admit to gender disappointment of any sort once their child is here (and for many it disappears or they kind of 'forget' about how they felt pre-baby). Certainly in real life, pretty much all women I know who have expressed a presence have wanted a girl if it was their first. But I think it's kind of natural in a way, as long as you aren't overly disappointed or depressed when it's not.

I’ll be brave and say yes, I wanted a girl. I have one of each but was thrilled that DC2 was a girl. Secretly of course, would hate anyone to think I didn’t love DS the same amount.

Not true but I think mothers of daughters often think so.

If I ever had kids, I'd want a girl. But I'm not having any, so it's besides the point really.

So yes, I agree.

I always wanted a boy, grew up with too many sisters and really didn't want a girl at all.

YABVU. I went to an all girls school and sixth form and encountered a particularly bitchy cohort at uni. When I was a teenager my male friendships saved my life. I prayed for a boy!! Girls can be so horrible!

I have 3 boys and get so much pity for it Each one is so different, but equally awesome, just as a girl would be.

I always wanted boys. Am delighted to have a girl as well, but am so pleased my family is boy heavy.