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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think most women hope for a baby girl?

665 replies

Rowennaravenclaw · 21/06/2019 20:21

I know, once the baby is here, we love them and wouldn't change them for anything, whatever their sex.

But before the baby arrives, I think that the majority of women want a daughter. If you google gender disappointment, there seem to be way more hits about wanting a girl than a boy. I think it's probably natural, seeing as we have all been little girls ourselves and so imagine them to be a known quantity, and people tend to be drawn to what is familiar. Of course it changes once the baby arrives and we get to know the special person they are.

So, controversial, but AIBU?

OP posts:

SummerForLoving · 21/06/2019 20:37

@Rowennaravenclaw
Our twins were as a result of IVF. I wanted a boy. We got b/g, they are perfect and brilliant I'm just being honest that I did in my heart of hearts want a boy though. DD is awesome and I wouldn't change a single thing about her btw.

MyNewBearTotoro · 21/06/2019 20:37

I had a slight preference for a girl with my first pregnancy but only because I had pressure from ex’s side to use a family name traditionally given to the eldest boy and I really didn’t want to and was worried about the potential drama. Thankfully I had DD1.

For second pregnancy I genuinely had no preference and got DS. My third pregnancy was twins and I felt very strongly I needed at least one to be a boy - I think it was because DS is disabled and I was feeling a lot of complex feelings akin to grief about never having a ‘typical’ son. Both twins are girls and I wouldn’t have them any other way, but I do sometimes get pangs of sadness around my only son having complex needs. I love him dearly but part of me feels very sad that I probably won’t ever have an independent grown up son, however I’m not sure if having another son would have actually removed that sadness or if I was just holding onto it as a solution to the sadness I felt for poor DS.

Lauren83 · 21/06/2019 20:37

I agree with you I know of more women wanting a girl, although I always really wanted a boy and had DS1 last year, having DS2 on Monday too

firstimemamma · 21/06/2019 20:38

I'd have been happy with either a boy or a girl, but particularly loved the idea of a boy. I got my wish and now have a beautiful 10 month old ds

BikeRunSki · 21/06/2019 20:39

I really, really wanted a boy the first time. I Wasn’t bothered second time. I had a boy, then a girl.

Wavingwhiledrowning · 21/06/2019 20:39

Growing up as one of two sisters... I definitely didn't want a girl! Nightmare.

We had a boy first. Excellent. Girl second, and everything I feared. I love her fiercely, but god love her, she's an absolute force of nature. One day she'll let me near her beautiful curly hair with some kind of brush or accessory and my life will be complete. I anticipate that will happen in approx 20 years.

With DC3, I think DH and I both hoped for a boy to calm things down. We got a girl, and she's literally the most relaxed, easy going person ever.

What I'm trying to say is that it really doesn't matter.

SausageSimon · 21/06/2019 20:39

I wanted a boy so badly to the point I was worried I'd have a girl!

I feel silly for caring so much now, I wouldn't mind what I had next.

I did end up with a boy btw

PetaO · 21/06/2019 20:40

Totally wanted a boy and was petrified about having a girl... thankfully he was a boy!.....
Slightly worried about this next one, though.

AxCap · 21/06/2019 20:40

Not for me. Whilst after recurrent miscarriages I just wanted a baby, if I was totally honest, I really wanted a boy. Same with DC2. And I was incredibly lucky to get 2 boys.

But you might be right as a lot of people, who didn't know me particularly well to be fair I.e. clients, automatically assumed I was desperate for a girl the 2nd time.

JammyGem · 21/06/2019 20:41

I desperately wanted a boy and actually cried when I found out it was a girl. Now of course I wouldn't change DD for the world!

Sexnotgender · 21/06/2019 20:42

I didn’t care as long as I had a healthy baby. My older daughter has a huge number of medical issues and I wept buckets at my anomaly scan when I learned I was having a healthy baby boy.

Lifeover · 21/06/2019 20:42

I wanted a boy and got one

petrova · 21/06/2019 20:42

Nope . I wanted a boy . Am lucky enough to have 2 now.

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 21/06/2019 20:42

Yabu. Of course you are. What an idiotic, ridiculous, dumb, stupid, goady question.

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 21/06/2019 20:43

I always saw myself as a mum to boys and I was lucky enough to get two of them.

TemporaryPermanent · 21/06/2019 20:43

I did sort of want a girl it's true, because of the known quantity thing, and because I knew if I had a boy I would have to decide about circumcision (married into a family where it's a norm).

whirlwinds · 21/06/2019 20:43

Wanted and got a boy, never wanted a girl and still don't but if I did get a girl she will be equally loved and welcome.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/06/2019 20:43

Yanbu. Regardless of what people write here.

Yabbers · 21/06/2019 20:44

I didn’t hope for anything but was convinced I would have a boy. Felt weird to be told at the scan I was having a girl. Took me a few days to get used to it. I’m glad I have her. I think I prefer girls. But I’ve never had a boy so I’m sure I would change my mind if I did.

AquaPris · 21/06/2019 20:45

I want one of each! Weirdly am ok with just boys but less so with just girls... really want a baby boy

userabcname · 21/06/2019 20:45

I didn't care tbh, just wanted a healthy baby. However, the only person I know who had gender disappointment (or at least, the only person who has told me, there may well be others) was upset she had a boy. Also I'm in quite a few parenting / pregnancy / baby groups on Facebook and a lot of women post on there expressing a desire for a girl or disappointment if they've found out they're having a boy. Don't often see it the other way round.

Jarjarblinks · 21/06/2019 20:45

If I could have chosen I would have chosen a girl. I did have my lovely DD but was more relieved that everything was ok when she was born than I was happy that she was a girl.

Strange mix of replies on this thread. I it has made people a bit defensive OP, especially those who have boys. If you really want an answer to your question you could wait a few weeks then ask again which gender people would prefer instead of suggesting all people feel one way (which will attract and anger those who do not feel that way)

2strands · 21/06/2019 20:45

I didn't

MsMarvellous · 21/06/2019 20:45

I genuinely had no preference at all. So YABU. I think it's quite obviously one of those things that's personal to each individual

vgiraffe · 21/06/2019 20:46

Interesting. I did want at least one girl (first was a girl, second a boy). My main reason is that I have a great relationship with my mum and imagine that you can share more experiences with a daughter, particularly as an adult. I feel close to my mum now that I have children of my own, for example. Obviously I've not had the experience of being a son though!

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