To think most women hope for a baby girl?

[Rowennaravenclaw]

I know, once the baby is here, we love them and wouldn't change them for anything, whatever their sex.

But before the baby arrives, I think that the majority of women want a daughter. If you google gender disappointment, there seem to be way more hits about wanting a girl than a boy. I think it's probably natural, seeing as we have all been little girls ourselves and so imagine them to be a known quantity, and people tend to be drawn to what is familiar. Of course it changes once the baby arrives and we get to know the special person they are.

So, controversial, but AIBU?

Always wanted boys. Never saw the appeal of having a girl until I had one!

I just wanted children i was delighted with my two boys just as I would have been with two girls or a boy and girl.

With my second daughter, I hoped for a girl because we were older parents and I was worried about the elevated risk of ASD and similar.

Nope, I really wanted a boy and got one! I thought it would be fun to have a little boy as they often seem more active and more mischievous and that's exactly what my DS is like I also was a bit stressed about the idea of bringing up a teenage girl - I was a flipping nightmare!

Think wife and I both wanted girls, had two boys and adore them. Didn’t take long to get over any disappointment though, they’re awesome.

Re the whole "stereotype" thing.....

Of course some boys hate football and want to bake sparkly cupcakes and play dolly tea party games in preferences to banging trucks against the skirting board.

But the thing is:
a) Most boys don't. In my experience. The majority of children are fairly gender conforming.
b) If you have the boy who does hate football and likes to bake sparkly cupcakes and play dolly tea party games in preferences to banging trucks against the skirting board, you can still enjoy baking sparkly cupcakes with him but it's not quite the same thing, because in the real world your feelings about this are always going to be complicated. Like "I love spending time with my son and he's a wonderful human being, but I worry that he will have difficulties connecting with his peers and that social stuff will be difficult for him." No matter how unsexist we might be as individuals, the world out there isn't unsexist and this can make life harder for gender nonconforming men.

YABU.

I wanted a boy. I have two girls, I didn't feel disappointed either time but I would have loved to have a boy.

to those who have lost babies. I cannot understand threads where someone is devastated to have a healthy baby due to it not being the preferred sex.
I just wanted a healthy baby, it was a struggle to conceive and after failed ivf I honestly thought I may never have a baby. I was extremely lucky and further ivf was successful. I was worried until I had my baby in my arms that something would go wrong.
I could not love my little boy more and am so thankful for him.

I didn't mind either way.

@MrsMiggins37
There’s more differences between males and females than what’s between their legs.
Men and women should be equal but there are still many differences. In a good way.
My daughter plays with dps toys as well. It just goes a bit deeper than your statement. I wouldn’t call it sad that I wanted a little girl. I love her so much.

I really wanted four boys.
I have three boys and a girl.
Close!

Nope, always wanted and knew I was going to have a boy first and I did 😊

I think it used to be seen as the ideal to have one of each. Women of my mums age (60s) have told me that they were so happy they had one of each, or that they would have loved one of each bla bla bla. (I have one of each). I think in recent years women seem really down on boys. I know quite a few women who will admit to being upset at having a boy/ boys, but then I reckon secretly most men probably have a pining for a son too. I’m not sure what has caused this attitude to become so prevalent but I wonder if it’s to do with people being so image obsessed and materialistic now, the perfect insta families with all their beautiful girls in lovely flowery dresses puts ideas in people’s heads? Often I hear women with boys say they look longingly at little girls things and the worst thing about having boys is being unable to buy ‘pretty’ things. I admit after having a dd 1st I did really want another girl, a boy just felt a bit unknown. Since he’s been born of course I’ve spent zero time thinking about either of my children’s genitals and he’s a lovely as my girl.

There's been many occasions where fellow 'SMOG's have whispered shared thankfulness not to have boys.

Ugh! Do people like this really exist?! How ridiculous! What a dull, narrow-minded view of the world! (And I do have a DD, before you suggest I’m just envious!!)

I’ve had that too on having a girl third - the tg thing- , people were then honest with me about how they felt

But really if they had had boys I doubt they wouldn’t have loved them as much. Boys get a bad rap. Not on this thread though. Not keen on the anti girl thing either

And it is silly when people experience real heartache : (

I do not understand this at all , I have no question I would have been over the moon no matter what I had but honestly I always wanted boys before pregnancy and I ended up with two boys.

I genuinely believe it wouldn't have mattered if I had girls but I am happy with my DC, I have zero interest in continuing until I got a girl.

We don't do gender stereotypes in my house but not out of some militant need to prove a point but because we all think they are a bit wierd and uneducated. We do what we like , wear what we like and play with what we like. However I am fairly sure we would have done the same with girls.

My DC are my DC and they are perfect the way they are I can't imagine being driven by a need to fulfil having a specific gender because that's odd..your DC have their own personalities and they will turn out how they choose to why would it matter what sex they are ultimately ?

it, it's an absolute fact that most gender disappointment is when it's not a daughter.

Good grief - No wonder the world is going to hell in a handbasket. This in no way, shape or form a 'fact' It is your opinion based on your experience.

Of course you are entitled to an opinion and to provide the evidence you believe supports your opinion (your experience) but please do not state it as a fact, it most emphatically is not.

The only 'evidence' we have for which gender is is preferred by women points to there being a preference worldwide for boys, for all sorts of (sometimes depressing) reasons too complicated to go into now.

The problem is the question a phrased is a fact based question, and people are trying to answer it based on their personal, anecdotally based experience.

Anyway, surely a more interesting question anyway is why do some people have a preference for a boy or a girl when they are expecting a baby? I imagine it would tell us a great deal about ourselves as a society and our expectations of men and women.

I have 5 boys. Always imagined having a boy when I was a child, always wanted a boy baby doll. I get very irritated that people always assumed I had so many children because I was hoping for a girl - I genuinely never gave a stuff and I don't subscribe to all the gender stereotyping nonsense either. I suspect most people imagine having a girl because most dolls are presented as girls.

This is a cultural thing. In many cultures women hope for a boy. In a lot of these cultures boys clothes and hairstyles are just as cute as girls.

I feel so bad admitting to absolutely wanting a girl/girls not boys (numerous brothers growing up and always wanted a sister). I know I would have adored my DC should they have been born boys but I just can't help feeling genuinely blessed to have been given 3 DD.

4 boys. Happy as.

I wouldn’t call it sad that I wanted a little girl. I love her so much.

You don’t love her because she’s a girl though do you. You love her because she’s yours. You’d have loved a boy every bit as much I’m sure. Same as I don’t love my boys for their sex but because they’re mine and fantastic people.

Morning, everyone. We know this is AIBU and these types of threads invariably get heated but please keep posts civil and within guidelines. Thanks!

Hahaha we were told we’d never have kids naturally and then conceived spontaneously with a baby boy. Gender disappointment, ha! Being told infertility is gonna completely fuck up your plans for a family - THAT’s disappointment!