Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think most women hope for a baby girl?

665 replies

Rowennaravenclaw · 21/06/2019 20:21

I know, once the baby is here, we love them and wouldn't change them for anything, whatever their sex.

But before the baby arrives, I think that the majority of women want a daughter. If you google gender disappointment, there seem to be way more hits about wanting a girl than a boy. I think it's probably natural, seeing as we have all been little girls ourselves and so imagine them to be a known quantity, and people tend to be drawn to what is familiar. Of course it changes once the baby arrives and we get to know the special person they are.

So, controversial, but AIBU?

OP posts:
itscallednickingbentcoppers · 22/06/2019 08:32

'I can't stand another minute of posters bashing and berating girls, for no reason other than they wanted one and they are deeply in denial...'

Don't be a twat, you don't know what people are thinking and you're proving the point of the OP. My comment was about how things are culturally where I live - boys are prized above girls. Aren't males prized above females everywhere, in all walks of life? I don't agree with it so why you're accusing me of 'girl bashing' I don't know. Doesn't mean it's not true though. Ignoring sex preference doesn't mean it goes away. People are allowed to want what they want.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 22/06/2019 08:33

I'm going to be truthful I really wanted a girl. No complicated back story, just like op suggested, I thought we'd have more in common and I'd " know what to do " - dolls , make up etc. Silly point of view as i know little girls that like football and little boys that like dolls!
Any how I had a boy, would never change it for anything . He's mad about trains , and I've found myself getting into them too !
I knew I'd be a single parent and I knew I'd only have the one so I thought a girl would be 'easier. Complete rubbish of course !

theydontknowweknow · 22/06/2019 08:33

I always imagined myself with a girl but as soon as I found out I was pregnant, wanted a boy. We've since found out it's baby girl and I couldn't be more pleased. After nearly a year of TTC and problems with my ovaries, i was just glad there was a person in there!

forevercurious · 22/06/2019 08:34

Nope, pregnant with my first and I’d love to have a boy.

Whydoesitalwaysdothis · 22/06/2019 08:36

I wanted a boy

zafferana · 22/06/2019 08:36

I didn't mind either time, but am very glad I had boys. My DSis and I didn't get on, neither did my DH and his DSis, so we were both relieved to have boys. I also don't know anyone who has (or admits to), gender disappointment. I think you'd be a very strange sort of person to be disappointed with your baby.

Crazybunnylady123 · 22/06/2019 08:37

When I got pregnant I had a strong preference for a girl. Although a boy would of been great I would be hoping very much for our second to be a female. I got my little girl and she’s just perfect, like a little mini me with her dads personality added for fun.
Reasons, I thought girls clothes were nice, I wanted to pass on my old toys. Yes I know a boy could play with them but it’s not the same.
I thought about brushing her hair and teaching her my hobbies.
We are hoping for another baby soon. I don’t mind if we have a girl or boy this time. A brother would be nice for her but she’s so lovely I wouldn’t mind another little girl.

Toffeecakes · 22/06/2019 08:38

When I was younger I always thought I’d want girls but then once we decided to try I really wanted a boy, we had DS1 and then I wanted another boy which we were lucky enough to have. If we were to have a third I’d actually want another boy, having a girl would be like starting all over again and all my stuff is for boys. I don’t feel like I should have a girl or that I’ve missed out but equally I’d never have been disappointed if I’d had girls rather than boys. I’ve also never understood gender disappointment, a baby is it’s own person and not an object you acquire to your own liking.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 22/06/2019 08:39

I think that it's only after you have a baby that you realise what a gift they are. I'd give my right arm to have another one , be it a boy, girl or giraffe! But sadly my age and lack of man is against me! YANBU

Alsonification · 22/06/2019 08:44

I have to admit on my first I really wanted a girl. I have 4 brothers & no sisters & my partner had only 1 brother & no sisters so I think secretly both granny’s wanted a girl too. None of us mentioned it though. Luckily I had my beautiful girl.
On my second I didn’t mind what I had. I had my lovely boy.
I’m delighted with one of each but I know deep down if I hadn’t had a girl at all I would have been disappointed.

Crazybunnylady123 · 22/06/2019 08:45

@Dontforgetyourbrolly
Yes, it’s amazing becoming a mother and all the stories about it changing your life are true.
I truly hope I am lucky enough to have one more.
X

AccioCoffee · 22/06/2019 08:46

I really wanted a girl and I got one. I would love a boy next, just being honest. I would be happy either way though it's just a preference

heartshapedknob · 22/06/2019 08:46

I wanted a baby and although I’d have been happy with either sex, due to life experiences I was relieved I had a boy. Second was a girl and parenting her has dredged up lots of things I’ve had to work through, my issues not hers. She is amazing though and I love having a son and a daughter; they all have different personalities.

Spiteful behaviour isn’t limited to girls, this thread has some pretty awful assertions.

zukiecat · 22/06/2019 08:56

I desperately wanted girls, and I have two.

I've never felt any desire for a son, but I don't know why I feel that way.

I know someone who takes it to extremes though, she thinks that those who have boys are not "proper mothers" She feels sorry for anyone who has a boy, and when a famous person has a baby son she always says that they must be so terribly disappointed, and oh well, they can always try again for a gir.

Very odd way of thinking

Fyette · 22/06/2019 08:56

I did not mind either way but my friends who had or have a strong preference for a certain sex have all wanted girls, so I might have come to a similar conclusion, OP.

Newmumma83 · 22/06/2019 08:59

@Dontforgetyourbrolly

You are so right ! I waited so long to have my baby I am 36 and blessed with my
Son .... I always knew I wanted a child
But never felt ready, now I have him I realise I had no idea how amazing the bond is! I wish I had started sooner!

But so so glad I have my little baby now and maybe one more in the future 🤞 pregnancy and giving birth is not fun but now I get why people do it more than once ❤️💙

soontobefour4 · 22/06/2019 09:01

@septembersunshine you are right - you get whoever is meant to be in your life Smile

Wittsendargh · 22/06/2019 09:02

No preference with my first child, and along came my beautiful daughter. For my second I wanted another girl, as there was a 3.5 year age gap and I felt my older daughter would get on better with a girl rather than a boy. I got my wish 💜💜

Sportsnight · 22/06/2019 09:07

I wanted a boy (possibly as I was the oldest sister with 4 brothers!) but had a girl, who hasn’t been easier or harder - just herself. Second time around I was really glad to have another girl because I wanted them to have a close sibling relationship. I know some brothers and sisters are close, but I think it’s more likely if
they’re the same sex.

TwinkleWings · 22/06/2019 09:08

@zukiecat your friend is an utter fucking idiot

BenWillbondsPants · 22/06/2019 09:09

I hoped for a boy first. I hoped for a girl second. I got my wishes both times, but I wouldn't have been 'disappointed' by having a healthy baby of either sex.

Tartanwallpaper · 22/06/2019 09:11

I just wanted a healthy baby each time

waterlego · 22/06/2019 09:19

The struggle is not hard if you don’t let the pink in in the first place.

I don’t agree. I was keen to avoid all the pink and frilly stuff for my DD but doting grandparents and friends who are invested in stereotypes bought gifts of ‘girly’ things. My pre-schooler DD embraced it and totally immersed herself in all things glittery and girly. She would wear nothing but dresses from age 3 to 8. I gritted my teeth and joined in with the Disney Princess games as best I could, while continuing to offer more neutral toys and activities (which were roundly rejected!)

When she got to about 8 years old, something changed. She started refusing dresses, announced that she hated pink, and asked for a short haircut. She is 13 now lives in leggings and T-shirts. I was powerless to avoid the girly phase, but admit I am glad it passed. 😬

AshQ · 22/06/2019 09:28

I know someone who takes it to extremes though, she thinks that those who have boys are not "proper mothers"
I’ve had someone say this to me.

MrsMiggins37 · 22/06/2019 09:28

I think it's to do with childhood gender stereotyping

Of course it is. You only need to look at the reasons why people want one sex over another. Clothes, hobbies, spa day etc. It seems some people are a very long way from just valuing people for who they are rather than what they have between their legs. Sad really.