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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think most women hope for a baby girl?

665 replies

Rowennaravenclaw · 21/06/2019 20:21

I know, once the baby is here, we love them and wouldn't change them for anything, whatever their sex.

But before the baby arrives, I think that the majority of women want a daughter. If you google gender disappointment, there seem to be way more hits about wanting a girl than a boy. I think it's probably natural, seeing as we have all been little girls ourselves and so imagine them to be a known quantity, and people tend to be drawn to what is familiar. Of course it changes once the baby arrives and we get to know the special person they are.

So, controversial, but AIBU?

OP posts:
YouJustDoYou · 21/06/2019 22:00

God no.was never "girly" myself, so was a bit daunted by the prospect of having a girl.

Anarchyshake · 21/06/2019 22:02

With both of mine, I did not have a preference in either direction.

And neither have any of my similarly anti-gender stereotypes friends had a preference.

Not trying to be smug in the slightest. Had two girls. One of them is gender neutral and hates anything stereotypically girly.

Have experienced negativity from people who wanted my first to be a boy, and then for my second to be a boy because I had a girl. With the exception ofthe paternal nan who wanted a grand daughter after having lots of boys herself.

WTF. It's not even any if their business what gender I poop out of my vajo.

Mabellavender · 21/06/2019 22:03

I can’t abide all this gender nonsense.

It’s sex.

YogaDrone · 21/06/2019 22:05

I wanted a boy and got one. I didn't dare risk a second pregnancy because I knew I wouldn't be as lucky twice. I have a lousy relationship with my mother and was terrified that if I had a girl I would repeat the cycle.

Plus, the world is getting crapper for females with males taking over their sports and their scholarships and not being allowed to have sex segregated spaces. The world is so right wing and misogynistic at the moment and women are suffering because if it. I would worry about this even more if I had a daughter.

ThinkIveFoundYourMarbles · 21/06/2019 22:05

I'm curious as to why a significant number of posters on this thread have contradicted the OP by flatly stating they wanted a boy (some desperately so) but give no reasons. Would love to hear from more about why.

Skyejuly · 21/06/2019 22:05

I definitely wanted girls. (I 1 ds and 3 dd!)

madeyemoodysmum · 21/06/2019 22:06

I always wanted a girl. I got one.
After that I honestly didn’t mind I have a bit too and love experiencing both

ThinkIveFoundYourMarbles · 21/06/2019 22:06

Sorry, should point out that most of the reasonless comments were earlier in the thread!

trotesio · 21/06/2019 22:10

Yes.

I wanted 2 girls and I got 2 girls.

In my DD's friendship groups I feel lucky it's mainly girls and girl siblings as boys tend to disrupt the harmony of the group.

There's been many occasions where fellow 'SMOG's have whispered shared thankfulness not to have boys.

waterlego · 21/06/2019 22:10

Not me, I had visions of being a mum to three boys. Probably just because of stereotypical ideas about ‘girly’ girls and that not being something I could relate to.

As it turns out, I had a DD and a DS, and both are wonderful.

Chocolatecake12 · 21/06/2019 22:11

Going through infertility treatment makes you grateful to have a healthy child regardless of their sex.

parkrunhun · 21/06/2019 22:12

I wanted boys, I hate the world of pink girlishness and I could see the uphill struggle it would have been to try to bring a dd up without all that crap !

TanMateix · 21/06/2019 22:12

Someway I knew I was going to have a boy, that was what I expected and that’s what I got. Never imagined myself with a girl, sorry.

Spinnaret · 21/06/2019 22:13

Hell, no. The world is so much more forgiving of boys and men. I have never, ever wanted a daughter. Even my family have said thank goodness you only had sons.

PinkSpring · 21/06/2019 22:13

With our first, I really wanted a girl and we got a girl.

I am pregnant with our second and would like another girl.

I have never imagined having a boy for some reason!

TanMateix · 21/06/2019 22:15

My best friend was devastasted when she learned she was expecting a girl, it took quite a bit of reasoning to her about how she could relate with the girl so she finally accepted her, thankfully, before she was born. She is a fantastic mother of a very girly day these days. But hell, I did worry much back then.

SamStephens · 21/06/2019 22:16

I wanted a boy first to be honest - don’t know why, perhaps because I grew up with older brothers and no sisters and it is what is familiar to me. Had a girl though, love her to bits. Then had a son and he’s a hoot! Pregnant with another girl, was hoping for another boy oddly but I’m glad she’ll get a sister, as it’s something I didn’t experience growing up. We’re all different.

PrtScn · 21/06/2019 22:16

I had a preference for a boy and got a boy. I think because I’m not very girlie, have never worn make up (unless eg for a wedding and someone else dolls me up) was a tom boy growing up and still prefer doing more sterotypically male activities. I don’t think I’d know what to do with a girlie girl that likes frilly dresses and make up and cries getting dirty (I’m probably steretyping all girls there myself).

QuitMoaning · 21/06/2019 22:16

Whenever I hear that someone has had a girl, I immediately wonder if they are disappointed. I really have to shake that feeling off me.

I wanted, and got, a boy and so delighted.

He is a young adult now and we have a fabulous relationship.

PerfectPeony2 · 21/06/2019 22:18

So many preferences for boys on this thread... A lot even saying they’d hate to have a girl.

Wasn’t expecting so many really negative comments about girls!

Smokeyrobinson · 21/06/2019 22:18

Sorry I disagree. My DD is pregnant with her first baby - both DD and my son in law were over the moon when they found out it's a boy as that's what they both wanted.

PreseaCombatir · 21/06/2019 22:18

Haha, I’m loving the sprinklings of ‘how ridiculous OP, People just want healthy babies, there’s no preference’ amongst a sea of people listing their preferences.

It seems a lot of people on this thread people really hate the thought of having a daughter, rather than pining for one.
Lucky for me, I’ve got one of each.

BikeRunSki · 21/06/2019 22:18

I wanted boys, I hate the world of pink girlishness and I could see the uphill struggle it would have been to try to bring a dd up without all that crap !

The struggle is not hard if you don’t let the pink in in the first place.

PerfectPeony2 · 21/06/2019 22:19

Whenever I hear that someone has had a girl, I immediately wonder if they are disappointed. I really have to shake that feeling off me.

Urgh.

RomanyQueen · 21/06/2019 22:20

Well 71% think YABU.

What a load of bollocks maybe some do, maybe some want boys, and maybe a lot don't care as long as it's ok.