Couples holding hands is really cheesy beyond the teenage years

[HamptonLucy]

I've been watching several episodes of Escape to the Country (please don't judge me too harshly). Almost all the couples clutch each others hands on the sofa and cling on to one another for dear life when they're trundling around the countryside with lovely Alistair, Nicki Chapman or Jules.

Do you think it's a bit cheesy? The Obamas, the Macrons, Harry & Meghan, the Clooneys - all serial offenders.

Yes, it's beyond cheesy.

It's very much "look-at-us, look-at-us - soooo-much-in-lurve - just-look-at-us!"

It's very American High School Prom behaviour - it just look plain immature and silly.

I thought holding hands is what 9 out of 10 elderly couples do in this country?? At least I remember it struck me when I moved here 14 years ago, I remember even commenting to my mum, that old couples always hold hands in UK (not culturally common in my country of origin and usually not that many elderly couples about - either divorced or men died first. Might be changing now)

Anyway, apart from the OAPs - and I'm going to be in town today and will properly look, I'm sure all elderly couples I'll see will hold hands. My PILs always do, but MIL can barely survive on her own while FIL is in the toilet, so that's not surprising 😀

Anyway, I don't normally even register whether people of other age groups hold hands (I hold DH's hand sometimes though more likely to have arms linked and also, giving it thought, suppose I'd agree it's less PDA). But last Friday I did notice a couple of leaving along with me our DCs sports day and holding hands and it bothered me a little, I couldn't understand why at first.

Then I knew, they were walking along the road holding hands and woman gazing up at her DH, while their two young primary school kids were walking by themselves(not holding hands) behind, that was kind of weird. Maybe they just know their kids very well and know they would definitely safely tag along?

The other one is where I do notice and find it annoying is where couples hold hands and take up the whole pavement so I have to let go of my DC's hand and stand in front of one another to let the couple who won't unlink past though it's pretty rare. And couples holding hands walking round the supermarket, also makes for tricky shopping even with a basket, I think the basket carrier would rather not but isn't given a choice usually :).

Everyone who said OP would hate them: it's obviously light hearted and she's not losing any sleep over it, she also said she might do it occasionally herself, she just doesn't understand holding hands at all times, which I can totally sympathise with, YANBU :)

You are being unusual. There's a wide gulf between holding hands and public displays of affection e.g snogging, groping etc, which is over the top in my opinion, but each to their own. I like to hold my husbands hand when i have the chance to do so. Some people have a more physically (not sexual) affectionate relationship. Others are quite happy never touching except in bed. Don't judge those who are different to you.

Is anyone on this thread living outside UK, tell us if it's any different where you live, are elderly couples always holding hands and is it common or a bit weird among middle aged etc?
Btw haven't seen Escape to the Country for years, had to go on IPlayer to check and yes, the first one I opened - holding hands 😁 however used to watch years ago (when was obsessed with moving somewhere picturesque, in my defense) and never noticed it :)

It's very much "look-at-us, look-at-us - soooo-much-in-lurve - just-look-at-us!

It’s not for anyone else’s benefit. My and DH also sit on the sofa and hold hands and interlock feet and ankles in bed. Nobody else sees so it’s not for anyone’s else’s benefit. It’s because it’s enjoyable.

If you aren’t with someone you love to touch then maybe you’re with the wrong person.

*I'm still wondering why, after never posting before, you decide to join this thread and not only have a bit of comment on it, but actually kind of aggressively hound the thread, tell the 90% of us we are wrong and derail the thread..can you explain why you chose this thread @

Oh I know who this is! Yes she did post before on a thread that was taken down. She / he is a troll but very funny.

I’m sure she was on about petrol forecourts being a place of patriarchy and even the nozzles being penis shaped to make women fear men. Leave her be she’s great.

Bold fail!

haha at Titania.

They may have a point actually...

Oh each to their own.

It's very much "look-at-us, look-at-us - soooo-much-in-lurve - just-look-at-us!"

It's really not.
As I said, me and husband held hands walking around our garden looking at all the plants etc no one can see us! Sometimes I'll hold his finger sitting watching tv etc and we hold hands walking out and about but we don't if hands are hot etc. Its literally got nothing to do with anyone else and two people want to hold hands. Nothing more, nothing less, but the fact people make comments like the above says more about them than the people just innocently holding hands.

No, definitely not attention seeking - it's just an entirely unconscious habit after 27 years!

I was on a bus once, aged 18, and I saw my parents walking to the park, holding hands. They looked so happy. It was lovely.
I don’t like public snoggers or OTT displays of affection that make other people feel like voyeurs, but holding hands is fine, depending on the situation obvs !

Mr and Mrs Pan are continuous hand-holders. Not interested in having it interpreted or judged. We just like to do it.

No way is it attention seeking. I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks about me holding hands with my DH.😂

It's very much "look-at-us, look-at-us - soooo-much-in-lurve - just-look-at-us!"

Not really, I hold hands with my DH if we're walking alone aswell

Oh no I'm with OP on this one, really surprised only about 1% is! I just think it looks a bit juvenile, as if the next natural step would be breaking into a joint skip! It signals to the world that you are one unit, rather than two individuals. It makes you ever so very slightly more safe and superior to those around you who are not holding hands with anybody... but most of all it just looks juvenile.

It makes you ever so very slightly more safe and superior to those around you who are not holding hands with anybody... but most of all it just looks juvenile.

Do you think it makes people look safe and superior or do you actually think that's what the couples doing the handhold thinks it looks like? If it's the latter then that's some sort of paranoid complex you've got going on there.

oh I quite like holding hands sometimes, but I kind of agree it's a bit child like. A bit subservient to put your little teeny women like hands into his massive mitts. See Melania for e.g

I find skin on skin contact with my DH a comfort. We are definitely not juvenile, being in our late 40s. I don’t feel superior to anyone else, I’m not even thinking about anyone else. If that’s what you think, it smacks of bitterness and jealousy. Sad really to even notice and let it bother you.

What? Subservient? Because of the big hand: small hand ratio? Can same sex couples hold hands or is there a code about variance of hand sizes within the sexes?

Been holding my husband's hand for the last 55 years, it works for us!

maybe paternalistic rather than subservient?!

I don't know about same sex couples - I assume same sex couples assume different roles in relationships just like opposite sex couples.

Maybe I'm projecting my own issues here....

Anyway, no I dn't think it's about PDAs, but for me, I connect more through talking, laughing, spending time, rather than holding hands. For me, holding hands is about comfort, I think.

I think the op was bored and decided to wind everyone up

I'm amazed that as we are talking about Escape to the Country here, no one has mentioned what happens EVERY time they approach the kitchen in the house. It's ALWAYS "So what do you think about the kitchen [insert woman's name]?" Implying that she'll be the one using it. That's of far more concern to me than whether the couple hold hands or not.

And similarly they always ask the man about garages etc.

I think I'd have to have my hand held to stop it slapping someone! Actually, Maybe THATS why the man holds her hand....