Couples holding hands is really cheesy beyond the teenage years

[HamptonLucy]

I've been watching several episodes of Escape to the Country (please don't judge me too harshly). Almost all the couples clutch each others hands on the sofa and cling on to one another for dear life when they're trundling around the countryside with lovely Alistair, Nicki Chapman or Jules.

Do you think it's a bit cheesy? The Obamas, the Macrons, Harry & Meghan, the Clooneys - all serial offenders.

DH and I hold hands. We sometimes hold hands while we're watching tv.

He tells me he loves me before I leave for work and as I get home before him, he always comes to find me and gives me a kiss when he comes in from work.

I'm 46. We've just had our 23rd wedding anniversary.

What would you suggest?
Woke - A Guide to Social Justice. It will tell you how you're wrong about everything but does it in a non-patronizing manner.

@ForalltheSaints
usually it is people whom you feel seem very grateful to be in a relationship, either perhaps because they found love when unexpected, or as they would not be deemed attractive by many others

Absolutely. The only people committing this heinous offence to gender equality are
a) Peope who can't believe their luck
b) People who feel / are unattractive
c) Internalised misogynists
d) Performance couplers (comes before / after performance parenting)
e) Victims of toxic masculinity
f) The unwoke

@Hithere12
I don’t think Bridgette Macron is a great example of some weak submissive woman

I agree she is a strong woman but why is she not the president of France? Hmmm?

Patriarchy that's why!

It's so very important.
Never underestimate it.

It's just one of the glues that holds a relationship securely. It's a very subtle statement of affection.

It says:
you are loved,
you are valued,
I want to be connected with you
I am comfortable with you
I am proud to be seen with you
We are together

a) Peope who can't believe their luck
b) People who feel / are unattractive
c) Internalised misogynists
d) Performance couplers (comes before / after performance parenting)
e) Victims of toxic masculinity
f) The unwoke

Amal Clooney falls into all five categories above, clearly.

People who just like holding hands.

Well, you have a point there, @TitaniaMcGrath but I don't think the reason is that she holds hands with her DH the President. France has very deeply ingrained internalised misogynistic values; women only got the vote in the 1940s.

France has never yet had a female President, although they've had a female Prime Minister in the past, Edith Cresson.

It tells us nothing about why Bridgette Macron holds hands with her DH, however. Maybe she just wants to, like a lot of us on this thread.

And that's the bit titania won't be able to understand.

@Lizzie3869
It tells us nothing about why Bridgette Macron holds hands with her DH, however. Maybe she just wants to, like a lot of us on this thread

You're wrong. She might think she wants to. But deep down she's only doing it because of 12,000 years of patriarchal oppression. She doesn't even realise it. That's what it means to be unwoke.

But the real criminal here is Macron himself. He got into that willy-waving contest with Trump trying to show who could give the first handshake for the longest. They both ended up with white knickers and indentations in their hands. So puerile. You know he will have been told by some political advisor to always hold his wife's hand in the dominant upper position so that he doesn't look like a schoolboy being led out of school by his teacher.

Wait...

White knuckles not knockers obvs

Fail to see what any of this has to do with couples being affectionate, it happens with millions doing it every day and is nobody's business.
What a lot of fuss about nothing.

DH and I are not handholders. Feels a bit like one of us is guiding the other across the road like a young child. Love holding my DCs hands though. I have noticed this on property programmes too - is it a vulnerability thing (being on a telly programme) as much as affection/ coupleyness maybe?

You're wrong. She might think she wants to. But deep down she's only doing it because of 12,000 years of patriarchal oppression
Wtf, you cannot tell people they are wrong if they themselves say they just like holding hands! Can't you understand it? You sound like a real hoot.

I'm still wondering why, after never posting before, you decide to join this thread and not only have a bit of comment on it, but actually kind of aggressively hound the thread, tell the 90% of us we are wrong and derail the thread..can you explain why you chose this thread @titaniamcgrath ?

I love a bit of cheese, what's wrong with it? Although I don't think that holding hands is, by definition, actually cheesy. Cheesy means hackneyed and over sentimental. I don't think that holding hands is either of these things.

Obviously I'm a hand holder though
I love it, we hold hands in public, on the sofa and as we fall asleep. I love DH's big hairy hands.

@PortiaCastis
couples being affectionate

You're wrong.

It's got nothing to do with affection. It's got everything to do with an outward display of a chosen subservient position in the dominance hierarchy. The fact that some strong women might mistake this for "affection" is the same reason why so many dream of being "given away" by their father on their wedding day and wearing a virginal white dress before their husband takes their virginity - after physically carrying her over the threshold.

Millennia of conditioning by the patriarchy and internalised misogyny.

Once you're woke, like me, you'll see this oppression everywhere.

can you explain why you chose this thread@titaniamcgrath?

Because they're a goady fucker?

Yep.

Me and DH hold hands all the time at home and in public. We are in our 60's and have been married 40 years.

My parents are in their 90's and married almost 70 years. They hold hands all the time too. Quite often strangers come up to them in the street and say how sweet it is that they hold hands. They often ask too how long they have been married.

They're probably told to hold hands by the producers...🤷

Tatiana no I'm not wrong, when I saw my parents holding hands I thought it was lovely and you cannot change that just because you've an agenda to try and upset people. How on earth can you profess to know why people hold hands when you've never met them and are trying to flog a book

Titania is a parody...

@TitaniaMcGrath how matronising of you (as probably wouldn’t like PATRonising. Research shows feel good hormones are released through skin contact and eye contact. I like the feelings I get from touching my husband AND my children. What’s your favourite colour? I’ll tell you mine and then you can tell me why I’m wrong.

Please stop feeding titania.

It’s none of your business.