Adopted Twins became pregnant then gave babies back! Daily Mail

[dottiedodah]

Reading unusual story in todays Daily Mail.A couple who struggled to conceive adopted twin boys .The Adopted Mum felt she couldnt bond with them very well and also felt unwell .To her surprise she found out she was pregnant!.Felt terribly guilty she couldnt bond properly and spoke to the social workers about returning them ,they went back to care after just a couple of nights !.Feels guilty obviously ,but also just couldnt do it!(husband bonded well ) thinks its possibly due to her Hormones?Aapparently may not have been able to keep them long term as issue meaning they may need to be OC anyway!.Felt sorry for her and the babies TBH what does anyone else think?

Sounds heartbreaking all round.
Do you have a link? I'm a bit confused on the fact that they may not have been able to keep the twins

Adoptions breakdown. It happens

Anone running to the DM is a bit of a fuck up, really.

I felt that it was shitty of her to give them back like they are objects. But ultimately im hoping that they are now with parents that want them. Thats all that matters.

Adoption breakdown is common. It's not all sunshine and roses like the pro life movements would have you believe - you're talking about children with potentially very severe attachment problems.

Yeah, it was a weird one.

It’s so badly written so you’ll never get a sense of the real story (the woman says she thinks pregnancy hormones made her completely unable to bond with babies that weren’t genetically hers - that’s presented as fact ) but, reading between the lines it seems that her husband was the driving force and her heart wasn’t in it. The pregnancy was the excuse to hand the babies back.

Unfortunately I imagine there will be a long line of commenters waiting to slate her, but as difficult as it must be all around, and as harsh for the two young boys who now need to go through the adoption process again, I think it's better to be realistic about the likely outcomes in this situation.
Looking after three small children is never going to be easy, and a new pregnancy would presumably mean that the twins would be young toddlers (perhaps with additional needs), who would feel displaced by a new baby. Its unlikely the couple would be able to fully meet the needs of all three babies.

I have known of three adoptions two of which broke down. Its sad but it does happen 😕

Who the fuck goes through that and then calls the DM to tell them?

Here's the link, for anyone who wants to read it in full:

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7164649/Why-handed-adopted-babies-got-pregnant-Woman-tells-heartbreaking-decision.html

once i read that social services wouldnt have wanted the babies to be kept there with any other other children it seems the decision was taken out of their hands.

Adoption break downs happen and I wouldn't wish to judge. But going to the DM? Totally fucked up, dissipating any sympathy I might have.

Aapparently may not have been able to keep them long term as issue meaning they may need to be OC anyway!

OC?

Forget the story and just for 1 second and think that no matter what happened she has turned all of this into a FUCKING book, to sell and profit from! If she even remotely cared about those 2 boys then she would never have made it into a story it so crass it's almost beyond words.

Haworthia/apologies just posted this as cooking lunch and really hungry !.Just dashed it off!main point was the babies had arrived one day and were just kept overnight before they decided not to go ahead with the adoption!

Well it appears from the article that she wrote a book about it so presumably thats why she went to the daily fail

I think the reason it is in the DM is that she has written a book and wants to publicise it (and possibly get onto as many talk shows as she can?)

She probably did the right thing, adopted twins , especially if prem and with suspected developmental delays, deserve a better situation than a pregnant woman trying to learn how to parent, and then a family dealing with a newborn. THe twins were removed immediately and returned to their foster parents, so although an upheaval for them they were placed back in a familiar situation.

I do wonder who diagnosed their infertility though, since she has now apparently conceived again.

Going to the DM and then writing a book about this is beyond crass.

If I was those twin boys I certainly wouldn't be knocking on the door of someone I lived with for 24 hours and then decided they didn't want me because they got pregnant.

A pregnant woman couldn’t handle adopting twins with developmental delay after finding it hard to bond with them. Tbh I’m not sure I’d be brave enough to back down, the boys found a loving forever home pretty quickly and she went on to have another child. Alls well that ends well. Although feels a little grubby that’s that she’s written a book about it.

Meh. It's an adoption breakdown. They happen all the time.

Yes, adoptions do break down. It normally takes a while to happen and is most at risk when the child exhibits challenging behaviour. That, coupled with a lack of support, can mean a total breakdown. This woman is rather different. She chose to give them back after 24hours. I have a few issues with her:

1. Anyone who is SERIOUS about adoption ensures they won't become accidentally pregnant. Whether or not they have been told they are infertile. 0% chance of conceiving is really not common, the advice is to fully commit and let go of it if you are adopting. She clearly didn't. I suspect they carried on without protection, telling themselves they were infertile but secretly keeping their options open in their heart.

2. She complains that she didn't have a rush of love. Again, it is common knowledge that many adoptive parents DO NOT feel a rush of love. It can take months, and a lot of faith, before it happens. She didn't give herself a chance but most importantly, she did not want to. As soon as she found out she was pregnant, it was the excuse she needed. She says later on in the article that she also didn't feel the rush of love for her biological child...says it all really.

She is a classic case of a person going into adoption whilst secretly hoping they might fall pregnant before it is all settled. I'm not saying she deliberately thought about it this way but unconsciously it seems that's what happened. Which is why you take precautions no matter what when you are adopting.

Am I sad for her? No.
Am I sad for the twins? Yes and no. Yes because they had the misfortune of being matched with a woman who hadn't been entirely honest with herself or social services. No because they ended up with a serious family.

She should have never been allowed to go through the process. When they asked the question "Do you promise to protect yourself against pregnancy" I guarantee she said "yes".

Adoptions breakdown, it’s not all sunshine and roses and can be massively difficult and traumatic for all concerned. SS wouldn’t have ‘taken them back’ without working very closely with the family

It's a very interesting story. I don't judge them badly at all. It sounds like the adoption wouldn't have been allowed to happen anyway and the babies were adopted in the end.

Adoptions breakdown, it’s not all sunshine and roses and can be massively difficult and traumatic for all concerned. SS wouldn’t have ‘taken them back’ without working very closely with the family

No, she went through introductions, bought them home and within 24hours had discovered she was pregnant and handed them back. There was no time for anybody to do any work with them.