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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Put own dinner on plate?

144 replies

Naughty1205 · 20/06/2019 20:29

Just wondering, if you made dinner and it was ready to plate up in kitchen, but you were juggling a few other things at the same time: if you asked your partner/dh would he mind plating up his own dinner, in case it got cold, as I just wanted to finish x,y, and he said 'I would mind actually, yeah', not joking, he wasn't impressed, (by the way x, y was me trying to finish school lunches for 2 and just put stuff in sink etc) He has no form for this, I'm a sahp and felt terrible. Not sure if I'm leaving out any back story but feel he has totally lost respect for me. Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
Sproutsandall · 20/06/2019 20:33

He’s a dick.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 20/06/2019 20:33

Wtf?

My husband wouldn’t need telling if he saw I was busy multitasking. He’d get on with it, or he would be wearing his dinner on his head Confused

User2638394 · 20/06/2019 20:34

He’s a little shithead.

mbosnz · 20/06/2019 20:35

I'd be saying, 'well, you're clearly not very hungry then'. . . continuing with what I was doing, then plating and eating mine. He could do what he liked.

wineandroses1 · 20/06/2019 20:35

What a twat. You’re not his slave. I would have plated my own dinner and given his to the dog.

StinkinDrink · 20/06/2019 20:35

@User2638394 Has it in one I think!

SpanglyPop · 20/06/2019 20:36

Genuinely if my husband had said that I would have dropped everything and left the house and then not only would he have to deal with the horrors of dishing up his own dinner he'd have to do everything else. Fuck him.

TigerJoy · 20/06/2019 20:36

YANBU. For heaven's sake, aren't you a team?

Ghanagirl · 20/06/2019 20:36

He sounds horrible

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 20/06/2019 20:37

Hmm my response would have been ‘sorry I must have misheard you, were you trying to say thanks for making me dinner in the first place?’

Cheek of him. I wouldn’t be plating anything up for him.

Soubriquet · 20/06/2019 20:37

You mean he had to plate his own food!!! ShockShock

Even after you cooked it for him! ShockShock

Naughty1205 · 20/06/2019 20:37

Thanks, yes, I was so surprised. I just said 'what'? He said he did mind. I think he thinks I sit on my arse all day! In fact I barely get time to eat. I'm at home with ds who is 3, I really try to keep on top of chores, clothes are washed, dried and put away on same day, I don't get a minute to myself. I'm really beginning to question the relationship.

OP posts:
Queenoftheashes · 20/06/2019 20:38

Shove his face in it

IvanaPee · 20/06/2019 20:39

What??

Naughty1205 · 20/06/2019 20:39

Sorry also have dd who is 8. I should have walked out. I'd have gone to a hotel or somewhere but I've no money. And the kids would miss me. And the dog.

OP posts:
RedForShort · 20/06/2019 20:40

You say he's not got form. But does that mean the situation where he has to do something as lowly as put food he's going to eat on his plate all by himself has never occurred before?

Summertime2 · 20/06/2019 20:40

So did you plate up his dinner???

NoSauce · 20/06/2019 20:42

What??

Quite.

OP why didn’t you just plate his up when you did everyone else’s and leave the other jobs for later? It all sounds chaotic.

KatharinaRosalie · 20/06/2019 20:43

Why haven't you got any money? No access to his accounts and no joint one, yes?

Whatthefoxgoingon · 20/06/2019 20:43

I very much doubt the fucker has no form.

Why don’t you have any access to money?

NewMe2019 · 20/06/2019 20:45

Irrelevant but the term 'plating up' makes me shudder.

Sorry OP, as you were. What a fucking dick. I'd be livid and would have sorted mine and the kids and left his there. Then I wouldn't bother even cooking his for a few nights until he realises what a fucking bellend he was. You are not his slave.

Daygals · 20/06/2019 20:46

You say he has no form for this, so please as in its out of character.

If so, I think if my DH did such a thing, I'd be seriously worrying what was wrong but as that hasn't been your response, perhaps he has more form than you realise?

whywhywhy6 · 20/06/2019 20:46

That’s incredibly disrespectful. But I’m also surprised you’d even asked him. I would have said “can you sort that out - I’ve got my hands full” as a rhetorical question/instruction.

I’d probably be winding back to only looking after the kids and doing all domestic tasks relating to them and spending time taking them out or to the park etc. I’m not saying I wouldn’t cook for him but I’d only cook what I was already making and leave it to him to serve himself or wash his clothes where it would be silly not to, but not iron his clothes etc. Try to get a more respectful balance back into things.

Naughty1205 · 20/06/2019 20:46

Yes I plated it up. And I don't think this situation has happened before, if similar has happened I never saw a reaction like this. I think he has no respect for me. Just because I'm not earning maybe. We're married 12 years, not that that matters. Not sure what to say or do from here tbh. Thanks for the replies. If someone tells me iabu I'm willing to take it on board. Maybe because I was making the dinner I should have finished it right to putting it on the plate?

OP posts:
Onescaredmuma · 20/06/2019 20:47

Did he seriously expect you to stop everything you were doing and plate up his dinner. Sorry OP but your partner is an arse!

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