Put own dinner on plate?

[Naughty1205]

Just wondering, if you made dinner and it was ready to plate up in kitchen, but you were juggling a few other things at the same time: if you asked your partner/dh would he mind plating up his own dinner, in case it got cold, as I just wanted to finish x,y, and he said 'I would mind actually, yeah', not joking, he wasn't impressed, (by the way x, y was me trying to finish school lunches for 2 and just put stuff in sink etc) He has no form for this, I'm a sahp and felt terrible. Not sure if I'm leaving out any back story but feel he has totally lost respect for me. Thanks for reading.

Wow. What a dick he is.

That's not on you're meant to be one unit. What he should have said is 'is there anything I can do to help you so we can sit down together' just cause you're a sahp doesn't mean everything's on you, they're his kids to he can/should and should want to help out.

I hate the term plate up too - we serve up or dish up.

but that aside, he's a twat

Dont you think about leaving, he can go and get his meals at a cafe while he is staying in B&B.

I don’t serve or dish or plate up anything! It’s all a bit 70s
Serving Bowls of food go on the table people help themselves.

He sounds like an absolute dick.

But....Why does everyone have to say “plating up” now? Like it’s Masterchef. It sounds ridiculous when they say it on TV, but now everyone says it in real life. I hate it.

Cross post, Karala!

What a twat! My partner usually comes in as I’m mid cooking. He will automatically start taking cutlery etc through to the table. Doesn’t help dish-up but that’s purely because I’m on top of it. Takes all the plates through, then after dinner clears the table, loads the dishwasher and tidied the kitchen.
I’m also a SAHM, but that doesn’t make me everyone’s maid!

If he'd said that to me I would have put it on the plate then immediately frisbeed it across the lawn. What an utter dickhead.

He sounds a right lazy pampered fucker

Well you probably have a spotless house because you're never in it! Or if you are you're running a business not running after a 3 year old

Your negativity shines through as well as your generalisation my house is spotless as my child has a grade 6 allergy to household dust mites!

We need to steam clean daily as well as dry dust and hoover mattresses every other day!!! Not to mention freeze and defrost pillows and duvets weekly...

I also have a dh who shares the work load, and appreciates my contribution to the household.

My point being it regardless of your role, you should be appreciated and respected, not be treated and a subordinate!!

Massive dickhead

He has no form and you feel rubbish about it because you feel the tides are turning and this is going to become a regular thing. And it could. So go talk to him/rant/whatever. Sahp does not equal maid ( from someone who has turned into a maid over the last few years and is fighting it constantly so knows you have to stop it NOW!!!)

Ar£hole of the first order. Should have said “well you can go without then since you can see I’m busy”. Jesus Christ. What with this and the thread about the lazy git who plays xbox all day long etc etc I just wonder where this generation of loser men came from.

NOSAUCE I pray you are a troll and not a relic from the 1950's

I’m not a troll the husband was a dick to speak to the OP like he did but I don’t understand why she didn’t just plate his food too. All the fussing around making lunches and whatever could have been done later, by the husband too.

Put it this way. If my very very immature (SEN - EHCP level) 16 year old son reacted to my reasonable request like that, he wouldn’t be getting his dinner on a plate. In fact, thinking about it, I teach 3 - 5 year olds & if my hands are full and I ask them for help
(within their capacity and safety limits, of course), I expect them to help without quibble. To quote a song: ‘I am no-one’s slave, I am no-one’s master’.

If I asked my DH would say fine and get on with it. Because he's not a total tool. We tend to not interfere with each other's work (we work better like that cos we think each other do it wrong ) but we certainly help if asked. And no moaning without good reason.

you asked your partner/dh would he mind plating up his own dinner, in case it got cold, as I just wanted to finish x,y

I'm surprised how very humble and apologetic you were about even asking him. You had to explain it. In my house it would be "I've got my hands full, can you put your own dinner out?" It's odd that you needed to justify asking him to do this small task.

And when he was rude it's odd that you couldn't say "Oi! What's that about? I was busy!" It's as if you expect him to be nasty or you feel that he must have some good reason or justification for it. He doesn't.

It sounds as if you feel very responsible for everything (that can be a symptom of depression, it often goes along with anxiety) and perhaps your self esteem is low so you are wondering if you somehow deserved it (you don't). And your DH (perhaps not so D!) was willing to take advantage. He was being cheeky and disrespectful. If he makes a habit of it - and I don't see why you would have been so apologetic if he didn't make a habit of it - then his rudeness will be making your anxiety/depression/self esteem worse

I think you need to think about how to get out of the house and back to work. Being stuck at home and depending on Mr Unsupportive (now Mr Rude and Entitled) is not doing you any good.

I do all the cooking and am at home all day, no kids.

I'd have frisbee'd the bloody plate at my DHs head if he said that to me. It's about being appreciated and sharing the load.

Are you his servant to plate his food?

"oh sorry darling,do let me" then plate it onto his lap!

If my DH had ever said that to me you can be sure I would never ever ever have put as much as a teaspoon of gravy on his plate ever again.

Seriously, I would be having words with him , telling him he doesn’t seem to appreciate what I do and telling him if he doesn’t start showing some manners I will be doing a whole lot less in future.

if my DH had ever said that to me you can be sure I would never ever ever have put as much as a teaspoon of gravy on his plate ever again.

this^

first year living together with my now dh I was still at uni and he was working full time. i used to iron his shirts for him as I had more free time. I'd been busy one week and hadn't done it and he got really huffy with me... needless to say i didn't iron his shirts again. over 10 years later and I very rarely will iron a shirt for him. fwiw he learnt his lesson and now appreciates what I do for him.

this!!!!

Do I understand correctly? He has his own bank account, which you can’t access. There’s a joint account, which you used to pay into, but no longer. Does he move money into this one? How do you get money??

That aside, this is not reasonable behaviour. He should be worried about you losing respect for him...

I would absolutely love my shit if a man spoke to me like this. And dinner would have exited through the window. Who the fuck does he think he is?

Amazed at this thread, my OH annoyed me so much once over something like this I threw a cooked baked potato at him, it hit the wall behind. I was accused of physical abuse, my OH should have called the police for assault by the mums netters on here. Tonight I would have been told good on ya.