Put own dinner on plate?

[Naughty1205]

Just wondering, if you made dinner and it was ready to plate up in kitchen, but you were juggling a few other things at the same time: if you asked your partner/dh would he mind plating up his own dinner, in case it got cold, as I just wanted to finish x,y, and he said 'I would mind actually, yeah', not joking, he wasn't impressed, (by the way x, y was me trying to finish school lunches for 2 and just put stuff in sink etc) He has no form for this, I'm a sahp and felt terrible. Not sure if I'm leaving out any back story but feel he has totally lost respect for me. Thanks for reading.

He has no respect for you. He thinks you live to serve him and he has no respect for the work you do as a SAHM.

I'd be looking for a job - this won't end well.

I would have told him to fuck off. You. Are right. He showed a complete lack of respect. You’re not his bloody slave.

If I was doing other things my DH would plate up for everyone. He wouldn’t need to be asked.

Christ alive, he's a tosser.
Why can't he put some food on a plate?

It always amazes me these stories. This man would rather he forced his wife to put his dinner on a plate than be an attractive kind partner who helps her out. Being top dog and putting you in your place (telling you exactly how little he values you) is more important than being nice to the woman he has sex with. Are they thick or what?

How bloody weird op! No that's not in! And to the pp who suggested she should be more organised - you are spectacularly missing the point!!!

Yes perhaps she could've done things differently. It doesn't stop hervhusband from being a dick about pitching in and putting his own food on the plate. Or is the OP supposed to be Mary poppins at all times???

That's a bit rude...was he doing something as well? Not that it's a excuse. But in the same way it would have been hard for you to stop what you were doing, maybe he felt the same way?

But, couldn't dinner have stayed in the oven (off if needed but still in the warm), or on the hob until someone was ready to dish up? I can see it might be mildly annoying you had taken up another task so close to dinner being ready, and was then not available to finish the job of dinner.

I wouldn't have asked him to just dish up his dinner though. I'd have just asked him to dish up full stop, or dishing up could wait till I was done.

Could he have been annoyed, not at the request of dishing up itself, but the implication this meant you were not eating with everyone else / expected him to eat alone.

YANBU I don't think, in how he reacted, but perhaps his reaction isn't about being asked to dish up per se.

he has no respect for the work you do as a SAHM

The thread isn’t about that. Whether OP had a job or not her DH should have had the sense to plate up the food when he seen she was busy doing other things.

Next time, plate it up.

Then leave it on the side whilst you get on with all the other jobs.

And then decide to mop the floor.

Then serve it lukewarm - for best results, make sure there is something like beans or gravy on it for that extra special touch of congealing gloop.

And take the dog for a walk, leaving him to deal with it.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind - it's not as if he had been expected to dish it up by himself, after all, as that would have been a massive insult to his manhood.

Yes it's chaotic really. Trying to get food into the kids is a challenge. He comes in the door and sits on couch, on phone. I've asked him numerous times, with ds clinging to my leg, if he could just entertain ds for a few minutes while I get dinner ready. He will do that, but I'm tired of asking. Have no access to his own accounts, but know exactly what he earns. We have a joint account which I have access to, but don't contribute to now. When we met I was a software manager earning twice as much as him. I don't care about that, it's one pot now. There just isn't enough. We are not on the breadline but have tightened our belts. I'm looking into earning money from home. It is chaotic, I have anxiety, but don't feel supported in that either.

I would plate it up for him. Show it to him. Then dump it, plate and all in the bin.

Fuck. Right. Off. Pal.

Jesus OP. Can you get a job? Would you earn enough to cover half the child care?

I'd tell him to fuck off and starve then.

NOSAUCE I pray you are a troll and not a relic from the 1950's

he has no respect for the work you do as a SAHM

The thread isn’t about that. Whether OP had a job or not her DH should have had the sense to plate up the food when he seen she was busy doing other things.

Of course. But my guess is he wouldn't speak to her like that if she had a job. Some men have a deep disdain for the work women do in the home with small children and refuse to acknowledge it as an equal contribution (lots of posters on MN are similar). A man who objects to putting out his own dinner is saying "that is your job because you are acting as my housekeeper now".

OP, you have access to one account - not all the accounts. It isn't "one pot now".

He was a total arse. When he said he minded you should have told him he would have to either eat it out of the pans or cold if he wanted you to plate it.

www.beniceorleavethanks.com/2012/04/24/when-i-showed-my-husband-the-what-do-moms-do-all-day-picture/

I'd be telling him he can plate it up or it can go over his head. His choice the ungrateful twat. Going to work doesn't make you an invalid

Thanks for the replies. Next time I'll ask him to give it to the dog. And then walk out. I really need a week away during term time to show him what I do. Feel like shit this eve. Wouldn't mind but it was fucking prawns, which was a palaver. He wasn't doing anything else to stop him 'plating up' (also to pp, I hate this term! But didn't know how to explain it otherwise! ) Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Was this about the plating up or was it because you don’t see eating with him as a priority?

Tell him you're sorry and tomorrow you'll make sure dinner's on the table for it. Then put it on the table for him - without a plate. Something like casserole or a curry .

Seriously he's being a tool.

I did this to my mum when I was 14, she plated it up and threw it out the living room window. There was a jacket potato on the lawn for days before I gave in and cleaned it up. Feel awful for it now though, I would expect a fully grown man to not act like shitty 14yo me!

To be honest I've no advice. If I'd been busy when my husband was ready to eat dinner and it wasn't served up for him I wouldn't had to ask him if he minded plating up his very own dinner.

He'd ask if what was in the oven/pots was for tonight and who'd already eaten the get it on a plate all by himself (and if others hadn't had their dinner he'd do theirs too)

He's a dick and if you think about it OP, what bigger things does he do that are dickish....?

More fool you for actually doing it after he said that. What a dick head he is

Wowzers