Put own dinner on plate?

[Naughty1205]

Just wondering, if you made dinner and it was ready to plate up in kitchen, but you were juggling a few other things at the same time: if you asked your partner/dh would he mind plating up his own dinner, in case it got cold, as I just wanted to finish x,y, and he said 'I would mind actually, yeah', not joking, he wasn't impressed, (by the way x, y was me trying to finish school lunches for 2 and just put stuff in sink etc) He has no form for this, I'm a sahp and felt terrible. Not sure if I'm leaving out any back story but feel he has totally lost respect for me. Thanks for reading.

well if you were cooking surely you dish it up.Not that he should be being a dick about it of course.

well if you were cooking surely you dish it up.

Why?

You should have put his dinner in the dog bowl, I'm sure your ddog would have enjoyed it.

As you used to earn more than him you probably still can, so tell him you are looking for work and as soon as you find it, he needs to give up his work to look after the children and cook for you.

And you expect him to serve you,

Next time, plate it up, then tip it on the floor and tell him to come and bloody get it.

In fact I barely get time to eat. I'm at home with ds who is 3, I really try to keep on top of chores, clothes are washed, dried and put away on same day, I don't get a minute to myself. I'm really beginning to question the relationship.

In work FT (out of the house from 7am to 6pm) and have 2 children who do numerous sporting activities (11 between them) and also run a business outside of my working hours... we don’t have any help other than after school club.

I still have an empty washing basket and spotless house.

I’m super busy, and between me and dh we manage (barely at times) however we respect and they roles we do in our family/relationships dynamics.

He is being massively UR, not only does he lack respect for you, he also lacks respect in the role you play in your family/relationship dynamics.

Real men dish-up their own grub, while little boys want mummy to put it on a plate for them.

He is being totally unreasonable and unbelievably disrespectful. However, YABU for describing being at home with a 3 year old as resulting in "not having enough time to eat". Come off it! A 3 year old is not difficult (a younger baby or 1-year old, yes).

I am open-mouthed reading this. What a nasty man. you need to get a backbone OP. I would’ve said “oh, Im sorry darling”, then plated it up, wafted it under his nose with a flourish - then turned around and chucked it straight in the bin! (and I have been known to chuck DP’s dinner away when he’s being twatty).

So do that next time, ok?

This is probably a stupid question but did you ask him to plate up the dinner for everyone or just him? Had everyone else eaten or had you just sorted everyone else out? I’m just failing to see what he was offended by

We’re you not planning on eating. Do you cook for your kids and then him all separately

OP, you know this isn't right, you are clearly an intelligent woman. What would have happened if you had said 'you're joking right? you can see I am busy with DS, please plate up your dinner yourself?

Would he have been annoyed/had a go at you or would he just get on with it?

IOP why didn’t you just plate his up when you did everyone else’s and leave the other jobs for later? It all sounds chaotic*

I also don’t get why he was only asked to plate his own.

Surely you ask him to serve up everyone’s or no ones? Why just his own?

I still have an empty washing basket and spotless house

Well done you. Have a gold star. Want a superwoman award too?

Mine’s a shit tip at the minute. Do not have time. Washing basket(s) are overflowing because it’s raining, but the heating is off so it won’t dry. House is far from spotless as by the time we all get in and cook dinner the most we can manage is to run the dishwasher after.

Some of obviously don’t cope as well as you. When my eldest was a baby/toddler i could not leave them for a second. Genuinely. I’d go all day with not even a cup of tea. I’d have breakdowns about the housework.

What?! I hate plating up so every night I cook and DH plates up.

He needs a wake up call OP.

Your 'D'H is a dick. End of.

We were the opposite in this house with my DH being the SATP and me st work. I'd have played up if he was juggling things. He wouldn't have been juggling things though because I would have seen what needed doing (or more like asked because he had a system and I'd jump in wherever he was in his system like he does mine) and just got on with it. No playing on the phone. No need for him to ask. We've switched back to me working from home and him out but we still work as a team.

I agree with the PP who have said they'd have left. I wouldn't have plated up at all. He doesn't respect you or what you do in the house.

YANBU
I was a SAHM for 8 years and DH was/is a workaholic. Evenings were often busy. We had/have v traditional lives. Lots of boys jobs and girls job and I have always done or organised the lions share of all domestic/family stuff.

If we are v busy it is commonplace here to have a meal laid out on the worktop and for people to help themselves as they come in, often with a blast in the microwave. For instance lasagne, salad, garlic bread set out for the starving masses to help themselves and put their dirty plate and irons in the dishwasher when finished

I’m not sure I’ve ever plated my dh’s dinner. And I can’t really remember him ever doing mine. Children, yes, and houseguests, but we’re both adults. Just like your dh, perfectly capable of serving up our own food.

I’m more or less sahm .

My job is looking after kids house etc .

I have dinner cooked and kitchen clean plus children ready for bedtime when he comes home from work

If I’m not quite finished with kitchen or the kids he comes home and helps straight away .....though most days I don’t need it

He ALWAYS dishes out our evening meal for us and sets table , that’s his way of having a moment in the day when I’m not serving everybody else .

I always look forward to that time of the day .

After you cooked it? He couldn’t even plate it? Ungrateful sod!

My mum found an effective way of teaching me to be appreciative of other people’s cooking. She’d made a very fancy dinner, slaved in the kitchen for several days and I was warned to be home promptly at 6.00. Being the selfish teenager I was i waltzed in at 9.00 to find she’d left my dinner in the oven for those three hours. I ate it to spite her but every mouthful was torture! Never took anyone’s efforts for granted again after that!

DH cooks and I dish up.

I'm with PP in hating the term "plate up". In our house we dish up the dinner .

Speechless. How can he be so fucking thick skinned???

Apart from contributing financially, does he do anything else? Is your 3 year old eligible for free nursery? If so maybe find yourself a job and kick his lazy arse out the door.

I'd have thrown his dinner in a trough and made him eat it from there like pig! He's acting like one so can eat like one!

In work FT (out of the house from 7am to 6pm) and have 2 children who do numerous sporting activities (11 between them) and also run a business outside of my working hours... we don’t have any help other than after school club. I still have an empty washing basket and spotless house.

Well you probably have a spotless house because you're never in it! Or if you are you're running a business not running after a 3 year old!

Let him starve then, the lazy twat.