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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pretty certain DH has forgotten my birthday

686 replies

BirthdayBlueSx · 19/06/2019 17:39

Today is my 30th birthday, I knew my DH was due to work today but if mine or his birthday fall on a weekday he usually takes a days holiday or at least a half day as a surprise and we go for lunch. He will usually say he can’t get time off and will suprise me in the morning or will come home early.

He hasn’t taken a half day as he didn’t come home at lunch but he’s just messaged saying he’s doing overtime until 8pm. Had a chat over messages and he’s not mentioned my birthday at all. I’m not going to remind him, if he’s forgotten so be it.

About 6 weeks ago he asked me to send a gift list to him. I did with links, a pair of shoes for £50 a bottle of spirt and a box of chocolates and said that he could get them in the local supermarket. He asked me to order the shoes so I did and put them unopened in his wardrobe.

On the weekend he told me not to expect anything for my birthday apart from the shoes as he’s not had time to get anything. Despite driving past the supermarket every single day and stopping for fuel at least twice a week.

I feel disappointed, my DHs 40th was last year and I got him some thoughtful gifts, organized a suprise meal with his family and close friends and took him on a city mini-break and sorted flights hotel and sports tickets so we could see a event he’s always wanted to see and even booked the time off without him knowing a thing.

My parents gave me a card with some money at the weekend and said they would sort something at a later date for a meal out as know doubt I would bust with either friends or DH and the kids.

None of my close friends have acknowledged it either, not even any plans later in the week. They have all had their big birthdays and we’ve done spa day, cream teas, and 2 weekends away.

AIBU to be a bit sad about it that no ones remembered?

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 19/06/2019 18:36

Happy birthday!!

I'd be raging. My DH left it too late to do anything for Mother's Day this, even buy a card, and I was furious at that. If he forgot my birthday I'd be so annoyed.

OhioOhioOhio · 19/06/2019 18:37

Happy Birthday!

Hanab · 19/06/2019 18:37

Happy birthday OP 🎉 hopefully all these people who have seemed to forget about your birthday are planning a surprise 🤞

Whatnotea · 19/06/2019 18:38

Do you have access to his credit card, order yourself a nice new handbag to go with the shoes, a take away for one and go and buy a bottle of champagne from the super market & don't share.

Pratt

Mumofthreeboys123 · 19/06/2019 18:38

Happy birthday 🎂

Delatron · 19/06/2019 18:38

I agreed he was shit to forget. I would have been chatting about plans for the few days before though? I would have said the night before about arrangements. He asked about the list a few weeks ago? Did they not chat about plans after that?

It’s not the OP’s, fault it’s just a shame she has had a crap birthday. Maybe it’s me. I wouldn’t have been able to keep quiet about my birthday in the run up. Sorry OP and I hope he pulls something out if he bag.

MargaretHoulihan · 19/06/2019 18:39

I'm with the "surprise party" camp. Surely your OH, parents and best friends couldn't all be so simultaneously crap.

Buddyelf · 19/06/2019 18:39

Oh OP that’s crap! Happy Birthday Flowers like a pp has said even if he comes home with a surprise you’ve had a whole day of feeling like your DH has forgotten your birthday and that’s rubbish.
I hope he makes it up to you I really do.

EmExtra · 19/06/2019 18:39

Happy 30th birthday op! I really, really hope he’s just acting and you actually have a lovely surprise in store later, if not please do as pp’s have said and go out on your own when he gets in and then do lots of online shopping, you deserve better!!

bebeboeuf · 19/06/2019 18:39

Happy birthday!
I’m sure if he’s forgotten he will be mortified and make it up to you

ButtonMoonLoon · 19/06/2019 18:39

Well I certainly wouldn’t be sitting at home waiting for him when he gets in. Go out, take the kids to the cinema, for dinner -anything except staying home alone. And go and get the shoes and wear them!

Delatron · 19/06/2019 18:40

I still think even if there’s a surprise party it won’t make up for the OP feeling crap all day on her birthday.

floppyflop · 19/06/2019 18:41

Happy birthday!!!
Has he not even wished you a happy birthday?? Xxx

Dowser · 19/06/2019 18:42

Happy birthday op
Hope you get a lovely surprise
My dad this to my mum..organised a surprise anniversary do for their 30 or 40 th

She as so upset as she felt ignored all day

mummyhaschangedhername · 19/06/2019 18:42

Oh no! I'm so sorry! That is rubbish! Happy Birthday!

BummyKnocker · 19/06/2019 18:43

Well I certainly wouldn’t be sitting at home waiting for him when he gets in. Go out, take the kids to the cinema, for dinner -anything except staying home alone. And go and get the shoes and wear them!

^ Please do this, don't let your anger with him spoil the while day, take control, celebrate! Happy birthday Flowers

LennieLou · 19/06/2019 18:43

Happy birthday. I really hope there's a surprise for you Smile

crosspelican · 19/06/2019 18:44

Happy birthday!! WineWineWineThanksThanksCakeCakeCake

Bouledeneige · 19/06/2019 18:44

Happy birthday OP! I hope he brings you home something nice.

Why didn't you arrange going out for drinks or dinner with him or friends yourself? No one would do anything for me if I didn't arrange it. You could still arrange something with friends for later in the week. Or text a mate if they live nearby for a drink tonight? (If you don't need babysitters that is).

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 19/06/2019 18:45

Happy birthday! Even if he'd forgotten this morning surely at work it would be on his radar what date it was?!

DaisyDaisydoo · 19/06/2019 18:45

Happy Birthday 🥳

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 19/06/2019 18:45

I've always thought surprise parties/events where everyone 'forgets' to send cards/messages in the morning are cruel... It just makes you feel as everyone has forgotten... So you feel shit all day...

I do hope he has pulled something out of the bag! If not please so what someone up thread suggested... Quietly tell him y9u are hurt esp when you make such an effort and for him to arrange something special next weekend... Or you'll be reviewing your efforts for him...

Happy birthday OPCake

Starlight456 · 19/06/2019 18:46

I hope he has something planned although his whole attitude subject . I would want my birthday acknowledged by a card at least.

I think surprise lunch every year is stupid . Waiting around to see if he wants to supine you

ThatsUnusual · 19/06/2019 18:46

I really, really hope he hasn't forgotten.

You were so thoughtful for his 40th, he's a bloody selfish prick if he doesn't do something.

What's he normally like on your birthday? My DH is shocking, he cares but he lacks the thoughtful gene. I book a holiday for my birthdays now and treat myself!

Jojowash · 19/06/2019 18:46

Happy Birthday chick x

Men are rubbish