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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pretty certain DH has forgotten my birthday

686 replies

BirthdayBlueSx · 19/06/2019 17:39

Today is my 30th birthday, I knew my DH was due to work today but if mine or his birthday fall on a weekday he usually takes a days holiday or at least a half day as a surprise and we go for lunch. He will usually say he can’t get time off and will suprise me in the morning or will come home early.

He hasn’t taken a half day as he didn’t come home at lunch but he’s just messaged saying he’s doing overtime until 8pm. Had a chat over messages and he’s not mentioned my birthday at all. I’m not going to remind him, if he’s forgotten so be it.

About 6 weeks ago he asked me to send a gift list to him. I did with links, a pair of shoes for £50 a bottle of spirt and a box of chocolates and said that he could get them in the local supermarket. He asked me to order the shoes so I did and put them unopened in his wardrobe.

On the weekend he told me not to expect anything for my birthday apart from the shoes as he’s not had time to get anything. Despite driving past the supermarket every single day and stopping for fuel at least twice a week.

I feel disappointed, my DHs 40th was last year and I got him some thoughtful gifts, organized a suprise meal with his family and close friends and took him on a city mini-break and sorted flights hotel and sports tickets so we could see a event he’s always wanted to see and even booked the time off without him knowing a thing.

My parents gave me a card with some money at the weekend and said they would sort something at a later date for a meal out as know doubt I would bust with either friends or DH and the kids.

None of my close friends have acknowledged it either, not even any plans later in the week. They have all had their big birthdays and we’ve done spa day, cream teas, and 2 weekends away.

AIBU to be a bit sad about it that no ones remembered?

OP posts:
Lipz · 19/06/2019 19:03

It's an hour since she posted. Maybe he came home and they've headed out somewhere to celebrate.

justasking111 · 19/06/2019 19:03

Oh I hope there is a surprise, my OH has forgotten but my friends never do.

ParmaViolet44 · 19/06/2019 19:04

So sorry OP. I'm definitely with the people telling you to go out and do something for yourself! If it's too late tonight maybe this weekend? Friends I can sort of understand forgetting if they're busy but your DH's efforts sound piss poor all round.

DH forgot our anniversary last year and it really hurts. Happy Birthday to you! Flowers Wine

BirthdayBlueSx · 19/06/2019 19:06

Thanks for all the birthday wishes.

He’s never forgotten my birthday before, valentines and our anniversary he has.
I know there will be no surprise at the weekend as he’s away with his hobby. And that’s genuine as I booked the hotel and tickets.

I was worried I was being ungrateful but it’s the lack of effort that bothers me. He has a habit of throwing money at Xmas and birthday gifts rather than something small and meaningful. I appreciate the small things. Even if there was no gifts just a card, a banner and a cake I would be made up with that.

I can’t get myself out to dinner as it’s going to be too late when he comes home and the kids need feeding but I’ve ordered a takeaway.

😂 Nixen funny you mentioned that as I’ve been eyeing up the Seaton for a while.

When friends have had theirs they have organized it themselves but I always take my friends out for a birthday lunch / dinner. I didn’t want to organize something like that as it’s just not me with all the expense and extravagance.

Ah Mickey I’m sorry your also having a shit day. Happy Birthday to you.

OP posts:
TripleASays · 19/06/2019 19:08

Happy Birthday! Hoping he's got an awesome surprise lined up for you x

Mrsgandy · 19/06/2019 19:10

Happy birthday Blue . I have been there myself on those occasions. Now I tell my husband and kids to get me book vouchers or beautician vouchers and if I feel like it I book a meal .
Sad but true .
Hope you enjoy your takeaway and text your husband to bring home a pint of ice cream 🍨

ThatsUnusual · 19/06/2019 19:12

You sound lovely, OP.

I'd be livid.

And leaving him.

eddielizzard · 19/06/2019 19:13

Happy birthday Flowers

I'm taking you out for a virtual cream tea with your mates right now...

TheGrapefulDread · 19/06/2019 19:13

CakeGinGlitterballWineFlowers

Happy Birthday. I would gift myself cancelling his weekend away !

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 19/06/2019 19:14

Happy Birthday 🥳

PCohle · 19/06/2019 19:15

Happy birthday OP Thanks

Sorry your DH has been so shite.

LoveB · 19/06/2019 19:18

Happy birthday Flowers

I'm so sorry your DH forgot, I'd be so disappointed. Make the most of guilt tripping him.

NotNowNinja · 19/06/2019 19:19

Happy birthday op enjoy the takeaway sod dh

icantstopeatingg · 19/06/2019 19:22

Huge happy birthday op 💐🎈

CcarparkCha0s3 · 19/06/2019 19:23

Big birthday !
Happy 30th birthday !

TrixieFranklin · 19/06/2019 19:24

Happy Birthday OP, he's a shit.

Jamhandprints · 19/06/2019 19:26

How old are your kids OP? Enjoy your take away. Don't save any for that idiot. Do your parents live nearby? If I were you I'd organise going out for Sunday lunch with them and the kids. Cake Flowers

GraceSlicksRabbit · 19/06/2019 19:26

How old are your kids? He should also have made sure that they had a card and present to give you.

category12 · 19/06/2019 19:27

I didn’t want to organize something like that as it’s just not me with all the expense and extravagance
But then it's not really reasonable to pout because nothing is happening with your birthday (with your friends).

OTOH, your dh is a git.

Happy birthday. Cake

BumandChips · 19/06/2019 19:27

I hope the take away isn’t for him as well. Make sure he gets none of it.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 19/06/2019 19:28

An ex of mine once forgot my birthday. He then proceeded to blame me for not having reminded him, and accused me of deliberately setting him up to forget, because I was more concerned with playing the martyr.
Note, he's an ex.

Raera · 19/06/2019 19:29

Happy Birthday sweetheart
xx

Saharafordessert · 19/06/2019 19:29

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday 🥳 xx

billy1966 · 19/06/2019 19:30

Poor OP.

I would be very hurt.
I really would.
I'd let him know too.

Screw this, always pretending not to want to make a fuss.

When we keep quiet to keep the peace, we only create a war inside ourselves.

I am a very low maintenance woman, but a 30 birthday should be acknowledged.

A very happy birthday to you.

twinnywinny14 · 19/06/2019 19:31

How awful, poor you. Happy birthday xx

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