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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pretty certain DH has forgotten my birthday

686 replies

BirthdayBlueSx · 19/06/2019 17:39

Today is my 30th birthday, I knew my DH was due to work today but if mine or his birthday fall on a weekday he usually takes a days holiday or at least a half day as a surprise and we go for lunch. He will usually say he can’t get time off and will suprise me in the morning or will come home early.

He hasn’t taken a half day as he didn’t come home at lunch but he’s just messaged saying he’s doing overtime until 8pm. Had a chat over messages and he’s not mentioned my birthday at all. I’m not going to remind him, if he’s forgotten so be it.

About 6 weeks ago he asked me to send a gift list to him. I did with links, a pair of shoes for £50 a bottle of spirt and a box of chocolates and said that he could get them in the local supermarket. He asked me to order the shoes so I did and put them unopened in his wardrobe.

On the weekend he told me not to expect anything for my birthday apart from the shoes as he’s not had time to get anything. Despite driving past the supermarket every single day and stopping for fuel at least twice a week.

I feel disappointed, my DHs 40th was last year and I got him some thoughtful gifts, organized a suprise meal with his family and close friends and took him on a city mini-break and sorted flights hotel and sports tickets so we could see a event he’s always wanted to see and even booked the time off without him knowing a thing.

My parents gave me a card with some money at the weekend and said they would sort something at a later date for a meal out as know doubt I would bust with either friends or DH and the kids.

None of my close friends have acknowledged it either, not even any plans later in the week. They have all had their big birthdays and we’ve done spa day, cream teas, and 2 weekends away.

AIBU to be a bit sad about it that no ones remembered?

OP posts:
Yellowpolkadot · 19/06/2019 21:20

Happy birthday, I’m hoping he turns up with an awesome surprise

Cryalot2 · 19/06/2019 21:20

CakeFlowers hugs op and a very happy birthday. I hope for your sake that there has been a pleasant surprise

Ravingstarfish · 19/06/2019 21:20

Happy Birthday Flowers

ISmellBabies · 19/06/2019 21:21

Happy birthday op, hopefully you're already enjoying a lovely surprise, even if it is really crap he had to work late today.

cupofteaandcake · 19/06/2019 21:23

Firstly Happy Birthday to You!

Another day, another 'he forgot my birthday thread'. This happens all too often and it really isn't acceptable. I wouldn't actually be saying anything when he gets in however I would be booking myself something over the next few days/at the weekend. In future I would (and do) be booking something for myself on my birthday and I would be making minimum effort for his.

andadietcoke · 19/06/2019 21:25

I'm not a birthday person at all. As in I actively avoid marking it, but even I would be pissed off if I wasn't wished a happy birthday by DH.

Hope you enjoyed your Chinese with the DCs, happy birthday xx

BobbyBrewstersMagicTorch · 19/06/2019 21:28

Happy Birthday OP. DH forgot my 30th too, although we weren't married then.
I'm sure he'll feel awful when he realises.

youwouldthink · 19/06/2019 21:30

Happy birthday to you. . Sorry it's been a bit rubbish x

squirrelclub · 19/06/2019 21:31

Happy birthday!

Millie2018 · 19/06/2019 21:31

Happy Birthday OP. I don’t know how you’ve managed not to say anything all day! I hope he is doing some major grovelling.

Mammyloveswine · 19/06/2019 21:33

Ah op hope your dh has surprised you!

Bloody shocking behaviour if not!

ScrimshawTheSecond · 19/06/2019 21:38

Happy birthday! xxx Flowers

BiscuitDrama · 19/06/2019 21:39

Happy birthday!! I’m also sorry you’ve been let down.

AshQ · 19/06/2019 21:40

Happy birthday Flowers

BlackCatSleeping · 19/06/2019 21:41

Happy Birthday!!

Hope he arrived home with some nice presents for you.

If not, maybe it's time for a chat about what's going on with him that he hasn't made any effort.

Chimchar · 19/06/2019 21:41

Happy Birthday @BirthdayBlueSx
I'm sorry you've had a rubbish day. I hope it's ending better than it started. X

Iris1654 · 19/06/2019 21:43

Oh I came back to look for an update..

Lovethetimeyouhave · 19/06/2019 21:43

Happy b day

nanbread · 19/06/2019 21:44

Happy birthday, are your DC old enough to remind him when he gets in? As I'm sure they'll mention it if yes...

goldface · 19/06/2019 21:44

Happy Birthday xxx I hope some of your day has been salvaged? If not maybe an early night and some serious talking tomorrow x

LuckyAmy1986 · 19/06/2019 21:45

Oh I came back to look for an update
???
This is someone’s life not a soap opera. You sounds most disappointed you haven’t got your update!

BirthdayBlueSx · 19/06/2019 21:45

He came back from work, as soon as he stepped foot through the door starts moaning about work. Ended up having a row about his hobby (relatively new hobby BTW but it’s taking over his life)

Asked him if he had forgotten my birthday and his face dropped. Yep, he had. He went up and got my shoes still wrapped in the packaging he’d not open it or wrapped it. And nothing else. My fault apparently for being disappointed as he did tell me on the weekend he hadn’t got me anything. He did

But what really pisses me off is he stopped off at the garage on the way home for some beers (not for me I don’t drink beer) he does this a couple of times a week. Not once did he think il get some chocolates or a bottle of wine or F-all for me.

OP posts:
nanbread · 19/06/2019 21:45

And I know this isn't helpful but if my DH forgot my 30th or equally big birthday I'd be so pissed off. I'm not really precious about gifts and stuff like that, but to completely forget is shit. Is he extremely stressed with work or something like that at the moment?

MonstranceClock · 19/06/2019 21:46

As you've not updated I really hope you're out getting smashed on birthday cocktails!!

nanbread · 19/06/2019 21:46

Sorry x posted.

I hope he's gone straight back out to get you wine and choc!!