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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pretty certain DH has forgotten my birthday

686 replies

BirthdayBlueSx · 19/06/2019 17:39

Today is my 30th birthday, I knew my DH was due to work today but if mine or his birthday fall on a weekday he usually takes a days holiday or at least a half day as a surprise and we go for lunch. He will usually say he can’t get time off and will suprise me in the morning or will come home early.

He hasn’t taken a half day as he didn’t come home at lunch but he’s just messaged saying he’s doing overtime until 8pm. Had a chat over messages and he’s not mentioned my birthday at all. I’m not going to remind him, if he’s forgotten so be it.

About 6 weeks ago he asked me to send a gift list to him. I did with links, a pair of shoes for £50 a bottle of spirt and a box of chocolates and said that he could get them in the local supermarket. He asked me to order the shoes so I did and put them unopened in his wardrobe.

On the weekend he told me not to expect anything for my birthday apart from the shoes as he’s not had time to get anything. Despite driving past the supermarket every single day and stopping for fuel at least twice a week.

I feel disappointed, my DHs 40th was last year and I got him some thoughtful gifts, organized a suprise meal with his family and close friends and took him on a city mini-break and sorted flights hotel and sports tickets so we could see a event he’s always wanted to see and even booked the time off without him knowing a thing.

My parents gave me a card with some money at the weekend and said they would sort something at a later date for a meal out as know doubt I would bust with either friends or DH and the kids.

None of my close friends have acknowledged it either, not even any plans later in the week. They have all had their big birthdays and we’ve done spa day, cream teas, and 2 weekends away.

AIBU to be a bit sad about it that no ones remembered?

OP posts:
LlamaShark · 19/06/2019 20:59

Happy birthday OP Cake

Darksideofthemoon19 · 19/06/2019 20:59

Happy birthday!!

MintyT · 19/06/2019 21:02

Wait until you get into bed to night and tell him it's your 30th birthday

ToPlanZ · 19/06/2019 21:03

Happy birthday OP, sorry it's been crap. I feel for you WineCakeFlowers

ThatCurlyGirl · 19/06/2019 21:04

@honeygirlz I think you're being very kind to think the best of @TheWernethWife but she didn't say anything like that in her first comment on here, she literally just said her husband took her to Paris for the weekend for her birthday.

There was no other context about how partners view men / values in a relationship etc. Its not a leap for most of us to think it was mean spirited and basic showing off.

Personally I think it's nice to see almost everyone having the OPs back on this and hope it's made her feel a little better or at least a little reassured she isn't silly to be upset about this.

Hope you're ok OP 

UrsulaPandress · 19/06/2019 21:04

When DH forgot mine, I’d taken the day off work to ride my horse. He’d been phoning and couldn’t get through and asked who I’d been talking to. When I said mum he asked what she had to say. I told him she had phoned to say Happy Birthday. Cue silence.

Flowers arrived an hour later.

JaneGlorianaVillanueva · 19/06/2019 21:06

Happy birthday! CakeFlowersWine

littlepeaegg · 19/06/2019 21:06

Happy 30th!!!!

I feel really sorry for you :( I'd be absolutely gutted. My partner doesn't have a choice about forgetting about my birthdays as I countdown haha. But if I didn't and he didn't remember id be livid!!!!

Princessphoebe75 · 19/06/2019 21:06

Happy 30th OP Flowers Cake
What happened when your DH came home from work? Really hope he had remembered

ThatsUnusual · 19/06/2019 21:07

@honeygirlz there's a big difference between saying 'you deserve better, OP, your DH is a shithead for forgetting' and posting an obvious fucking insensitive gloat.

WhiteDust · 19/06/2019 21:07

Happy Birthday OP! Did you put the shoes on?

KatnissMellark · 19/06/2019 21:08

Hope he's suitably sheepish when he realises and does some grovelling!

Where do you live OP? You need a Mumsnet meet up in honour of your birthday. Id come and buy you a drink Wine

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 19/06/2019 21:10

Happy Birthday OP!

So sorry this has happened.
I would be very direct with your H and say. «Today was my 30th birthday and you forgot. How are you going to make it up to me?»

MrsMyreton · 19/06/2019 21:11

Happy birthday OP ThanksCake

MamaOfBothTeams · 19/06/2019 21:12

Happy birthday OP Thanks

FilledSoda · 19/06/2019 21:13

CakeCakeCakeHappy Birthday OPCakeCakeCake

Janella · 19/06/2019 21:14

Happy birthday WineThanks

Ravenesque · 19/06/2019 21:15

I hope OP is unable to come to the computer because her DH is treating her like a queen and it's all be subterfuge and he's brought home a massive and wonderful surprise.

If not then I hope his cock rots.

Marmighty · 19/06/2019 21:16

Happy birthday OP! I didn't get what I wanted for my 30th birthday. So I've spent my 30s getting more assertive and clear about what I do and don't want, both for special occasions and the day to day. I've got big plans for my 40th in a couple of years and have made damn sure DH knows what they are and what's expected!

Elllicam · 19/06/2019 21:16

Happy birthday OP! I hope he remembered.

Sexnotgender · 19/06/2019 21:17

What a shit!

Happy Birthday CakeFlowers

OneMoreWish · 19/06/2019 21:18

Happy Birthday xxxx

Bunnica15 · 19/06/2019 21:18

I’ve scrolled right to the end hoping there would be an update that he’s not forgotten.. sorry to hear you’ve had a crap day x

Maddiemademe · 19/06/2019 21:19

Happy Birthday!!! I had the same idea n my 30th, spent the day with my toddler, pregnant so wasn’t able to drink and my ex didn’t even turn up. Difference was he knew it was my birthday he just didn’t give a shit. Spent the evening by myself in tears. Really hope he comes home with a surprise but unfortunately I think the selfish tosser has forgotten Angry

WishUponAStar88 · 19/06/2019 21:19

Happy birthday op sorry your husband has been shit Flowers