To hate the - why can people not manage without meat for a day?

[jennymanara]

I have a vegan friend who is a bit extreme about it, also have several vegan friends who are not. But this one friend pushes for everything to be meat free. Barbecues together, meals at someone's house, weekends away. Her favourite saying around this is that she can not understand how on earth people can't manage not to have one day, or one meal, or one weekend without meat. My answer is always that the occasion is supposed to be fun, and that means people eating what they want to eat. She always says it is pretty sad if people can not have fun without eating a dead animal.

I’m vegan and wouldn’t ask others to go meat free for me. But she has a point. Surely the extreme thing is if it’s only fun if an animal has been killed for the occasion?

we can all manage, we could even manage on a few roots a day, but life is about more than "managing". Meat tastes good 🤷

I have been to many parties where a lamb or even a sheep was killed and roasted whole.

It tasted delicious but I am guessing your friend wouldn't be too pleased either.

I think it depends who is organising and paying for the celebration. If it is her- absolutely, she is completely entitled to make it a wholly vegan celebration. She can't control what others eat or serve whilst she is a guest though.

I am vegetarian, so is my fiancé. When we get married, we are planning a wholly vegetarian meal for after. I agree it is sad that people cannot have fun without killing a poor animal- when I organise and pay for the event, only then do I get to make that choice for the day for others.

Why are you friends with this person?
Thin end of the wedge.

speakingofresearch.com/extremism-undone/ar-extremism/
www.animalrightsextremism.info/

I suppose you could also argue why your vegan friend can't survive with meat for one day. She wouldn't just eat meat `for day so it is pretty unreasonable for her to expect others to do the same for her. Not having meat when it is the main part of most meals is a big thing.

I would suggest to her that she hosts more and makes lovely vegan meals for everyone and show them how tasty vegan food can be. But calling meat 'a dead animal' to soeone who isnt vegan is pushy and it just wont change their mind, infact theyre probably going to make people fight harder and hate vegans etc.

equate it to someone pushing religion on someone else. its fine to be a christian or muslim but if they start going on about how abortion is wrong and gays are wrong etc... well people don't like it.

Best way is to host a party and make lovely food (probably best for her to make just vegetarian not all vegan as people are more likely to switch to vegetarian as it is less strict and more of what people already know- and i know the dairy industry is heartbreaking but)
and share her recipes and maybe a few of them one day a week or so will have her recipe and thats a few animals saved.

Not vegan but haven’t eaten meat for many, many years. I don’t attend BBQs because I find the smell utterly revolting. I wouldn’t stop anyone else eating meat but I can’t bear to be around it cooking, it stinks.

My DP is a meat eater but generally doesn’t eat it because he knows how revolting I find the smell. He has cooked bacon twice since we moved in together and both times I had to leave the house until the smell had gone. I know that sounds extreme, the smell of pork in particular just makes me heave.

Of course people can have fun without eating a dead animal, but it is reasonable to enjoy the food they like to eat.

Find some food she doesnt like and serve it to her at dinner next time. Did she have fun? No, because someone forced her to eat food she wouldnt have chosen and doesnt like.

She sounds like a right bore and I wouldnt bother inviting her next time.

I can totally see why she is upset by it though, once you open your eyes to a problem it is pretty hard to shut them. but you cant push others to see what you see through nagging. she really needs to just make people food and try to get them to taste the difference

These are occasions where we are all paying - chipping in. Of course when she say invites people round it is absolutely fine for all the food to be vegan. I have no issue with that and have eaten lovely vegan meals she has made.

I think to a certain extent, she's right. It's absolutely fine to have a meatless meal or a completely vegan meal when it's important for someone else's wishes. If it's her birthday meal out or she's invited you over to her house for dinner or a BBQ or whatever, yes, it's totally reasonable that you can eat a vegetarian or vegan meal. She's the host, she gets to pick what she serves or the kind of restaurant she wants to go to for her birthday or whatever. I have vegetarian family members and we go days without eating any meat when we visit them. Perfectly fine by me.

But I don't think it's okay to dictate what you eat when you're in her presence, like if she comes over to your house, she should be provided with something vegan to eat (or coordinate with her to bring her own). But I don't think that means you can't eat meat in your own house if you provide an alternative. Same for meals out unless it's for a special occasion and you're sharing food or it's a vegetarian restaurant for her birthday, etc.

I was a vegetarian for 20 years. I never cared what other people ate as long as they didn't expect me to eat it too.

This is about occasions when we are all chipping in money or food. Not one person hosting.

As a non meat eater , I shudder when people chew on dead flesh

However I do cook meat for others as my husband is a flesh eater , and I would still go to a bbq that served meat

I shudder when people chew on dead flesh

I always wonder if people try to gross us out when they come up with these sentence. I never works though, we know that meat is dead animal, and it's better than eating alive and raw. It's not going to put anyone off their burgers.

my husband is a flesh eater that just makes him sound like Hannibal Lector and you sound silly.

My kids and I are trying to go vegetarian. We've been doing veggie during the week and only having non-veggie at weekends. It's been going well. I'm getting better at cooking veggie meals. But today is my birthday, it's a work day like any other and have school and sports clubs like any other so I want to eat whatever I want for dinner tonight! Which I think is chicken wings!
I understand meat being bad, and dairy industry being horrible and am changing the family habits, but if I were having a get together for a special occasion then I think i'd be a bit annoyed if I was told I couldn't choose what to eat.

''it is sad that people cannot have fun without killing a poor animal''

Oh God. Really? What a daft PA thing to say.

People eating meat at bbq's and weddings and whenever aren't having fun because they're ''killing'' anything. They're not all tearing about laughing with blood down their fronts chasing livestock are they? They're just eating the food they like.

The killing animals statement is just as ridiculous as if someone said a bride organising a vegan wedding meal means she'd be lolling around sobbing about dead animals, or foraging in the hedges for vegetables instead of enjoying her wedding day. She's just eating the food she wants to eat as well. As we all do.

Why the daft language always from some posters on this subject?

Just meet her drama llama protestations with increasing apathy..."ah, but some dead animals taste a-m-azing" and then repeat it until she realises that you're/ you're friendship group are a lost cause.

I always wonder if people try to gross us out when they come up with these sentence. I never works though, we know that meat is dead animal, and it's better than eating alive and raw. It's not going to put anyone off their burgers.

I find myself contemplating the same thing, in a meditative manner, as I chow down on a nice thick juicy steak, done nicely rare. . .while eyeing up the chicken kebabs. And pondering the lamb chops. . .

It's also sad that people can't wear clothes that don't come from child labour, but is your friend as militant about that? I'd say that should be a priority over changing the omnivore in us.

Your, even .

Was listening to a phone in this morning....
Word for word ..
I want to go vegan, but can't do without some products, so will do a years as vegetarian first just to check. ..

Oh God, now I'm craving a bbq.

I shudder when people chew on dead flesh

That actually made me fancy a nice steak, I enjoy chewing on dead flesh. Still horses for courses, let's just let everyone enjoy eating what they want to eh?

^disclaimer - not actually condoning eating horses

I have horse meat, it was nothing to write about. I much prefer lamb and veal, or just our usual cows.