To hate the - why can people not manage without meat for a day?

[jennymanara]

I have a vegan friend who is a bit extreme about it, also have several vegan friends who are not. But this one friend pushes for everything to be meat free. Barbecues together, meals at someone's house, weekends away. Her favourite saying around this is that she can not understand how on earth people can't manage not to have one day, or one meal, or one weekend without meat. My answer is always that the occasion is supposed to be fun, and that means people eating what they want to eat. She always says it is pretty sad if people can not have fun without eating a dead animal.

And your friend is why vegans get a bad name. Eat what you wan. I have a fairly restrictive diet for a number of reasons. I don't wax lyrical or inflict it on others.

*I have HAD

I am not stocking horse carcasses in the spare room

She would be justified in upset if people were complaining about a tasty meal she planned simply because it lacked animal products.

Just because people happen to be eating meat at a bbq does not mean they have not had other meatless meals or days recently. So her statement doesn’t even make sense.

It seems she really must be upset that they are eating meat in front of her.

EarlGreyOfTwinings you just made me LOL at my desk

Oooh all this talk of dead flesh and bbqs is making me hungry. A nice juicy burger...

Its up to the host what is served.

If the host is veggie/vegan then I would accept the food would also be veggie/vegan. I would suck it up and try whatever is offered (and then get a kebab on the way home if I was still hungry)

If I was hosting, there would be meat. If a veggie was coming, I would do a meat free option. If there was a vegan coming - I would try but in all honestly fail at cooking for them.

Everyone chipping in - meat and veggie dishes.

YANBU

The way I see it she's perfectly entitled to ask everyone to skip meat for a day, but you're perfectly entitled to politely decline and have what you want.

If she makes an issue of it then she is being an arse.

I remember organising a work function for a steakhouse. Ooopsies. The vegans were not happy. (They were very well catered for at the venue, by the way). On the other hand, the meateaters - a huge majority - were.

She always says it is pretty sad if people can not have fun without eating a dead animal.

Argh! This sort of intolerance makes me fume! I don't criticize my Vegan friends for only eating plants, and they don't criticize me for liking to eat animal flesh. That is, after all, the point of a BBQ.

She would be the sort of friend I could have fun without.

If she's hosting the event then yes people should live without meat for that one event. If someone else is doing the cooking then they should cater for vegan friend but not necessary have the entire event vegan.

disclaimer - not actually condoning eating horses

Depends if you buy Findus or not @purplelass

What beats me is that many Vegans expect me to have a meat-free option at a dinner party, but almost never do they offer me a meat option.

I'd laugh in her face then noisily chomp down on a rareleg of lamb laughing manically while the juices ran down my chin.

It's just not where we are culturally at the moment, is it?

Eating meat is considered completely normal and people are entitled to eat the food they enjoy at a party they are hosting or joint hosting. It's not about "managing without".

If at some point eating meat becomes a bit unusual and socially unacceptable she may have more of a reasonable expectation that she won't encounter it everywhere.

Alot of what we consider reasonable or unreasonable is our culture after all.

I think your friend has a point TO a point. I would be very happy to attend a vegan themed dinner party. We could all do with a meat free day each week. That said I draw the line at attending a vegan BBQ!!!! Sounds awful. People only eat the meat at those things — salads get shoved back in the fridge.

If a vegan friend was hosting a bbq and serving only vegan food then I'd be perfectly happy to go along, and I would agree that it would be very pathetic of someone not to go along just because the food happened to be vegan. But if someone else who isn't vegan had organised the event then it's entirely up to them what food they serve, and I would say it's pathetic of her to not be able to tolerate it and expect everyone else there to make the same food choices that she does. Tolerance should go both ways.

creakingknees

As a non meat eater , I shudder when people chew on dead flesh

Weird, I’d find someone eating live flesh much more disturbing.

Oh hang on, were you trying to use overdramatic hyperbole to try to flourish your way through a point that would have been made much better if you’d used straightforward language, and are now regretting looking like a bit of a fool? Sorry it backfired on you, but a good lesson to learn.

Your vegan friend is vegan probably due to the animal cruelty aspect.

I suppose for her - eating ie. Pig, its the same as how we view the Korean dog meat trade. Very few of us Brits would eat puppy/dog meat and would hate to see such trade in our country - and think it cruel. She feels the same not just about the dog meat trade but about all other animals.

BTW, Im veggie but cook meat for the rest of the family.

What beats me is that many Vegans expect me to have a meat-free option at a dinner party, but almost never do they offer me a meat option.

Why do people make this stupid point? If someone with an allergy to mushrooms is hosting a dinner party do you expect to be offered an alternative dish which included mushrooms? Just because you eat a certain ingredient (e.g. meat) does not mean you can expect it to be provided at every meal. That said the vegan would be unreasonable to expect you to only provide vegan food at your dinner party as long as you did a dish for them.

I have vegan friends and i love the food. I firmly told them i would hunt if i had to survive though. ( hypothetical.)

I don't give a shiny gold plated shit what anyone else eats as long as there is something suitable (and yummy) for me to eat at the same occasion/venue.

My dietary choices don't trump anyone else's but by the same token others don't trump mine either.

As an example my friend has recently had to have a very quite restricted diet for health reasons. When we meet we both compromise on venue so we find somewhere that has a menu choice that means both of us can find a meal that we can enjoy.
Isn't that what reasonable adults do?

Stop hating on vegans!!! Any nice food cooked well is fun to eat isn't it? I really do not believe anyone has got to eat meat to have fun!!! Try being less entitled. It is not a hardship to eat vegan or veggie food at a BBQ. FFS, be grateful and stop whining about nothing. I speak as an omnivore.

What are her good qualities as a friend, OP? Because she sounds like an immature, attention-seeking self-righteous twat.
As PP have said, when she's hosting she can choose a meatless menu, but not everything is about her and her preferences when you are eating out as a group, or at someone else's house. You can either tell her gently that she needs to wind her neck in on the subject now because you're all bored with it, or just take the piss out of her by ordering the meatiest meat you can think of untill she runs off crying.

Why not eat a horse though? Cows, beef cattles, lambs and pigs etc. are just as intelligent as horses.

I'm not vegan but I do find some people's opinions about eating animals a bit strange.

Ask if they find their hair-shirt itchy.
If these people cannot bear to be at an event where others have different ideas to theirs then they should stay at home.