To hate the - why can people not manage without meat for a day?

[jennymanara]

I have a vegan friend who is a bit extreme about it, also have several vegan friends who are not. But this one friend pushes for everything to be meat free. Barbecues together, meals at someone's house, weekends away. Her favourite saying around this is that she can not understand how on earth people can't manage not to have one day, or one meal, or one weekend without meat. My answer is always that the occasion is supposed to be fun, and that means people eating what they want to eat. She always says it is pretty sad if people can not have fun without eating a dead animal.

What if they haven't eaten meat all week and have a burger at a bbq?? Lots of people have meat free days now. How does she know what they have eaten all week??

I tend to do a day or 2 a week without meat purely by chance.

It's a bit like when my mum sniffs at my dietary choices and appetite when I visit them.

When I visit my parents, I am in holiday mode (not to mention we are very actively hiking most of the time with them), so I want to eat good food in hearty portions, and have a drink or two.

The same applies to all of the occasions in the OP - I would be MORE inclined to eat meat on occasions like that because meat so often forms a part of my favourite foods. The whole point is that I don't eat them every day!

I agree that it's rude for her to try to push for people to eat prescribed things when she is not exclusively hosting or paying for them.

But TBH I agree with her that it's weird how much some people get the rage about the idea of an event like a BBQ without meat, and the mentality that meals without meat are somehow lesser.

I think humans have evolved to think of meat as the best bit, the celebratory bit. Presumably we foraged for roots and plants on a daily basis, but a nice juicy hunting kill would have been less frequent.

And thinking about what a previous poster has said, we certainly didn’t evolve with a requirement for full fat dairy. It would just have been breast milk for a few years.

The thing is, in the twenty-first century surely we are far enough removed from purely evolutionary-based and instinctive behaviour that people can celebrate without necessarily having a killed pig or whatever.

The thing is, in the twenty-first century surely we are far enough removed from purely evolutionary-based and instinctive behaviour that people can celebrate without necessarily having a killed pig or whatever

Absolutely. We can shop online and bbq the nice juicy steak that was delivered to our door. . .

some people like to eat meat and choose to eat meat - it's hardly rocket science.

Vegans don't get to control what other people eat, and omnivores have just as much right to choose their foods as vegans do.

Recently there were some threads here with people asking why there is so much negativity towards vegans. Some posts here are the answer. Calling other people's food gross, preaching about poor suffering animals at the table, pushing your choices on other people who are not interested, making the occasion all about you and your eating philosophy - here we go!

I have nothing against vegans in general, eat what you want. But please let others do the same. It's the killjoys poking at other people's food that cause all the hostility and unpleasantness. This doesn't help vegan cause any, by the way...

What really gets me is people being vegan but doing so by eating lots of processed and prepackaged food and meat substitutes, which seems to be more and more the rage. And those evangelical vegans who eat these foods and wear plastic instead of leather but don't give a damn about the plastic footprint or impact of the factories they require - as if those methods are not also killing animals and their habitats.

I think a lot of food companies re just supporting veganism because of all the money to be made in producing it in factories.

Personally I'd rather have locally grown, unprocessed organic food including organic meat, that is grown to suit the local environment, where the whole animal is used respectfully, than rely on kilos of tofu or a factory grown mycoprotein that have come thousands of miles across the globe and are grown in god knows what conditions. Or being vegetarian but with processed substitutes. IMO if you can't eat a complete diet as a veggie/vegan without resorting to factory produced foods for vitamins or protein, then it should not be considered healthy or ethical.

Food miles (because of the associated pollution) used to be a thing... now few people seem to care, but vegan is the new cool 'ethical' virtue signalling thing regardless of whether it is truly sustainable or ethical. Grr.

I would probably respond that I have plenty of meat free days but don’t fancy it on that particular day...

tinklylittlelaugh Not what happens in many hunting and foraging tribes.

I think your friends is on a hiding to nothing trying to dictate what you eat, but I do think she has point, one day isn’t gonna harm you and you never know you actually might find some vegan dishes are quite tasty.

If you took out the word vegan, or vegetarian from the description you’d find some common place meals that you are probably eating already. Perhaps view having a meat free day as a chance to try something different instead of a day of purgatory.

She always says it is pretty sad if people can not have fun without eating a dead animal.

To be fair, she’s not wrong.

Could you do the odd meat free event now and then, to compromise?

Why should we? And that really is not compromising. We do compromise by not cooking strong smelling meat like bacon. We agreed that after one day when someone fried bacon as part of a meal and in fairness the house stunk of bacon. So we have already compromised. Not capitulated though.

one day isn’t gonna harm you and you never know you actually might find some vegan dishes are quite tasty

Actually it sounds like OP and friends have been very open to trying and enjoying vegan food, and also ensuring it is provided when hosting.

However, they also want to eat meat. Which they are perfectly entitled to do.

Vegan friend, if she finds it that miserable to be around people who are eating meat, is of course very free, simply not to attend, rather than sit around like a corpse at a wedding.

plattercake I am with you, we should eat local unprocessed food. Healthier, cheaper and better for the environment!

As for the vegan friend, she is no better than the ones who insist on eating meat all the time. She hasn't learned the are of compromise.

Neither the vegan nor the omnivores need to compromise. The vegan doesn't have to eat meat etc, and the omnivores don't need to not eat meat to appease the vegan's wish to exert control over what they want to eat.

What the vegan needs to learn is the art of tolerance.

If I had a friend who made those kind of comments I'd just not invite them to barbecues or social dinners, and just meet them for (black) coffee.

I have a lot of meat free days (at least 50% of days) as I actually quite like vegetarian food.

But if I go to a barbecue or out for dinner I am 100 percent eating meat and I'm not going to feel guilty. Anyone who tries to make me feel guilty is not someone I want to spend my leisure time with.

Obviously it's different if a vegetarian or vegan invites me over for dinner or a barbecue, I'm more than happy to eat veg /vegan food if they're hosting.

Or is it the art of good manners?

multivac A couple of years ago There was a campaign in England to eat horse (Princess Anne spearheaded it ) The main reason being that horses are better treated in France because they need to be kept in good condition for the butchers.

The number of times you see downtrodden sad horses in nearly naked fields in England is quite surprising given the 'animal lovers' there.

I’m married to a vegetarian. He has no issues with me choosing to eat meat.
If I was on the receiving end of a lecture every time I invited a friend over for free food, I’d stop inviting her.

What is it that your friend is actually asking, are you always eating in steak houses and pubs or something like that.
I'm long time veggie I am fine to go along with the majority don't make a fuss etc, but most pub and restaurants cater predominantly for meat eaters and eating vegetable lasagne and mushroom risotto gets a bit tedious after a bit, I go for the company not the food and do my best to look like I'm enjoying the mostly mediocre food on offer.
But... my friends and partner will also venture with me to veggie and vegan establishments, presumably because they like me ? and sometimes it nice to try something different. You don't sound like you actually like this 'friend' of yours very much, so maybe it would just be best to quietly back away and let her go an find some friends that have similar views to her.

the general tide of change is going against red meat more and more now - mainly for environmental and health reasons. We only eat chicken and fish plus frequently have a veggie meal.

I don't think fish is a very environmentally friendly option either.

But calling meat 'a dead animal' to soeone who isnt vegan is pushy I haven't got past this yet....I'm not vegan or vegetarian but meat is a dead animal! Or part of one at least! I love vegetarian food though and I can't say I'd be bothered about not eating meat again!