To think 4 pints is a lot to drink

[LadderLongLegs]

About twice a week (including every single Friday) DH goes out with his mates and drinks about this much. If it's a special occasion, it's more, but this is the norm.

He thinks of this is very moderate (and to be fair, he drank a LOT more in his youth. He's now 50).

The thing is, I find him really annoying when he comes home from the pub (and wants to noisily eat next to me while I'm watching my sitcoms/whatever), and if I'm honest I find him really unattractive when he's been drinking. It also means he is a pain in the arse every Saturday morning, and has no energy and is in a bad mood all day (though he denies it).

AIBU to be fed up?

I think four pints is not that much for a night out and definitely not uncommon but as others have said I think your problem is less with the pints than with his behaviour. I'd just ask him to leave you alone when he's drunk, in a kind way.

For those saying he shouldn't be hungover, I disagree. I used to drink 4 pints a day and not be hungover in my twenties but after cutting down drastically and having a baby I'm hungover for a whole day after four pints. Same for my (average sized) partner.

Ok Teateaandmoretea point taken, but does your DH repeatedly drink 3 pints twice a week? Most people tend to build up a tolerance to alcohol, so someone who was only drinking 4 which is a pretty conservative amount by most "night out with the lads" standards, shouldn't be still getting hangovers. Maybe the OP's DH is more honest than mine but mine will often deliberately underestimate how many pints he's had if I ask him.

No, but he does drink, at a level lower than that and will regularly drink 1 or 2. He used to when he was younger, he spent a lot of time chucking up , so it didn't actually help him build tolerance. Then he understandably decided it wasnt much fun .

Some people have naturally low tolerance to alcohol.

I think it's a lot and all the people on here saying it doesn't even touch the sides just shows how normalised high alcohol consumption is.

I’m surprised by this thread! 4 pints twice a week is a LOT of alcohol! Way more than the recommended amount. I wouldn’t like it either OP especially if he’s feeling hungover.

Depressing thread.

One of the places I worked, a couple of my colleagues would drink four pints at lunchtime then another twelve in the evening.

I wouldn't have thought it possible if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.

@SunshineSpring but that's an average where they also include non drinkers. I know quite a few people who don't drink. So in reality the consumption is higher for people who drink. We always used to laugh that if other countries saw the real consumption numbers they would be shocked. I am not saying that's amazing or smth. Just saying that 4 pints 2x a week is not as much.

I still wonder how someone who drinks it regularly ends up with hangover. IMHO there are only 2 options. 1. Health issues and 2. Not only 4 pints.

“whereas in Europe it's more about enjoying the company and social aspect, and not getting drunk.”

I can promise you that in “Europe” it’s not normal to nurse one beer for an entire evening. And there are plenty of countries where people get drunk and plenty where people drink far more than the UK

Re: nursing the beer all night.
It's absolutely fine if someone wants just 1 beer, but gosh! I have never ever seen anyone nurse a beer all night. It goes flat and warm. Half pints would be better. Or just drink the beer and then move onto non alcoholic drinks. But like 5 hours old beer? Gives me shivers.

The people who think that drinking 1 pint all night is boring are stuck in their teenage phase and need to grow tf up.

passthecherrycoke I agree on most threads someone trots out some guff about how much better things are in Europe.

Teateaandmoretea Totally agree. There is this fallacy that all Europeans bar the British spend their Saturday nights at a pavement cafe sipping a small wine and wearing immaculately pressed linen

Yeah right. Turn up on a Saturday night to a club in Paris, Dublin, Berlin, Rotterdam etc and the drunkenness is the same as any major U.K. city.

'Paris, Dublin, Berlin, Rotterdam etc'

Tourists. On holiday, off the leash, letting off steam.

In day-to-day, week-to-week, ordinary-life culture, the general attitude to drinking really is different in Europe (at least in those parts of it I know). You never hear anyone calling someone who doesn't drink 'boring' (which I've seen on here a fair bit).
It's not about nursing one glass of wine or one beer all evening, either. You might have one or two, perhaps three. You might get merry. But there's not this pervasive, ubiquitous culture of setting out to get drunk as there is in the UK.

I have never ever seen anyone nurse a beer all night

No neither have I. It would be relatively disgusting by the end of the night. Either do halves or drink it and get a soft drink, but nursing a pint for hours is no different to sitting with one cup of coffee for a whole night.

RE. European drunkenness. I recently attended the wedding of a close friend in rural France. It was a traditional French do conducted in the ‘mairie’ (local town hall) followed by a walk through the village to the community hall for the reception where most of the village attended as guests.

As an old friend of the bride I acquired waitress duties and was run ragged ferrying massive plastic bottles of the (delicious) local plonk around the hall in response to calls of ‘Plus du vin s’il vous plais’. If I didn’t know what that phrase meant at the start of the wedding I certainly did at the end. There was no sign of anyone carefully nursing one drink. It was unlike any wedding I’ve ever attended in the U.K. and a totally brilliant night.

Incidentally as a token Brit at the wedding I was thrilled when several people spoke to me in French - someone explained they thought I must be from Paris as I looked so chic, the one and only time in my life I’ve managed that!

MyInnerAlto Absolute rubbish, because you can also witness this nationalities getting battered on your annual summer holiday. The Irish and Dutch being particular offenders. We’re not stupid

I’m so surprised by lots of the replies here! It’s like a Joan and Jericha episode . I reckon 4 pints is quite a lot. I’d be properly drunk, and I drink regularly. Also, I totally sympathise with being fed up of his drunk company. I feel the same about my DP when he’s been drinking. Grumpy towards me, belchy, smells of booze and - worst - the snoring! I hate it! And why are we seen as the killjoys when they’re the ones being rude and grumpy to us?!

Passthecherrycoke, lovely tone Who's 'we'?

I didn't specify the nationality of the tourists. People (of all nationalities) behave differently on holiday. The point I am trying to make is that there is a much more pervasive 'night out' culture of socialising with the specific or main purpose of getting drunk, in normal, routine, week-to-week life, which I do think is peculiar to the UK, at least in a European context. At no point have I said that all (say) Germans spend all evening slowly sipping one beer while chatting in an amiable and cultured manner. And there's a certain hostility towards people who choose not to drink for other than driving reasons (either at all or on a particular occasion) which I also think is quite UK-specific.

(Oh, and weddings, like holidays, count, I think, as a special 'off the leash' occasion too)

by UK standards, culturally speaking, it's not a lot. but I'm with you on it being very unattractive. however try to prise a habitual drinker from his drink is an impossible task that will lead to your own sufferance. if you were able - i would if i was able - i'd call time on him. it leads to resentment on both sides.

Thanks again all for all the input.

So my conclusion from this thread is that:

1. it's basically a very usual amount to drink and not generally considered excessive;
2. according to technical definitions, he's binge drinking, and also significantly exceeding NHS weekly guidelines;
3. it's not clear whether this is good for him (probably not) or would be strange in other places in the world, is less clear;
4. the jury's also out on whether it's acceptable that I find it bloody annoying when my DH disturbs my boring, draconian sitcom-based Fridays with his beer-fuelled "fun", and whether I have driven him to drink with my endless re-runs of Frasier.

Food for thought - thanks, all!

This!!!

If he is coming home drunk and has a hangover, he's drinking more than 4 pints!

Op, you need to learn to live Together. He is doing nothing wrong with going out a couple of nights a week for a few beers with friends.

You're doing nothing wrong wishing to sit and watch frasier re runs. The both of you need to show some tolerance to one another, and let the other enjoy their lives, be it beers with friends or watching sitcoms.

I don’t think he is drinking 4 pints .. even if he is , if his behaviour impacts your evening and following day twice a week then something needs to give.. maybe ask him to consider one weekend night of no drinking each month or every other week?

I think that's loads! That's not a normal amount or healthy amount to be consuming regularly