On phone during bj

[JudasHisCarrot]

Hi all, just wanted some thoughts as not sure whether I'm overreacting.

Was giving my bf a blow job on the sofa earlier (my suggestion), and a couple on minutes in he picks up his phone and starts looking at it. I asked what he was doing and he said catching up on whatsapp messages from his mates' group chat. I must have looked shocked because he said he didn't think it would be a big deal.

I stopped and came upstairs, had a shower and pottered around. After half an hour he came up and said sorry. I said that I didn't want to talk to him.

He has form for being on his phone A LOT, just on twitter and messaging his mates, nothing dodgy. And recently he has started not looking at me whilst we're talking, glancing at the tv like he's bored and not listening to me. That's why I may be more pissed off about this than I should have been. I just feel so hurt, and feel like it shows that he doesn't respect me. In all other ways he is a good boyfriend so I just don't know how to take it.

What do you reckon? How would you react?

**Fizzygreenwater

If a guy tried to initiate oral sex with me when I was busy, he'd probably get the same reception you got.
I just don't get why you would have initiated oral sex when he clearly wasn't interested.
Mine would be lucky to get sex after begging

I suggested it and he was very keen, if he was busy or I knew he wasn't in the mood I wouldn't have initiated it!

To me oral sex is even more personal than full sex. It's totally one way affection. The least he can do is give you his full attention. I like to have my hair played with and be giving some indication he's appreaciating it. I refer to my earlier comment. He sounds like a knobhead.

Yes, clearly very keen.........

I really don't get why people feel the need to be unkind? Surely we should all try and support each other? There are real people posting for advice here. Thanks to all who have given useful advice and thoughts

Some people are douches OP and like being nasty. However, your BF doesn't sound that good either. I'd bin him and get one that isn't glued to his phone.

Phone during BJ + cutting eyes to the TV & not listening when you're trying to speak to him = time to move on.

Either you're right and he's ready to move on from your relationship or he's just unbelievably rude and self-centered. Either way....Bye-bye Felipe!

Ignore people who are rude, OP.

Hope you are going to be OK.

Do you reckon there's a sexual fantasy element to it for him? There's a kind of sub/dom power dynamic to his behaviour that makes me wonder if he gets off on it.

Not that that makes him less of a dick.

I'm baffled that a 34 year old woman can't recognise that this isn't a normal sexual exchange.

!

YANBU

My OH (live together) is glued to his phone. If it's not the phone, it's his iPad or laptop, playing one of two games.

He won't continue if I'm doing something sexual, but he does ignore me/ blank out what I've said, which he then insists I never told him.

It makes me feel very insignificant. But if he did what yours did, during head, he would be on the couch until he apologised and changed.

And recently he has started not looking at me whilst we're talking, glancing at the tv like he's bored and not listening to me.

I would have ended it already for this. You can do better.

Glad you ended it. So very disrespectful!

Have to ask did he ever return the favour at times?

He is bad news.

Take care of yourself by realizing that you deserve MUCH better.

Sex isn't a pass time hobby. It's sharing intimacy. He's not sharing, he's taking.

He's also up to something. Are you sure he wasn't taking your photo?

Dump him... Via what's app

Shame you've sent him home. Whilst he was fast asleep you could have superglued his phone to his cock. It would have given everyone in A&E a right laugh and they'd have known exactly why it was there. (Apologises in advance for wasting NHS resources and HCP time)

@EleanorReally are you a mod? No. Fuck up then.

I second what a PP has stated. I would dump him because of what it represents as much as anything. I would definitely dump though.

@JudasHisCarrot I would like to encourage you to ignore the unkind remarks! Towards you and the ones towards him, I’m not saying anyone has a bad heart for the words they have to say towards him but that still doesn’t make them right. As far as the unkindness towards you; it has not a thing to do with you but it’s a reflection of them! Hurting people hurt others. When you look at it in that manner, it only makes your heart hurt for them! I would let him know how it made you feel and be open versus pushing him away. A closed door between the two of you is not going to help the matter, I would suggest apologizing and confronting the problem. Best of luck to both of you!!! Xx

What has op to apologise for ?

If be one very aloof with him, if he wants you he'll soon change and come running, if not I'd guess he's just not that bothered

It sounds like he’s checked out of the relationship. My Ex used to look bored or roll his eyes to the ceiling when I was telling him about my day. It was an early sign he had lost interest in me. Sorry but from what you say he does this too as well as the phone thing. I wouldn’t waste any more of your life on him Op it’s heading there anyway x