On phone during bj

[JudasHisCarrot]

Hi all, just wanted some thoughts as not sure whether I'm overreacting.

Was giving my bf a blow job on the sofa earlier (my suggestion), and a couple on minutes in he picks up his phone and starts looking at it. I asked what he was doing and he said catching up on whatsapp messages from his mates' group chat. I must have looked shocked because he said he didn't think it would be a big deal.

I stopped and came upstairs, had a shower and pottered around. After half an hour he came up and said sorry. I said that I didn't want to talk to him.

He has form for being on his phone A LOT, just on twitter and messaging his mates, nothing dodgy. And recently he has started not looking at me whilst we're talking, glancing at the tv like he's bored and not listening to me. That's why I may be more pissed off about this than I should have been. I just feel so hurt, and feel like it shows that he doesn't respect me. In all other ways he is a good boyfriend so I just don't know how to take it.

What do you reckon? How would you react?

Would you really dump someone over this?

GOD yes. Crass, disrespectful, sleazy, just absolutely horrid and says so much about him. Just no way. A year? Total early warning sign.

shushy

That would be the end for me too.
very disrespectful and rude.
He must be like this in other ways though, how could you have stood a year.

Right then Judas you have your answer. Stop undervaluing yourself!

shushy

Even my young naive self would dump a bf for shit like this. Jesus Christ, get rid.

Seeing each other or actually a couple??

YANBU. I'd be super pissed.

Deffo would of added teeth and then stopped

Would you really dump someone over this?

Has he not just in effect told you exactly how he feels about you? On top of all the other stuff you have noticed?

What are you waiting for?

That you are actually questioning whether any of us would dump someone over this displays just how much he has worn down your expectations. I bet he thinks you should be the grateful one if you make him dinner

I'd be ending it with him without a second doubt.

First up you need to check his phone fully for photos or videos. I don't care if he turned the screen round its the work of a second to close the camera. You should have got very angry and insisted on inspecting both the camera app and deleted files but better late than never. Ask him when you are next with him and don't take no for an answer - if he's deleted it, he's very unlikely to have also bothered to delete it from the deleted files/recycle bin file. This is a job for A Big Big Fuss.

Second, why are you even asking if you are being unreasonable. Checking his phone shows he is treating you as an ancillary service. You aren't being paid and it is not acceptable to treat you l

I would have left him ages ago, but that's just me.
No respect = No relationship.

OP, so you'd tell your daughters not to put up with shit like that - but you ask whether we'd dump him for that?

Model self-respect for yourself - for your daughters' sakes, if not yours. That's really pitiful that you'd need to ask actually.

Sorry, but you did ask. He does't even look at you when he's talking to you. What are you to him exactly?

What a rude, disrespectful arsehole. Your daughters will learn from you - don’t let yourself be treated by your bf that way. 1 year? Dump the fucker. What’s next - twitter while you’re having sex?

I think you must be pretty young to actually not have binned him off already. The rest of us have seen a bit of life and experienced relationships and our bars are a lot higher now. At twenty I'd have been wondering what I did wrong, now at fifty, his arse would have been kicked straight out of the front door. He's having a relationship with his phone, not you. You must surely know you're worth far more than that?

I get the feeling that you're only looking for the 'funny' posts, OP. There aren't any really but, it's your life. If you want to minimise and accept this behaviour then expect more of it - until you are dumped by him when he finds somebody more interesting whom he will look at and take notice of.

Best of luck with it all.

What Okki said. So disrespectful. And I second checking his phone just in case.

Not a piss take unfortunately.

.. no further blow-jobs at least, dump at most.

Get him to give you oral and then pick up your phone and start scrolling through it- see if he finds that acceptable.

Bit should you really have to teach someone to have a sliver or respect and manners ....

Sounds like he was watching porn on his phone while you toiled away at the business end

Would you really dump someone over this?

Yes. Without hesitation. I would dump someone for playing on their phone during dinner with me so playing with your phone while your cock is in my mouth? See ya. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Fucking gross.

Sounds like adhd/add to me.

Would you really dump someone over this?

Yes, it's still early days and he's shown what he really thinks of you. I promise you deserve better and can find better.

He sounds like he's a boring, compulsive phone (or whatever he's looking at on the phone) addict anyway.

And you absolutely need to check his phone.

toiled away at the business end

Wow, that's poetic.