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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On phone during bj

156 replies

JudasHisCarrot · 16/06/2019 21:48

Hi all, just wanted some thoughts as not sure whether I'm overreacting.

Was giving my bf a blow job on the sofa earlier (my suggestion), and a couple on minutes in he picks up his phone and starts looking at it. I asked what he was doing and he said catching up on whatsapp messages from his mates' group chat. I must have looked shocked because he said he didn't think it would be a big deal.

I stopped and came upstairs, had a shower and pottered around. After half an hour he came up and said sorry. I said that I didn't want to talk to him.

He has form for being on his phone A LOT, just on twitter and messaging his mates, nothing dodgy. And recently he has started not looking at me whilst we're talking, glancing at the tv like he's bored and not listening to me. That's why I may be more pissed off about this than I should have been. I just feel so hurt, and feel like it shows that he doesn't respect me. In all other ways he is a good boyfriend so I just don't know how to take it.

What do you reckon? How would you react?

OP posts:
tomatostottie · 16/06/2019 22:21

Disgusting individual.
Get rid ASAP.
I got annoyed with my ex because he was constantly faffing about on Whatsapp or sending text messages while supposedly having a conversation with me. But if he had ever done that, he would have been STRAIGHT OUT.

Smelborp · 16/06/2019 22:22

I think I would LTB or seriously renegotiate the terms of the relationship.

mokapot · 16/06/2019 22:22

Errrr for you to even ask this would
Have me more worried about your self esteem.

AnyFucker · 16/06/2019 22:22

It conjures up an accurate image of what is happening here though doesn't it ?

Original poster
JudasHisCarrot · 16/06/2019 22:22

Have sent him home. He thinks i'm being unreasonable for not talking about it and moving on.

OP posts:
redspider1 · 16/06/2019 22:22

Oh god yes check the phone!!!

MyNewBearTotoro · 16/06/2019 22:23

That would be the last blowjob I ever gave him.

RuffleCrow · 16/06/2019 22:25

Are you sure he wasn't filming you? Angry

Original poster
JudasHisCarrot · 16/06/2019 22:26

For everyone asking, he DEFINITELY wasn't filming me.

OP posts:
GreatWesternValkyrie · 16/06/2019 22:29

Would you really dump someone over this?

Really, the question you need to ask is what good reason would there be to not end it with someone with such appalling sexual manners and lack of interest.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 16/06/2019 22:30

Check his phone.
I would absolutely dump..

So bloody disrespectful....

If you're in to this wankpuffin... If and only IF he profoundly apologises of his own accord... and makes an effort to bin phone.
as in seriously.... Writes down an action plan... Like his phone is in his bag/jacket when he's with you. .. And this at an absolute minimum....

Even if people are on phone during meals I refuse to serve/ eat til they've removed their phones... It's the only way... I just won't tolerate such rudeness...

Next time he's on top... Start flicking through your phone and reading out messages.... See how he likes it. Arsehole

Laurajjj · 16/06/2019 22:30

What a knobhead. At least be appreciative of being noshed off.

Sparklesocks · 16/06/2019 22:31

Bad blowie etiquette!!

Mac47 · 16/06/2019 22:33

I would be fucking furious, why on earth would you question if this is acceptable?

Tucobenedicto · 16/06/2019 22:35

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NurseButtercup · 16/06/2019 22:35

sooo now that everybody has piled on to say yanbu & LTB what are your thoughts? What are you going to do?

Moralitym1n1 · 16/06/2019 22:35

It conjures up an accurate image of what is happening here though doesn't it ?

I forgot a grinning emoji, it struck me as funny.
But yes, op may as well have been a prostitute; but then hed probably have paid attention and focused because it wasn't free and he wasn't taking it for granted.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 16/06/2019 22:40

Would you really dump someone over this?

Instantly, and unlike you I'm an old bat who doesn't find partners easily. He was treating you with contempt. I'm glad to see you're going to get rid.

Once you're single you can get out there and find an earth shaking lover who rocks your world and shudders in ecstasy during a BJ. Grin

ChicCroissant · 16/06/2019 22:41
Hmm
EleanorReally · 16/06/2019 22:41

and you thought you would ask mumsnet why? Hmm

EleanorReally · 16/06/2019 22:42

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BlackberryBeret · 16/06/2019 22:42

For everyone asking, he DEFINITELY wasn't filming me.

He doesn't have to have been filiming you, he may have just taken a photo for his personal gratification later. How can you be so sure if you didn't check the photo files?

You can't know. If you were giving a blow job it's also very likely you can't be sure how long he'd had his phone in his hand before you noticed.

You really should have insisted on checking the phone there and then but although no guarantees now, better late than never.

MaMaMaMySharona · 16/06/2019 22:45

Maybe you need to brush up on your technique
Wtf

INeedAFlerken · 16/06/2019 22:47

If you would tell your Daughters to send a guy packing for being so disrespectful and uninterested, then follow your own advice.

You deserve someone who appreciates you and your attention.

OutInTheCountry · 16/06/2019 22:47

This might make it to the Daily Fail.