Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ended up in the same club...

149 replies

junglesepa · 16/06/2019 10:15

Hi,

My fiancée and I went out in London last night separately with friends. I went to a birthday party in a club, she had booked the space and area months ago. There's a Facebook invite etc. I said I was going to a club and never specified.

My fiancée went to an event and then a bar and had text me that. Then he text saying he was in the same club (I didn't check my phone) he didn't realise I was in there. I was talking to my friends at the bar when suddenly he was in front of me.

His friend looked disgusted (usually get on with this friend) that I was there.
Fiancée is angry because it looks like I followed him there.

The mix up was that they referred to the club as it's old name and I knew it by its new advertised name.

It's awkward but not the end of the world. He's acting very off with me and angry. Who is BU?

OP posts:
Walkerbean16 · 16/06/2019 10:17

Why would they be angry that they had bumped into you?

Wildorchidz · 16/06/2019 10:18

He is.
LTB and cancel the wedding.

DoneLikeAKipper · 16/06/2019 10:18

He’s angry because you ended up in the same place on a night out? Seriously? And you’re marrying this man-child? Good luck with that.

unicorncupcake · 16/06/2019 10:19

That’s so strange... if that had happened to us we’d laugh at the coincidence and be pleased to see each other!

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 16/06/2019 10:20

Run for the hills.
Lucky escape finding out now what he's like

Stompythedinosaur · 16/06/2019 10:21

He sounds like a dick. The normal reaction to unexpectedly running into your partner is to be pleased!

billy1966 · 16/06/2019 10:21

Angry with you.

Twat.

And you really want to marry this prize.

Have a big think.

Yogurtcoveredricecake · 16/06/2019 10:21

Why is this an issue?

MRex · 16/06/2019 10:22

What a weird reaction. What were they doing that it was awkward for you to be in the same club? My DH is happy to see me, we like spending time together and would combine a group or not depending on the other dynamics.

MrsMozartMkII · 16/06/2019 10:22

Really?! Hmm

Unless you have form for following him and not trusting then he's being an arse.

Yogurtcoveredricecake · 16/06/2019 10:22

Hold on, was he there to pick up women and is pissed off because he couldn't if you were there?

Aus84 · 16/06/2019 10:23

This has happened to DH and before a few times when we were younger. He was always happy to see me and we would have a drink or two together. If it had been any other way, I would be questioning why he didn't want me there...

Celebelly · 16/06/2019 10:24

I would be suspicious he was there to flirt/pick up women and you'd cramped his style.

Smelborp · 16/06/2019 10:24

What was he planning on doing that he didn’t want you there to see?

Your night was booked for months, it should be clear you weren’t following him, particularly if you didn’t even notice him. This has a lot of red flags.

Quartz2208 · 16/06/2019 10:24

yes why is this even remotely an issue - huge red flag that it is OP huge

pinkyredrose · 16/06/2019 10:24

Wouldn't the normal reaction to be happy to see you and say 'hey small world' or something? Has he ever been like this before?

ScreamingValenta · 16/06/2019 10:24

You need to rethink having this man as a fiance.

ladyratterley · 16/06/2019 10:25

Why would his friend be disgusted? Why didn’t your fiancé, you & his friend chat, work out what had happened & then laugh at the mix up & coincidence?
He has no right to be angry. As unicorncupcake said, if that happened to me, my fiancé & friend, we’d just have a laugh about it.
We’d probably all join up as a group together, but if not we’d happily carry on having fun with our friends.
He’s being a total dick.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 16/06/2019 10:25

"I would be suspicious he was there to flirt/pick up women and you'd cramped his style."

Ding ding ding, we have a winner.

Whackaguacamole · 16/06/2019 10:26

What!? We'd be happy to see each other.

How can you even ask if you're in the wrong, what are you possibly meant to have done Sad

HeckyPeck · 16/06/2019 10:26

He’s being so ridiculous that I would consider the future of the relationship.

If you’re sure you want to be with him (obviously that’s you’re choice) then I’d send him a copy of the Facebook invite and say if anything it looks like he followed you there and to stop acting so ridiculously and making himself look like a fool.

hookiwooki · 16/06/2019 10:27

He is BU and a complete manchild. As your night was rebooked it actually looks more like him following you there.

And you're BU for marrying him. Because if a man is angry about the woman he loves being in the same building on a night out then he's either ashamed of the woman or has something planned that he doesn't want her to see/know about.

1CantPickAName · 16/06/2019 10:28

What a weird reaction from him. Surely you’d be happy at bumping into the person you love? Even laugh at the mixup?

Original poster
junglesepa · 16/06/2019 10:31

I think it's because he doesn't go out often / do things without me. I kind of understand but I just don't see the big deal.
He said it's like I planned it because I knew where he was going and didn't say. This isn't true. I just didn't think about it.

I also think he's worried his friend will think I've followed them. Apparently he made a comment like "she's always there". I don't get that as they go on lads holidays together and I've never been there. They don't live in the same area so only see each other for events.

I don't think he was there to pick up women, at least I hope not.

OP posts:
Dippypippy1980 · 16/06/2019 10:31

This is really odd behaviour on his part. Why was he annoyed, why was his friend annoyed, why doesn’t he trust you?

Is there a back story here (do you follow him about, are you unreasonable jealous or suspicious).

He is not acting like a normal, rational adult. If this is unusual find out why, if his always like this rethink.

Oh and find out what the hell is up with his friend. Are they lovers? Why would he care if you are there?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.