Ended up in the same club...

[junglesepa]

Hi,

My fiancée and I went out in London last night separately with friends. I went to a birthday party in a club, she had booked the space and area months ago. There's a Facebook invite etc. I said I was going to a club and never specified.

My fiancée went to an event and then a bar and had text me that. Then he text saying he was in the same club (I didn't check my phone) he didn't realise I was in there. I was talking to my friends at the bar when suddenly he was in front of me.

His friend looked disgusted (usually get on with this friend) that I was there.
Fiancée is angry because it looks like I followed him there.

The mix up was that they referred to the club as it's old name and I knew it by its new advertised name.

It's awkward but not the end of the world. He's acting very off with me and angry. Who is BU?

Major red flag for me, it’s not normal to be annoyed to bump into your fiancé on a night out!

"But you knew where he was going? And you knew he was out with a friend on a guys night? If my DH turned up at the same place under those circumstances I'd probably be pretty put out. Definitely has the potential to look controlling or desperate imo."

I wrote this earlier, but having now read the op properly, I take it all back. Yes, it's weird he's so annoyed. Not your fault. Hope you can get to the bottom of it and work something out.

Weird reaction. If this happened in my friendship group we'd just join groups and have a good night together, but a lot of my friends and our boyfriends/husbands know eachother anyway.

Don't marry him, he's acting like a real twat and his friends sounds like a dick as well. Don't get lumbered with such a pathetic man.

Do you mean fiancé (male) or fiancée (female) as you then say She booked..

Either way, this is not great. Serious talk and/or end things. There's probably more to this.

Whenever I bump into my husband unexpectedly, I am always delighted to see him. My heart skips a little beat and it's a lovely surprise. Your fiances reaction is weird.

This is very very odd.

Back when I worked in a similar area to my DP we both used to love it when we’d randomly bump into each other on the tube or in a coffee shop.

His behaviour sounds really weird.

That’s so strange... if that had happened to us we’d laugh at the coincidence and be pleased to see each other!

^^ This - unless you have a strange history of never letting him out your sight then I think his reaction is very very odd.

Do people even plan to go out and 'pull' anymore?

I think from what you've said they see you as clingy. The comment from the friend certainly reads that way.

Are you sure he's over 18?!!
Sounds like a man child...the problem is they never grow out of it!

A similar thing happened to me years ago. My brother's stag party ended up at his fiancée's hen party, in a club that had a meal in a basket and a cabaret. When they first turned up I asked my (now ex) husband to dance, and he was a bit nasty with me about it, saying he didn't go on a stag night to dance with me. So I went and asked somebody else to dance, then sat with the other man to eat at a table right near the cabaret. My ex was most upset when I wouldn't let him drag a chair over and sit with us. I told him I didn't come out on a hen night to eat with him....

Me and DH rarely go out on our own, but if we accidentally bumped into each other we’d be pleased and probably laugh about it. I’d be worried by his reaction tbh OP, to me it sounds like he was out to flirt with some women and he couldn’t now you were there.

I also think he's worried his friend will think I've followed them. Apparently he made a comment like "she's always there". I don't get that as they go on lads holidays together and I've never been there. They don't live in the same area so only see each other for events.

Then he should have pointed out to this friend that his comment was totally inaccurate and told him to stop being a pillock. And he should blame his friend, not you. It sounds as if this friend is rather possessive - is he?

Nah! He didn't have to stay with you, just say hi and stay in another part of the place w friend. Dump him.

Good God, don't marry this man.

If this happened to DP and I, we'd both be thrilled at the coincidence, and he'd probably think it was fate pulling us together cause he's soft like that.

If it was that big deal to have a friends-only thing then he could have moved to a different club. I think theres more than one in London.

He's pissed off that he turned up at a club that your friend had booked for her birthday and you were already at. I'd tell him to go fuck himself and if anyone ruined anyone's night, he ruined yours turning up with his shitty attitude.

And you can tell a lot about someone from the friends they keep.

How could you have followed him if you were already there when he and his friend arrived? Plus you were in a pre-booked space. He’s not making any sense here.

We would love to accidentally end up in the same place! But.... The exception would be if I had a stalkerish controling partner who 'accidentally' ended up where I'd arranged to go with my friends I'd be pissed off. Only you know the truth of it OP

OP. My first thought was that he was on the pull too.

He had either done something and worried he'd been seen and you'll mention it.

Or was planning on doing something and you scarpered his plans.

Either way leave him.

How can you say you didn't know he was going there. He told you he was going there.

And even if it's changed names, you still knew which club he meant.

Dont be naive to think he’s being an absolute idiot to you because he bumped into you - he and his jackass of a friend were probably looking to see if they could pick up girls and you appeared. Dump the idiot - you deserve better.

Don't bother with analysing it... You weren't 'following' him and you bumped into EACHOTHER at a club... Big deal....

Except it is... It is his reaction... As others have said... Run for the hills... He's showing you what he is... Soenone in thrall to his friend who's willing to be an arse to his FIANCEE.... Because of a coincidence...

I often bump into my other half... When in nights out (its a small place)... We just arse around and pretend we're meeting for first time😁😁.

At the very best your man is an arse... Thinking 'women stop you having fun' and other such inaccurate stereotypes...

At worse, he was mid pull and you spoilt it....

I'd really really think hard op... Don't focus on what he says... Look at what he does..

My husband (then boyfriend) used to TRY to get me to come to the same place as him if I was out!

I went to a birthday party in a club, she had booked the space and area months ago. There's a Facebook invite etc
I hope you were very clear in telling them this?

IF they walked into that club by mistake, them they still had the option to hang out in their own group and didn't need to join yours.
They could still have had 'guy time'.

The attitude you got given is because they/some of them had to adjust their behaviour to stay in the same club - they couldn't 'innocent flirt' or anything else because of the risk they would get caught.

Your bf is also a twat. I get the feeling his anger and blame of you is more about manipulating you.