To be mad at step children on father’s day

[Herewegoagain123]

My darling step children really are something else. My husband is a great dad, does so much for them (as he should).

It’s their weekend with their mother but nevertheless they don’t live far away and we did see them the end of last week.

Eldest one is working and I gave him a little reminder - nothing, not even a text for his dad.

Youngest asked me to get her a gift and card (Following my reminder), I gave them to her and they are still sitting unwritten in her bedroom!

They are both prolific users of social media and not a single text or call.

I’m sad for DH. They’re old enough to know better.

I think that if you started complaining before 9am on a weekend that teenagers haven't wished their father a happy father's day yet, you're actively looking to be offended about their behaviour. Doesn't bode well long term for your relationship with them.

'Are you stalking me Martha? Have a lovely day.'

No I earlier posted on one of your other threads and I see you've posted this on that one....so you are still reading this Op....

So 'off to enjoy my sunday'

Equates actually stalking me

Anyway do something lovely for your 'doesn't care about FD' woke up 'flat ' DH and rest assured if they 'darling step children' don't call round it's possibly because they....

Can't stand you.

😬

I'm assuming you've phoned your own father before 9am?

You shouldn't be texting or reminding them, they can do it themselves, or their mum can.

Perhaps it was a bigger thing in your household then it ever was in theirs, so you're making too much of it. Let them get on by themselves.

It's not your job to remind them. It's their own mums.
Sounds like you are overstepping

It is early but they will be awake and on Instagram I can be sure as I’ve already seen a pouty self this morning

Haha you sound so bitter. I feel sorry for these kids. I haven’t text mine yet, I was going to at lunch time.

Yo
They are inside their house so I would wake them if I took a photo as I would need a flash.

Crikey, turn the tables, if it was mother’s day and all the precious mums didn’t get something when their children were with their dad and evil step mum what would the mumsnetters be saying?

My kids came back from their Dad's around 2pm on Mother's Day. They wished me a happy Mother's Day, made me a cuppa then presented me with a card and gift each. No drama here.

@ChazsBrilliantAttitude huh???

I don't do father's day, for my dh or my dad.

The world keeps turning and no one died.

Kids of a certain age don't need to be reminded...there's adverts everywhere in the run up to father's day.

Leave them to it. You can get him one of those 'to husband on father's day' cards and leave it at that.

It really is a made up day. I feel the same about Mother's Day.

I think you need a hobby op.

DoctorDread
I mentioned even the guinea pigs cared so little about FD that they were asleep. Yo asked for a photo.

My adult step children don't bother and haven't for the past few years, one in particular has chosen not to communicate with her dad much at all, through no fault of my dh's (or nothing obvious

Absolute bullshit. People don’t go NC for no reason. I’ve gone NC with my Dad because of his poisonous partner, I’m sure his kid would have a very different story, from the way you are talking about his kids I have no doubt that you are part of the reason.

@MarthasGinYard as you’re stalking me, I took five minutes to have a quick scroll through some of your messages, didn’t have the time or inclination to read them thoroughly but what jumps out is a very hypocritical, unpleasant and judgmental opinion of anyone who disagrees with you. There’s so many examples of this and unlike you I won’t be cutting and pasting into an unrelated post.

Perhaps my DSC can’t stand me but that’s just fine with me.

I’m sure you’ll respond with a half witted comeback but I’ll leave the interaction with you right here!

Well, as many have said, it's quite early (still!).

I have 2 DSCs. Grown up now, but in my life since they were 3 and 6. My DH would be quietly/privately very upset if they forgot or didn't mark Father's Day in some way. However, that has never happened. I think when they were little their Mum reminded them (she's very nice!) and from the age of 10 or so they sorted it out for themselves, without fail, as I would for my own very elderly father.

So OP, I can see why you might be concerned I guess. But there's plenty of time for them to speak to him surely? And with respect, it doesn't sound as if you like them very much? You don't have to love DSCs (although I'm very fond of mine) but surely for your DH's sake you can try to like them?

My son saw his dad yesterday and today sent him a text (someone probably reminded him, he went away last night), but no card has materialised. So what? I know he loves his dad very much indeed, we don't make a big thing out of Father's Day.

as you’re stalking me

Since when does having read and posted on your one other thread count as "stalking"?

@ChazsBrilliantAttitude gotcha!!! Bless their squeaky noses!!

"I did remind them both last weekend, with no nastiness or malice."

I just wouldn't remind my teenage children/step-children about father's day, @Herewegoagain123 , although in our case now all older teenagers/young adults so possibly different situation.

One thing that may be helpful, with younger teenagers/children, when the 'big day' (birthdays, father's day, mother's day, etc) falls on a non-contact day/weekend is to celebrate it the week before or the week after.

So, for example, your DH could have celebrated Father's Day last weekend or, when I think about it, could still celebrate it next weekend! Would that work?

I'm not 'stalking' anyone.

I read your previous posts on your other thread re disliking your step daughter. As did other pp's on this thread.

Please refrain from referring to me as a 'stalker'

Incidentally a little rich from someone who'd already been looking at this dc's social media pre 9am.

Shock, horror, my teen DS only wrote in his card to his Dad about 10 mins ago. What a dreadful, unappreciative child he must be. —He is lovely actually—

OP, are you sure you're not the teenager? You're coming across as very stroppy on this thread.

My own teen is a delight by comparison.

Maybe he’s flat because of a million reasons or maybe he would just like a little thank you for all you do on father’s day.

Maybe he is OP but if that is the reason your DH needs to have that conversation with his DC's, not you.

My DC's didn't bother with Mothers Day a couple of years running ( maybe the Thursday night tidying🤔🤔🤔...sorry another thread...lol) and although it is commercialised nonsense nevertheless I felt unappreciated. I felt they were a little selfish in not thinking about me at all. A 'thank you', a card, a cup of tea would have been a nice thought (hate them wasting their money on tat).

However, this was about me and them. I didn't expect my DP, their DF or his wife to be involved. I had a reasonable conversation with my DS's about treating people well, about thinking of others and about my own expectations within that. Similarly if I wasn't bothered by it, we would have left it.