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Original poster

To be mad at step children on father’s day

358 replies

Herewegoagain123 · 16/06/2019 08:54

My darling step children really are something else. My husband is a great dad, does so much for them (as he should).

It’s their weekend with their mother but nevertheless they don’t live far away and we did see them the end of last week.

Eldest one is working and I gave him a little reminder - nothing, not even a text for his dad.

Youngest asked me to get her a gift and card (Following my reminder), I gave them to her and they are still sitting unwritten in her bedroom!

They are both prolific users of social media and not a single text or call.

I’m sad for DH. They’re old enough to know better.

OP posts:
zonkin · 16/06/2019 12:52

Jeez, how can people get so worked up about mothers/fathers day?

Original poster
Herewegoagain123 · 16/06/2019 12:54

I think the vitriol has gone way beyond my comments on father’s day. It’s turned into a SM bashing thread. Posters such as Jacques who confuse arrogance with intelligence will always bully their way through with little knowledge of what it’s like on this side of the fence.

My first post was about FD and how they were reminded but still chose not to bother. That still stands.

These comments that I’m clearly the worst step mother to ever walk the earth are based on very little.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 16/06/2019 12:57

My first post was about FD and how they were reminded but still chose not to bother. That still stands.

Yes it does but you need to look at what it says about how they feel about him - its likely not accidental at all

Or he doesnt care either and they know that and are waiting for next weekend to give him a present when they are there as they know the actual day is meaningless

easterholidays · 16/06/2019 12:58

I'm a former SM (but still see, love, and have a relationship with my former SC which is separate from the one I had with their father) and I don't think the posts here are anti stepmothers. As PP have said, the issue is not that you're a stepmother (and I agree with PP who said its OK for you to remind them about Father's Day, though I probably wouldn't have done myself). It's that you seem SO angry towards your stepchildren. And as another PP said, you can either detach from the relationship completely (not ideal but perhaps sometimes necessary) OR you can engage with it as an adult who has accepted that having a relationship with their father means building one with them too, even when it's hard and annoying. What you can't do is pick and choose and only engage when you find something you can complain about, because that way there will always be conflict, and nobody - not you, not your partner, not his children - should have to live like that.

PCohle · 16/06/2019 13:00

It's a bit much for you to complain about the vitriol on this thread OP when so many of your own comments have been so rude.

DoctorDread · 16/06/2019 13:00

What Easter said

JacquesHammer · 16/06/2019 13:00

Posters such as Jacques who confuse arrogance with intelligence will always bully their way through with little knowledge of what it’s like on this side of the fence

What? The child-disliking side? Forgive me, you are - quite obviously - the expert in that!

Don’t try and dress up what was yet another attempt to criticise your step-children as faux-concern over your husband. You can’t even get your stories straight.

YoThePussy · 16/06/2019 13:00

OK Chaz, will let you and them off. Love guineas and a photo would have brightened my day (and lightened this thread)

HarryHenderson · 16/06/2019 13:04

You sound absolutely bonkers!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 16/06/2019 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 16/06/2019 13:08

And the pouty instagram aside was a soupçon too much
HTH

Lweji · 16/06/2019 13:09

I wish we could just forget their birthdays!

I get that you feel sorry and angry for your OH, but that's not how a parent-child relationship works.

I hope you never say anything like that to them, but it's bad enough that you think it.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 16/06/2019 13:11

I wish we could just forget their birthdays!

You mean you wish your dp would forget his children’s birthdays so you can be number one but your dp won’t and if he does and can do so easily just think how easily he could dismiss you

You are so transparent a step parent in competition with their step children this comment along with previous comments says it all your jealousy is obvious - thing is they will always be his children you may not always be his wife that is the case in all adult relationships that can come to an end absolutely we move on to another. Not all men do put their partners before their children and when they do often bitterly regret it

R2G · 16/06/2019 13:13

I'm a stepmum. It's nice you bought a gift when your SD asked. Other than that tho, just leave it to their mum to remind and organise things for father's day. Teenagers are very self absorbed. Why don't you do something nice today for your husband rather than sitting fuming. It's not that big of a deal. I think it would have been easier to have all done something nice last weekend instead.

SoupDragon · 16/06/2019 13:15

He’s not all that bothered it seems

I can tell he’s a bit flat

Which is it?

Oakmaiden · 16/06/2019 13:16

vitriol

The only vitriol I have seen on this thread has come from you.

Good grief. I have never seen someone so spoiling for a fight.

DoctorDread · 16/06/2019 13:17

Somebody woke up with their grumpy pants on today!!!

SoupDragon · 16/06/2019 13:24

Not a single original comment in many of these anti step mum posts, just the same old bitter ex wives spilling out the usual MN sentences applicable to step mums. Yawn!

Probably because it's full of the usual boring stepchild hating comments from a bitter step mother 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hithere12 · 16/06/2019 13:24

OP your negativity towards his children is more harmful to him than his daughter not writing a card yet. Just keep your nose out.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 16/06/2019 13:25

OP, I'm a step-mum, and in the same position. Adult step-children, who require a great deal of cash and lifts and diy from from DH, but unfortunately can't put a card in the post or ring him on Father's Day. They want all of the benefits, but go conveniently silent on birthdays as well. I feels for you, and I think you are getting a hard time here Flowers x

Daphnesmate · 16/06/2019 13:27

OP, I'm a step-mum, and in the same position. Adult step-children, who require a great deal of cash and lifts and diy from from DH, but unfortunately can't put a card in the post or ring him on Father's Day. They want all of the benefits, but go conveniently silent on birthdays as well. I feels for you, and I think you are getting a hard time here x

This.

KittyKK · 16/06/2019 13:28

I’ve just remembered to text my dad. It’s not a crime.

OP - it’s nothing to do with you if his children do or don’t acknowledge Father’s Day. They’re not your children and he’s not your father, so none of your business.

You sound bitter. And I’m not divorced or a step-mother, so I’m not being defensive of first wives etc. Enjoy your weekend without feeling spite and hopefully without winding up your husband about something he doesn’t care about

Sparklesocks · 16/06/2019 13:28

Did you really need 2 threads about this?

TheBestNapIEverHad · 16/06/2019 13:32

You sound like you’re extremely angry with your stepchildren, OP. Is that anger really all over a Father’s Day card?

boobirdblue · 16/06/2019 13:32

There's more to this, it's ridiculous otherwise!