AIBU to ask what is the most batshit thing you've heard about yourself?

[Totur]

I come from a small town.
Among things I've heard was that I had gone to have an abortion when I had moved to work/travel in Holland.
And the most unbelievable of all was a colleague who I didn't know well telling me quite emphatically that my dd was Italian. It took her seeing a photo of my mixed race dd to acknowledge that my dd's father was not Italian.

There are loads more. E.g. my brother repeated A levels to get into medicine and the rumour was that he had failed his A levels.
Just mad stuff really!

Oh and I had shagged half the country despite remaining a virgin until 20!

I got on really well with a bloke at work (both teachers). He didn't drive and lived on my route to work so I used to give him a lift home. I left that school and soon after, his marriage broke up. I was told by a friend who still worked there that rumours were flying round that he'd left his wife for me and that we had been having an affair. 'Twas news to me!