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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter squirted a little juice over another buggy

464 replies

Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 12:51

So I have just been to the park with my dd 3 and ds 20 months. Getting ready to leave and trying to put my buggy refusing ds in the buggy and he’s really struggling.

Dd has global development delay and suspected asd. I had her on her reigns looped over the buggy while I was sorting my son out. She was drinking a drink from a sports bottle and while I was turned away she squirted the empty buggy next to me. I said dd don’t do that and continued to get ds in buggy but moved dd away. And was going to dry the other buggy when they were both secure.

The owner of the buggy came over said to me - you just watched you daughter squirt that all over my buggy. I said I am sorry and I was trying to get ds in the buggy when she did it, and that moved dd out of way and dealing with dd before I Could sort out what mess she made. She said that wasn’t good enough. I said I’ve apologised and not much more I can do.

The way she was with me she was so rude- her mannerisms and tone. You could see I had tried to deal with the situation and you can tell my dd isn’t your average 3 year old. If it was me I would have just said don’t worry that’s what kids do ?

Stuff like this is one of the reasons dh hates taking the kids out.

Sorry rant over. It may seem like a silly little thing but I just don’t think there is any need to be rude

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2019 17:30

you don’t allow your child to ruin something because you think it’s over the top yes because kids never do ssething in a split second before you can stop them. Perfect parents kids never throw a tantrum because they don't want to go home yet alowwong their sister 2 seconds to have an accident. Op hardly stood there cheering her daughter on and was going to clean it but didn't have chance. OK buggy mum didn't know that, but op has made it perfectly clear on here she was.
What's with the attempts to pretend we all know op is a shit mum who cheered on her child's deliberate destruction of someone else's property

Sleepyblueocean · 15/06/2019 17:30

"If my own DC had done that I'd have made them clean it themselves straight away"

My 12 year old with sn wouldn't be capable of or get the connection, doing that so I imagine there are quite a lot of 3 year olds with sn who wouldn't.

SkintAsASkintThing · 15/06/2019 17:34

Op.

And some people are just plain thick 😂😂😂

MumHowDoYouSpell · 15/06/2019 17:35

YANBU

The lady in question has a child of her own so she should know how children can be sometimes, if I were her I wouldn't have even confronted you.

diddl · 15/06/2019 17:37

"The OP didn't let the child do anything. She stopped her as soon as she was aware and prevented her from doing it again."

But there was no need at all for Op's daughter to be holding a drink-at the least she could have taken it off her straight away.

As a pp put, a little forward thinking on Op's part & it wouldn't have happened at all.

LillyBud · 15/06/2019 17:38

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Lizzie48 · 15/06/2019 17:38

I think some of you need to give this OP a break. She has a 3 year old with SN and a 20 month old. It sounds like it was a very stressful situation she was in - a 20 month old who was liable to walk away and a 3 year old who squirted a little juice over another mum's buggy.

It sounds like life is hard enough without you all piling on the guilt. Yes, it's AIBU, but that's no excuse for a lack of compassion.

You probably shouldn't have posted this on AIBU, OP.

DecomposingComposers · 15/06/2019 17:38

Nobody in their right mind would carry their child home because a few teaspoons of juice has gone on their child's buggy.

The OP doesn't read like it was only a few teaspoons. The OP says herself that she wanted to strap her son in before clearing up the mess that was made and the other mum said that she saw the dd squirt the drink all over the buggy. The OP herself is giving the impression that it was more than just a few teaspoons.

Lizzie48 · 15/06/2019 17:39

She says the bottle was still nearly full, so it was very little.

Lizzie48 · 15/06/2019 17:40

@LillyBud any normal person?? That's very unkind under the circumstances.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2019 17:41

@Millymollymandybestie why read when make up your own story means you can be so much more bitchy!!

But there was no need at all for Op's daughter to be holding a drink eh? A 3 yo isn't allowed a drink because there's a tiny risk it might get spilt? When IS she allowed to drink? Or should op hold it for her til she's 25? Do you kids only eat and run drink in your house?? If she's never squirted the bottle, op can hardly be blamed for not knowing this would happen. Presumably it's better if op never takes the kids out the house because of the slim chance one of them might have an accident thst impacts in someone else.

mathanxiety · 15/06/2019 17:44

Then after the potentially very difficult trip home get the thing washed and dry, meaning if she had other plans she'd have to cancel them until she could get out and about again.
Hmm
That is bonkers.

When you are home, tip a bottle or two of water and a dot of dish detergent over most buggies and scrub a little and they are hot to trot. That is, if they have ground in solid material in them like peanut butter or a solid poo. If it's liquid you can just rinse them while you are out or when you are home.
You can even leave them out in the rain and they will get rinsed out nicely.

How do I know this?
I used to work as a nanny and then I had five children and three buggies of my own.
But I don't think it takes years of experience to figure out that buggies are washable.
It does take a particular kind of person to make a mountain out of a molehill or make the day of a woman who was still struggling with her toddler a little worse then it was already. If this other woman was having a bad day, would spreading the negativity make her feel better?

When I went anywhere with children in my care or my own children I used to bring some water and a towel, as well as wipes. The water was for washing anyone or anything needing a hosing down, and the towel was for use as a changing pad, for drying small people, as a picnic blanket, or to line a wet buggy in case of incidents resulting in buggy refusal.

A little common sense goes a long way.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2019 17:46

@LillyBudoh do bog off. So op is abnormal because she moved her daughter away so she couldn't cause any more accidents? Or she's abnormal because having moved said child out the way, she figured she'd do a better job of cleaning the mess without one child in her arms hand? She's abnormal for knowing that over excited /over tired 20 month olds don't always stand their perfectly still?

Well it must be lovely being you, with your perfect parenting and perfect children. Perhaps you should enjoy your perfect life rather than bring inecedaeily nasty to those of us who can never live up to your perfection and sometimes have bad days with our lovely but not perfect children.

redspider1 · 15/06/2019 17:48

I guess she thought you were going to ignore the mess but she didn't wait to give you a chance. One of those things OP, don't dwell on it, you did your best.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2019 17:48

badly behaved daughter was strapped to the pram and she's not bloody badly behaved. She's a 3 yo with learning delay who had an accident.

boobirdblue · 15/06/2019 17:51

@LillyBud you sound vile, you sound like a disciplinarian parent and a totally unreasonable cunt!

So you e never had a 20 month old refuse to get into a buggy, you just tell them no and they stop? Either they're shit scared of you or your lying.

OP you did nothing wrong, carry on parenting the way you are.

Greyhound22 · 15/06/2019 17:52

It depends doesn't it. Was it a quick squirt of juice that happens when you squeeze a bottle or was she aiming it like a water pistol and soaking the buggy?

If it was the latter and you just looked up and then carried on with what you were doing then I would have been a bit miffed too tbh.

If it was just a quick squirt so to speak and you actually pulled her away then I wouldn't be bothered.

From her reaction have you played it down a bit and this poor woman had a buggy full of sticky juice?

Broombroomshaketheroom · 15/06/2019 17:53

@diddl maybe she was thirsty, just a thought 😂

Goldmandra · 15/06/2019 17:55

Another angle My eldest has aspergers he’s now 15 but as a toddler he would have refused to go in a wet buggy and I’d have ended up carrying him home .

I have two DDs with AS. They probably wouldn't have been keen on going in a buggy they knew had a few drops of someone else's juice in either.

It doesn't mean I would have laid into the OP for her DD squirting the juice in the first place and the vast majority of parents wouldn't have this issue at all.

Goldmandra · 15/06/2019 17:57

The OP herself is giving the impression that it was more than just a few teaspoons.

She's also said that the bottle was still nearly full so it wasn't a lot of juice.

There's some really crappy behaviour on this thread.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2019 17:58

If it was the latter and you just looked up and then carried on with what you were doing then I would have been a bit miffed too tbh
Yes that's exacy what op typed. She looked up, cba and ignored her. Or she clearly says she moved her away, told her no, and then tried to secure youngest so she could clean it up safely

DecomposingComposers · 15/06/2019 18:03

She's also said that the bottle was still nearly full so it wasn't a lot of juice.

Where did she say that? I must have missed it. The way that she describes the mum's reaction plus her saying she intended to clear up the mess does make it sound like it was more than a few drops. How would the other mum have even seen if it was only a few drops?

diddl · 15/06/2019 18:03

I'm not saying that Op's daughter shouldn't be allowed to drink-just that she should be supervised.

I can't be the only one who didn't allow kids to play about with drinking bottles/cups?

Peachsummer · 15/06/2019 18:03

If you were close enough to your DD to pull her away then surely you could also have taken away the drinks bottle? That’s the first thing you’d do to prevent it happening again so I’m not surprised the mum was annoyed. She saw your DD squirt her buggy with no consequences.

My own kids puked and the dog and cat shat in their buggies
Your pets shit in your house?! Omg 😮

boobirdblue · 15/06/2019 18:04

But there was no need at all for Op's daughter to be holding a drink-at the least she could have taken it off her straight away.

What a ridiculous comment, there was no need to be holding a drink......, perhaps she was thirsty? How did OP foresee this happening?

Sone people in MN @diddl are entrenched in making out that every event is avoidable as long as their as perfect parent as you!

anyone spending £1800 are not doing it for the good of their child, they're having it as a status symbol! Children drop ice creams, spill drinks, throw up over them etc.

Get over a few drops of drink!

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