Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

829 replies

Titsntats · 15/06/2019 07:21

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

OP posts:
iano · 15/06/2019 09:05

I'd uninvite her. She's not your friend. You had made a decision which she overruled for a few likes. She's either an attention seeker or she fancies your OH and is trying to ruin this for you.

Mammyloveswine · 15/06/2019 09:08

Omg what a total bitch!!

Definitely ditch her!!

Original poster
Titsntats · 15/06/2019 09:08

Wow sorry I put my phone down to drive to work and come back to this! Thank you for everyone's replies I am trying to get through them now

To answer a few questions:
She has never done anything like this before. We have been friends for over 10 years and she is usually so thoughtful and considerate so it makes even less sense

The photo has now been removed after me explaining exactly how I felt and why it upset me so much. When confronted she said that she 'wasn't thinking and had forgotten it was private' (hmm) but yes my partner definitely did see it as he admitted to me that he had

And to those of you saying it's fake, I'm a journalist etc etc thank you for invalidating my feelings. Just because something hasn't happened to you/you've never heard of it doesn't mean that it's instantly a fake story! People are real and do have feelings you know....

OP posts:
Xmas2020 · 15/06/2019 09:09

Oh that is awful, she has ruined the most important day of your life. I am so sorry for you. Thanks

PlatypusPie · 15/06/2019 09:10

I can’t imagine that she got a very good response from those who saw the photo post on FB, either.

Original poster
Titsntats · 15/06/2019 09:10

Also to those saying she is jealous, has reminded me of a conversation with her a few months prior which I had thought nothing more of until now. She has been having relationship issues and said that the build up to the wedding and her being involved has made her feel sad that her relationship is so far away from the stage that mine is at so maybe something along the lines of jealousy is true

OP posts:
transformandriseup · 15/06/2019 09:12

I’m wasnt too fussed about any wedding before my own but this has genuinely shocked me. Surely everyone knows the groom doesn’t see the dress before the day.

GabriellaMontez · 15/06/2019 09:13

Has this honestly come out of no where? Its very nasty.

Unless she issued a genuine, heartfelt apology for a moment's insanity, I'd bin her.

Hollanda40 · 15/06/2019 09:13

OP i really understand how you must be feeling. It's hard when someone you love as a friend behaves so horribly. :'( hugs

OrangeCinnamon · 15/06/2019 09:14

Oh dear @Titsntats this is a difficult one. How strange ...definitely sounds jealous and having some MH issues maybe but that doesn't excuse. She needs to apologise and explain her actions. At the very least I'd be completely cooling off this relationship.

reesewithoutaspoon · 15/06/2019 09:14

I would honestly still uninvite her from being a bridesmaid. How can you trust her not to post pictures of your wedding before the ceremony is even over.
This is not an innocent mistake. Everyone knows that the brides dress is kept a secret from the groom until the day. No one is that clueless. This was deliberate and malicious

NauseousMum · 15/06/2019 09:15

So she's a liar too then? She could have shared privately via messanger or watsapp but she obviously wanted the attention on her.

I'd be rethinking the friendship and if she remains your BM then i would make a point of making her leave her phone behind.

Janus · 15/06/2019 09:16

Do you think maybe your Dad didn’t see then? At least that would be one person.
As everyone’s said though, trying it on in the shop is not the same as in person, full hair, make up, flowers etc so try and put it to one side now.

transformandriseup · 15/06/2019 09:16

Maybe we are so used to sharing everything on Facebook the BM just wasn’t thinking straight. She owes the OP big time though.

MorondelaFrontera · 15/06/2019 09:16

CremantDeLoireSocialist
I'm feeling a bit sorry for the bridesmaid. The replies on here are so angry and judgemental. Could she just be clueless?

How can anyone not know that a wedding dress is special?

regardless, the OP told her AND asked her to remove it.
You are not clueless after being told at least twice, you are spiteful.

Al203 · 15/06/2019 09:17

Goodness. What are your enemies like?

Banhaha · 15/06/2019 09:19

What a horrible thing to do. I would uninvited her and have nothing more to do with her. Why would she think it's ok to tag your fiance. Thats the bit that says to be it's deliberate. I hope your wedding day is still lovely and you don't let this ruin it, she's not worth it. He wont have seen you all made up with your hair etc.

rededucator · 15/06/2019 09:19

I can completely understand why it's upset you but please please please do not let it spoil your day or the dress for you. Your husband and dad will still be blown away and have all the butterflies. Try to forget it, I hope she has taken the list down. Again, please please don't think on it another minute x

userabcname · 15/06/2019 09:20

Wow! Bitch move. I'd keep her at a distance and be very wary. I hope she doesn't do anything on the day to spoil things for you. Do you have other bridesmaids? Don't trust her to do anything important.

7yo7yo · 15/06/2019 09:21

When you wear the it will look totally different so please don’t think it’s spoiled things for you.
However I think you know now that you should totally uninvited this arse from your wedding.
She’s at best thick as shit and at worst malicious.
Sack her of.

ScreamingValenta · 15/06/2019 09:22

It's your marriage that is important, not your wedding. Your dress and who is, or isn't, surprised it, and who put what on Facebook are trivial details that really don't matter in the scheme of things. Concentrate on enjoying your day and forget about Facebook.

CupoTeap · 15/06/2019 09:23

Wow I cannot believe that someone would ever think this is acceptable Shock

CestCeleste · 15/06/2019 09:23

Has this utter cow taken the picture down yet?

WorraLiberty · 15/06/2019 09:23

Did you notice her taking a photo of you?

RubyBluee · 15/06/2019 09:25

I’d be so angry and she would no longer be bridesmaid. I’d also change the dress