Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

[Titsntats]

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

Thing is, she almost certainly KNEW she was going to get found out - she made sure of it, really, by tagging the groom in! Maybe she thought she'd have a little "secret" with him - nope, because then she would have messaged him with it, not posted it on her FB with the tag so everyone else could see it too.

Attention seeking and designed to upset.

She is NO friend. I’d rethink having her in your wedding whatsoever.

*by way of an analogy

Not amplify 🙄

I'd be raging! Why the hell would you think it's acceptable to tag the groom in on a picture of a dress fitting? She'd be binned if it was me!

I'm very sorry you have such a shitty bridesmaid. Sack her and ban her from the wedding immediately. Make it clear that her actions totally out of order. Then, please take this advice. Although your father and hubby to be may have seen picture, nothing compares to the reality. The sight of you walking towards your father and later to your hubby in your dress and all the loveliness of your hair, veil etc will be their most cherished memory, not a picture on Facebook. They won't even remember that. The overwhelming love they feel in that moment will be all that matters. The reality is worth a million pictures they may have glimpsed on Facebook. So just forget it. Also being men, I doubt they'll even remember what the dress they saw looked like.

OP, turn your upset on its head and feel pity for someone so desperate to be centre of attention that they would stomp all over your express wishes, just to be noticed courtesy of your news/pic, not theirs.

Feel sad for her. She's pitiful. And spiteful.

Definitely ditch her. But don't waste energy on her.

I echo pp who have said your dress will not look the same on the day, so relax on that issue.

This story has just come up in my news notifications. The Sun have picked up on it 🙄

These lazy bastard journalists, I hate them.

Either this thread was a clever bit of journalism and got the required response meaning the paper could run it as a story, or the op needs to follow up on her word and tell the friend she is no longer welcome before she reads this thread and does something with the photo.

As a side, get where Rach is coming from, there are worse things that could happen. My dh broke his leg 4 weeks before the wedding, 8 months of tango lessons wasted, car organised for him to drive, crying over a table plan while he is undergoing major surgery. It's TRUE the dress will look very different on the day with all the bells and whistles. However still doesn't condone the friends actions, it wasnt her information to share.

Oh wow. I would be SO upset! Your bridesmaid is either spiteful or stupid.

You will look and feel very different in your dress on the day once you have your hair and makeup done and put the accessories on. What's done is done, try and relax and by the time the big day comes you'll be too excited to be stressing over this.

oh balls I can’t believe it’s actually been picked up, she is definitely going to see that and recognise it’s about her

I don’t know whether to do the dumping face to face or just by text. It has been a long friendship and by all accounts a very good one, this was so out of the ordinary from her but I just don’t know that I can move on and let her carry on in my life after the blatant disrespect and disregard for my feelings

Oh wow there’s some really bitchy comments about it on the post the sun has put on Facebook she is so going to see it and know it’s about her

Don’t worry OP, your posts have been very rational and not mean to her in the slightest (from what I have seen). Hoping if she sees the article, she’ll come and read, and be rightly mortified at her actions. Potentially no awkward confrontation needed!

It'll be a discussion point on loose women shortly I'm sure.

This is the trouble with face book, as far as I can see. From what I hear about it people feel obliged to post every detail of their lives with pictures. This need/obligation is taking over basic manners and respect for other people's privacy. I'm not on facebook and when pics are taken at events I'm often saying 'please don't put that on fb' not sure if it still happens though....

OP, with this type of a post, where someone has truly been a bitch, I often think wouldn’t it be a good thing for the offending party to read about the hundreds of people who all think they acted a bitch.

You have an option to answer her truthfully IF she comments to you about this sun article. In fact, you could also simply send her the link and say you don’t think it’s a good idea for her to continue to be a brides maid.

Then you need to also address, is she still a guest?

In this instance I think The Sun has done your job for you

Get away from this woman. Wow. Bridesmaid really... I dont think id want to play out with her anymore.

Have you officially sacked her yet OP or did she see the article?

I’m sorry your friend betrayed you like this - she is jealous of you and a total bitch. Don’t allow her to attend your wedding in any capacity, there have been loads of threads on here about bm’s/guests making the day all about them and being spiteful.
Have a wonderful day x

Go back to the bridal shop try on a few more dresses and post pics on Facebook. They will deffo forget what your dress looked like

The delicious irony of her finding out about your feelings by her reading a thread on fb though!

@Titsntats they’re discussing your thread on the programme Ireland AM at the moment... you’ve gone global! They’re on your side

titsntats don’t worry if she sees it. Everyone knows what she has done already because she put it on facebook!

This might seem like a strange thing to say but could you ask your fiancée to unfriend her and maybe block her so they are separate on Facebook. He could have commented and told her to take it down. He didn’t. He tried to stay quiet. It isn’t his fault but he knew before you did and could have stuck up for you publicly. Ask gently. I basically don’t trust her not to contact him again. Don’t talk to her. Just your husband.

I mean fiancée

What has your fiance said about it?