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Original poster

Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

829 replies

Titsntats · 15/06/2019 07:21

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

OP posts:
GinIsHappiness · 16/06/2019 20:58

She's an absolute dick!!

Who does this?! When has anyone ever done that. Is she married?

I'd be like take it the fuck down. Now.

It might be petty of me to say - but I think I'd tell her to not be a part of the wedding. She's ruined the surprise (if you wanted other people to see it before the day you would of invited them to Dre's fittings) everyone always waits for the bride to add the picture before doing it themselves.

You've asked her to take it down and she doesn't respect that.

She's a dick. Simple as that

Dr273 · 16/06/2019 21:01

Dear "friend",

After considerable thought, I have decided that you are not the right person to have at my wedding. Whilst this decision pains me, your deliberate obstructiveness and subsequent attempts to minimise and gaslight make it clear that you are not in the right place right now to take on the role of bridesmaid - or friend. As such, I release you from your duties and disinvite you from the wedding. I hope you are able to work through your problems.

browneyes77 · 16/06/2019 21:02

Even my husband, who’s usually oblivious, said this was out of order!

Same with my OH!!

You’d have to be a special kind of stupid to not know that this is bang out of order. As many other posters have said, her attitude about the whole thing, screams deliberate to me.

WhiteAngel2012 · 16/06/2019 21:04

I will be fuming also. I hope you can find another bridesmaid! You will have a great day anyway!

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 16/06/2019 21:05

To the poster who said it's a fake because "shops don't let you take photos"

that's just not true. Some might ban pics, but I have a photo of me in every single one of the dresses I tried, and I went to quite a few shops.
I also took photos of my friends, shops were also very welcoming.

Your statement might be true, but not based on this point.

MintCassis · 16/06/2019 21:05

This story has just come up in my news notifications. The Sun have picked up on it 🙄

Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook
Pixie2015 · 16/06/2019 21:08

Shame the newspaper won’t pay for a new dress for you after your alleged friend did this !

EllenAshSky1 · 16/06/2019 21:17

That's awful!!!! I would be livid!!!
It's common sense not to do something like that surely!!!???

MummyofTw0 · 16/06/2019 21:25

That was a very catty thing of her to do. She sounds jealous in all honesty. I would uninvite her

SlaaartyBaaardFaaast · 16/06/2019 21:27

@Titsntats Have you sacked her yet?

I have been through this myself. I had to sack my (self-nominated) BM for much less by comparison but she was dropped and so was the so-called friendship. I was hurt but I knew very quickly afterwards that I was better off as I had been the one who made all the effort in the friendship anyway.

Big hugs xx

ihadedto · 16/06/2019 21:31

Yes come on Sun newspaper - the LEAST you can do is pay for the OP to get a new dress.
Then leave the story alone til after the wedding, then print beautiful pic of OP in her new wedding dress.
Horrible, nasty, cruel thing to do to someone.

Orchidflower1 · 16/06/2019 21:34

Op- sometimes threads like these get pulled if the papers pick them up.

Please don’t worry about your friend noticing- she’s far too obtuse and self centred for that.

Please let us know you’ve spoken to her.

Also as several pp have said has anyone mentioned this on fb? If I saw something like this on my fb I’d mention it.

Nevergiveup1980 · 16/06/2019 21:48

What a nasty sly jealous bitch! I would be absolutely fuming. I’d seriously consider dropping her as a bridesmaid. Everyone knows it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before the wedding, I know it’s only silly superstition but it’s the principal. Don’t let it spoil your wedding though whatever you decide to do. Congratulations

nuxe1984 · 16/06/2019 21:50

And no I haven't officially sacked her yet, know I need to but just don't have the energy to deal with her and find the words. Will have to do it soon though

Message her. Say that you are VERY upset over her behavior. That despite the fact that it's the tradition the bride's dress is kept secret, that despite the fact you asked her not to share it … she's gone ahead and done so. Tell her that she has broken your trust, that although you have been friends for a long time her behaviour has shed a new light on your relationship, changed the way you think about her and that you're not sure if you can ever trust her again. Therefore you are very sorry but you do not want her as a bridesmaid or at your wedding. That seeing her there would just remind you of what's she's done and upset you.

And block her … on everything! Plus tell your fiancé, parents, other bridesmaids, friends, etc. so they can block her to or at the very least not listen to her lies. I can't believe there's anybody who would think this behaviour was acceptable!

sunshinefinally · 16/06/2019 21:54

Wow OP how awful I hope you sack her!!

mathanxiety · 16/06/2019 22:07

Sack her, tell her she is no longer invited to the wedding even as a guest, and block her on SM.

She is jealous of your wedding and the attention you are paying to the preparations, and maybe of your partner.

I would bet any kind of money that she will try to wreck your wedding if she attends.

Abcd3 · 16/06/2019 22:09

I love a PP’s idea of the Sun paying for a new dress, if the OP would like one. Sun, please do offer it!!

Rache49 · 16/06/2019 22:29

I think you should get over it. Too many Bridezillas these days. The important thing is that you are marrying your Soulmate and it's one day, the beginning of the rest of your life.

Rache49 · 16/06/2019 22:40

Believe me when I say this, when you have everything ready and your Partner DIES a week before the wedding as mine did then you stop worrying about little silly details and whether things go wrong or your Bridesmaids play up.

PeppyPiggy · 16/06/2019 22:44

Rache49

Flowers
BlackSwan · 16/06/2019 22:47

That's horrendous Rache49. Unimaginable. Please be kind to yourself and don't read this kind of frivolity, by comparison to your own heartache. How long ago did this happen to you?

BumbleBeee69 · 16/06/2019 22:49

this has to be the bitchiest thing to happen to a Bride, I ever read .. I agree with everyone on here, she did this deliberately OP. Get Rid Flowers

JingsMahBucket · 16/06/2019 23:03

@Rache49 that’s unfortunate about your partner and wedding but the OP is allowed to have her own grief as well, especially on her own thread. It’s not just about the dress. It’s about a friend willfully betraying her and possibly ending a friendship.

IvanaPee · 16/06/2019 23:06

@Rache49 I’m sorry for your terrible loss but you’re being unfair to the OP.

There are always awful things in the world. Terrible, sad things. But that doesn’t mean nobody is ever allowed to be upset about something because someone, somewhere is going through a worse time.

@Titsntats is allowed to feel upset about a friend who’s acted badly. I don’t think it’s fair, really, for you to use your tragedy against her.

testingtesting111 · 16/06/2019 23:21

@Rache49 sorry for your loss, but your situation is very different to the op's. By way of amplify, i could comment from here to kingdom come on pnd/potential termination boards re people's lack of appreciation for what I would dearly love re my baby losses but don't.

Op Rachel's loss doesn't detract from the fact your bridesmaid ha been a prize dick