Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

[Titsntats]

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

It was a calculated act to upset op and ruin the surprise for her oh and dad. It was a completely bitchy thing to do.

I’m just not sure what would drive someone to do something mean like that.. it’s hard for me to really understand

I'm really glad you are sacking her - she has shown her true colours. How dare she do that.

I'm glad you love the dress so much it isn't going to change your mind - but options are a different shade maybe, of the same dress - that may be possible (unless you are buying ready-made off the shelf). Or, with veil/tiara/birdcage hat, accessories, shoes, shawl - you can still look like a total surprise when you waltz down the aisle.

I hope you have a wonderful day!

P.S. Can we see a photo!

@NewDOOFUSfor19 I didn’t even know that was a thing!? do you know what it’s called? I feel I need to see this

Thank you for all your responses, I am feeling a bit better about it all now thinking about your revenge ideas

There really is a wedding shaming page some of its funny, some is harsh af! I got shamed as I'm having Nordic tipis as our reception venue, apparently I'm racist and vulgar 😂😂

@Titsntats it's called that's it, I'm wedding shaming

*YANBU
*

I would be furious!! Has she apologised? It's not only the fact your dad and fiancé have seen it, everybody else has too, I feel really sad for you, I thought it was common curtesy to not post photos of the bride until at least the evening part of the wedding, never mind at the dress fitting. I don't think I'd be able to let this one go. I'm getting married next week so maybe my emotions are heightening it for me but I'm raging on your behalf!

This is sly and VU

This is absolutely horrendous. It’s less what she did than the fact you specifically asked her not to. I mean, tagging him in??

It won’t ruin your day though. It won’t. There are a million other amazing things about your day to look forward to, and a million other surprises. If you struggle to get past this, maybe use some CBT techniques to help you focus on the positives you’ve got to look forward to.

This is deliberate and designed to upset you and flout your wishes. Whatever agenda this woman has I would not want her around - ever again. This is absolutely not the behaviour of a friend.

I am genuinely shocked anyone would do that! I would be furious and they would no longer be my bridesmaid.
I’m sure your day will still be perfect and both your husband and dad will still be blown over by you in your dress on your big day!

Wow how spiteful can someone be why would u upload a picture to Facebook of u in your dress & then tag your partner in it I’m sorry but what a bitch! The tradition is the groom or partner does not see the bride or groom in there wedding dress/outfit until the day. She’s done that out of spite & probably jealousy. I would lose that friendship right away x

Just for a laugh, send her an invoice for the dress. Say she has to pay for it as you now need to purchase an alternative.

What a cow! That’s one of the most hateful things I have heard. How dare she do that. A bride’s dress is supposed to be a secret.
I would bin her off, she is no friend to you I’m afraid

She’s an attention seeking, nasty witch. Is she jealous of you?Everyone knows that the ‘surprise ‘ of the dress is a massive part of the day so I’m sure everyone will be feeling negatively towards her for trying to spoil this for you.
But I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of being a part of your special day. It’s YOUR day so I’d tell her she’s not welcome and get on and enjoy every minute. And you’ll look amazing! Tell her over Facebook seeing as she’s such a fan of it!! YA definitely NBU!!

I would lynch her, what a silly cow!!!!

Omg! That is bang out of order. What kind of a person does this?! When I read the title I thought she had done it during the wedding before official photos were posted which is bad enough but to do it before and actually tag your husband to be is actually feckless! She sounds like a jealous friend to me. Hope you can get past this and enjoy your day xxx

Yes,it was way out of order for the bridesmaid to do such a thing, and she needs a very stern telling off,and she will not be trusted to do anything else in the future. But I guess you will just have to go along with it now,,and just try and nurse your own disappointment.

Just have a great wedding day anyway. maybe spill some red wine on her bridesmaids dress,,, no not really, I am am not the vindictive type !!

Wow, it’s an unwritten rule no one knows about the dress, what an absolute bitch. Definitely sack her!

She's an idiot. She should delete it and apologise. Plus I'm surprised she was allowed to take a photo. Bridal shops are usually quite strict about allowing that

That’s not what I’d call a friend sorry. I totally understand how you’re feeling. She wouldn’t be at my wedding after pulling that stunt.

That’s a terrible thing to do I’m sorry she spoiled your surprise. Day of you will look million dollars don’t worry you will still wow your husband. I would tell that girl she’s been out of order and hurt you tho

Not RTFT but that’s not OK OP!
Everybody knows that the dress is a surprise to the groom - hence the photos of them looking all surprised when you arrive down the aisle!
My grandma came with me to one of my fittings and took a photograph of me in my dress, which I then found out she’d then shown to some of my family members - it came from a good place as she wanted to show them how much she liked it, but I was still annoyed with her!

That is no friend. Who does that? She would no longer be a braidsmaid. You have every right to be angry. However once you got all your accessories on, make up and hair done you will look different. Dont let that bitch spoil it for you

I bet she's sorry she got caught not that she did a shitty thing.
I personally don't get the hype of 'most important day' but spoiling something special for the lulz is reasonable grounds to say 'bye friendship!'