Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 18 19 20 ··· 33 34

Original poster

Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

829 replies

Titsntats · 15/06/2019 07:21

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

OP posts:

NewDOOFUSfor19 · 16/06/2019 04:02

This thread has just popped up on s wedding shaming page on Facebook 😳

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 16/06/2019 04:12

I'm not into the whole wedding day thing dress thing as I think it's nonsense but bloody hell she really is a bitch that's an awful thing to do to someone. She's done it deliberately she knows full well that not only do you care very much about keeping it private it's so not the done thing to do in the slightest. She didn't even take it down after you asked her to.
She should not be your bridesmaid and you shouldn't be her friend she doesn't give a shit about you.

sashh · 16/06/2019 06:30

Or even just enough for her not to be able to do it up. Mwhahaha!

If it is tight fitting undo thesticking of the zip around the bum. It won't show at the start of the day, but it will 'split'

Dump her on facebook, it seems the most appropriate way todo it.

llewellyn25 · 16/06/2019 07:01

I'm pretty relaxed about wedding but I'd be utterly furious. She doesn't sound like a friend to me.

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 16/06/2019 07:15

There's a weddingshaming page?!

WhoKnewBeefStew · 16/06/2019 07:20

What on earth possessed her to do such a thing!!

I'm the least weddingy person I know, but even I realise this is way out of order

ewenice · 16/06/2019 08:32

Does she have the hots for your soon to be husband? There's something quite intimate about sharing a photo of the wedding dress to him. Can't quite put my finger on why it bothers me in that way. Are they good friends?

MangosteenSoda · 16/06/2019 08:49

How close is it to the wedding? I wouldn’t necessarily sack her as bridesmaid, just because I wouldn’t want that to overshadow the wedding in any way. If she’s part of your bigger friendship group and everyone knows about it, there might be a bit of gossip on wedding day.

I would definitely reassess the friendship though and keep a close eye on her interactions with you and your husband. If she’s been your close friend for 20 years, I assume she must have some good points. Only you know if she’s genuinely over excited for you. Like everyone else, from the outside it looks like a deliberately spiteful act.

Orchidflower1 · 16/06/2019 09:26

I agree ewenice it’s very weird why she’d tag the husband ( to be ) in.

How deep does the green eyed monster go? X

cricketmum84 · 16/06/2019 09:27

I am at this. It's way over the line, so over the line that you can't even see the line anymore, the line is a dot lol!

I dont understand how anyone could think this is okay

ssd · 16/06/2019 09:28

I'm not up on wedding etiquette at all but even I recognise this is a shitty thing to do and totally unforgivable.
I wouldn't have her at the wedding now, at all.

ssd · 16/06/2019 09:31

This is one story I wouldn't mind getting in the papers as I'd hope she'd be suitably embarrassed!!!

Beechview · 16/06/2019 09:32

You have to consider what her intentions were and I don’t think they were good.
She’s not much of a friend at all.

MindyStClaire · 16/06/2019 10:35

I'm with MangosteenSoda - she's a stone cold bitch to do it. But I wouldn't want the gossip or to risk looking like bridezilla. Drop her after the wedding though.

cricketmum84 · 16/06/2019 10:45

@MindyStClaire I would rather face the gossip than have to spend my wedding day with someone who had done that as my bridesmaid. She's going to be in most of the wedding photos as BM, that would ruin my memories of the day to be honest.

MindyStClaire · 16/06/2019 11:01

Yeah that's fair enough cricketmum84, I guess it's personal preference. I hate confrontation and being the target of gossip (I'm not a walkover, just tend to take the easy path), so I'd find it easier to suck it up, and make sure to get plenty of photos without her. But would completely understand OP feeling differently.

Either way, I think we can all agree this is not a friend. I mean, it's just a dress, she hasn't put anyone at risk of physical harm or tried to ruin the marriage. But man, it's a spectacularly bitchy thing to do.

Jollymollyx · 16/06/2019 11:03

OMG that’s like the worst thing you could do
Even if I see a bride before she’s walked out and taken a picture I never ever would post it until she’s walked out

I would serious forget this friend being your bridesmaid especially because she can’t even be bothered to see your point!!!

IABUQueen · 16/06/2019 11:06

Is she a bit socially daft ?

buckeejit · 16/06/2019 11:08

If she did this, then god knows what she could do on the day. I wouldn't have her

cricketmum84 · 16/06/2019 11:11

I agree @MindyStClaire it's just vicious.

BeUpStanding · 16/06/2019 11:14

Holy fuck! Unforgivable. Ditch her as your bridesmaid and as your friend.

LimeKiwi · 16/06/2019 11:31

@cricketmum84. It's way over the line, so over the line that you can't even see the line anymore, the line is a dot lol!

Totally just read that in Joey's voice lol

cricketmum84 · 16/06/2019 11:45

@LimeKiwi I totally wrote it in Joey's voice 😂

Willow2017 · 16/06/2019 11:46

Is she a bit socially daft ?

Nothing daft about someone engineering to be there when op put the dress on then photographing her without her knowing, putting it online straight away and deliberately tagging the exact two people she knew op did not want seeing her dress.
It was a calculated act to upset op and ruin the surprise for her oh and dad. It was a completely bitchy thing to do.

Op she isn't a friend at all. Ditch her like a hot potato.

LimeKiwi · 16/06/2019 11:50

This thread has just popped up on s wedding shaming page on Facebook

goes to check FB

Flip

1 2 ··· 18 19 20 ··· 33 34

Swipe left for the next trending thread